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By The Betches on

In this installment of Betches Love This College, we bring you Southern Methodist Millionaire's University, best known for its rich white people. Only the strong survive at SMU, and by strong we mean pretty, WASBy, and born into the #17 Lucky Sperm Club. (And since Kourtney Kardashian is only 2 out of 3, she lasted just one semester.)

The betch who goes here has a rolling membership to Palm Beach Tan, an undergrad M-R-S degree in the works, and refuses to walk anywhere... I mean, so what if she lives on campus and it takes longer to find parking than the walk to Cox? You better fucking believe she's driving her Range Rover to class.

Greek Life

It's unlikely that a betch who goes to SMU chooses not to be in a sorority, and unless she's fucking clueless. First semester freshman year is the most important time in this betch's life to slap on her #41 fake smile and lay off the semen.

Sororities: Top 3 are obviously Theta, Kappa, and Pi Phi. Don't pretend like you ever wanted to rush any other house.

Thetas have a rep for being coke/potheads and are mainly from Cali, the east coast, Chicago, and some foreign countries. Pi Phis try maintain their nicegirl rep but everyone knows they love their coke, ecstasy and FIJI dick. Kappas are southerners who idolize Martha Stewart and are in a constant race to tie the knot.

Every SMU sorority girl knows the power of her sorority pin and shows that shit off on every purse and outfit that she owns. Forget it at home and run the risk of being mistaken for a freshman or worse, a GDI.

Fraternities: It's imperative that a betch finds the frat she best identifies with at the beginning of freshman year and ensures her invite to every formal and away weekend with that frat for the next four years. Make sure it's one of the top four: FIJI for the betch who loves a good lesson in smokenomics, Phi Delt for the southern betch who loves a good snow day, PIKE for every #157 WGG betch, or SAE for annual passes to #10 Candyland and some magic chili in the Spring.

The frat scene fizzles after sophomore year, when rush and themed parties are no longer the most important thing in the world. Juniors and seniors love Uptown on the weekends and Homebar Thursday but girls never get over their sororities and are obsessed with any event their house puts on.

Post college

SMU betches who stay in Dallas are probably members of elite social clubs like Slipper Club and Cotillion Club and have boyfriends in Calyx - because nothing says friendship like paying people to hang out with you. (NOTE: It's ok to branch out if you're paying top dollar for it.)

This post-college, Southern belle betch is waiting for her pro boyfriend of four years to pop the question so that she can stop pretending she actually wants to be in law school. Unfortunately, she can't see through her rose-colored Ray Bans that her man isn't just an investment banker, he's a real cake boy.

At Night You Should

Monday: Milo's

Tuesday: Stan's Blue Note

Wednesday: San Fransisco Rose for karaoke

Thursday: Homebar. The only thing worse than not making it to Homebar Thursday is being uncomfortably sober at Homebar and subjected to watching a group of Kappas dance in a circle to Britney Spears while taking pictures of each other.

Homebar is also great because if you're not dating your dealer and you don't have any connections to an SAE, you can always order a gram of coke with your next round of Vegas Bombs and blow lines on the picnic tables out back with your besties.

Friday and Saturday: Go to Uptown and hunt for Dallas pros. Choose between Liar's Den, TABC, Idle Rich, and Rio Room if your pro BF is getting a table.

During The Day You Should

Year-round, a betch can be found working off her iced coffee at Dedman, tanning at the Falls, training for her next half-marathon on the Katy Trail, or charging a pair of Louboutins to her mom's Neiman's card at NorthPark.

See and be seen any day of the week at Katy Trail Ice House.

Fall: Tailgating is the perfect opportunity for a betch to go to brunch with her besties and continue getting shitfaced on the Boulevard for the next three hours. It's every betch's favorite way to show she has school spirit by dressing up in her slutty Sunday best. And since no betch would ever be caught dead at the actual football game, she kills time after the tailgate and before her night out by making her way over to Barley House, Milo's or Ozonas.

Sidenote: SMU betches will never understand how it is socially acceptable for girls at state schools to wear t-shirts to tailgate.

Special Events Include

Phi Delt Casino, SAE Jungle, FIJI Island, KA Crawfish Boil, SAE Chili Cook Off, PIKE Shrimpfest, formals, and Mom's/ Dad's Weekend.

Rush Week: It fucking sucks for everyone, but is culminated in a degrading and hilarious tradition affectionately known as the Pig Run. Frat guys line up to throw shit at freshmen girls who are running towards their new sorostitute houses. Nothing is funnier than seeing a baby pledge bawling on the way to her new house as a frat star pelts her in her horse face with a water balloon.

Bid Day is also a great reason to day drink with your besties and climb trees while wearing catsuits all in the name of sorority pride.

Fall break: Everyone who's anyone (AKA the Thursday night Homebar crowd) will be in Vegas for Fall Break, and every bestie group will have their own table at XS at least one night. 

Mardi Gras: A Southern betch loves beads and scoping out new help for her granddaddy's cotton farm in Alabama.

Homecoming: Is the result of SMU's sexually repressed community dying to see fraternity guys dress in costume, proving that southern republicans are secretly raging homosexuals. With themes like Broadway musicals and Disney movies, there really is no other explanation: Homecoming = shady gay pride parade.

Music Festivals: SMU betches love dressing up in neon and bringing their BFF molly out for the night. House music runs the SMU bubble of betches and douchebags. (Obvi the George Dubstep Bush Library would be at SMU. Laura raved at SMU in her heyday.)

Spring Break

A betch can be found in Cabo, Acapulco, The Bahamas, or Costa Rica. 

Study Abroad

Most people don't go abroad (nothing says Southern white people like an inability to see the value in any country but #63 America) but those who do go to the typical places: Barcelona, Madrid, Copenhagen, Paris, London, Australia. A lot of SMU betches do summer in Taos where you get credit for classes like rock climbing, probs even birdwatching or some other bullshit, but basically everyone just sits around campfires and shotguns beers for a month.

Where to live

Freshmen year - McElvaney or Boaz. You don't want to get stuck in the multi-cultural dorm Morrison-McGinnis or worse, Mary Hay or Peyton and live with the Meadows students Drama freaks.

Sophomore year - guys live in frat houses, girls live in brothels. Live on Normandy, Rosedale, Rankin, Milton or in Uptown.

Junior and Senior years — girls live in their sorority houses and guys move off campus to locations mentioned above.


If she eats at all, it's at Central Market or Eatzi's for the free samples.

Froyo is a betchy staple. Take your pick from PinkBerry, Yumilicious, Menchie's and I Heart Yogurt.

Brunch at Nick and Sam's Grill, Penne Pomodoro, or Bread Winners.

There is so much tex-mex food it's dangerous. Dallas betches can’t get enough queso. Mi Cocina is a betch’s fave Mexican restaurant. An episode of Khloe and Lamar was shot there (Kim wouldn’t eat the tortilla chips). Their Mambo Taxis are a lethal mix of margaritas and sangria.

Javier’s for your pro bf to take you for gourmet Mexican.

Gloria’s and Blue Goose are also fave Mexican restaurants for betches where it's socially acceptable to get sloppy. Dinners before formals, pledge class dinners, and birthday parties are big at Glo’s and Blue Goose for betches. “Blue Goose, get loose”

Most cultural thing you'll experience

Sake bombing at Kyoto, Asians in Fondren, skinny margaritas at Banditos, or practicing for your Spanish test with the Mexican women who cleans your sorority house.

Before You Graduate You Should

Hook up on the lawn in front of Dallas Hall without getting caught by SMU PD

Be spotted on SMU Style as most stylish on campus. BONUS: be really original and start your own fashion blog.


Park n Pony, Mexicans, the high ugly guy to gorgeous girl ratio forcing betches to date guys for their personalites, and povo professors

122 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Massie says:

    SMU is awesome but what the hell is up with all of the southern school. Come on betches.

    Posted on Reply
  2. TXbetch says:

    Hell fucking yes.  Didn’t go to SMU as Dallas is my hometown, but you can bet all your NorthPark gold that I spent my prime betch-in-training years being guided along the path to betchdom by some Kappas who were all too ready to take me under their wing.  I learned so much from them and truly owe it to those betches for allowing me to show up to my own four years of college more than prepared.

    Needless to say, this post definitely confirms that we need a Betches Love This City: Dallas post soon.  I mean, it’s been pretty clear since the eighties when Pam Ewing was queen betch of TV (I honestly believe our fav vamp betch Pam is named after her).

    Posted on Reply
  3. Betchy girl says:

    Do Indiana university next!

    Posted on Reply
  4. SMUBetch says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE!! YAY I have been waiting for this.

    Posted on Reply
  5. SMU Greek says:

    We don’t tailgate, we Boulevard. Get it right.

    Posted on Reply
    • Drizzy Dre says:

      DAMN RIGHT!!! #SMUAlum

      Posted on Reply
      • MsmuH says:

        Ridiculous - yes we do boulevard and the sororities are a little different than described above but all in all, ok. It was seriously the best 4 years of my life but as much as y’all think SMU is a school filled with people who like to “experiment” with certain things, that is totally not the case. If you want it, I’m sure its there - but if you don’t, you are fine. Go to an SEC school and go to the “southern” frats and then you won’t be talking smack about SMU and its drug problems. trust me.

        Posted on Reply
    • SMU lover says:

      what’s a tailgate?

      Posted on Reply
  6. hell yes says:

    SMU could not be a more perfect school for this. Well done

    Posted on Reply
  7. IVY says:

    Fuck all these wannabe WASPy schools where rich trashy white people can pretend their smart because they go to a college they just paid their ways into. Give us a betches love IVY League - a betch’s guide to the ancient eight POR FAVOR!!!

    Posted on Reply
      • wow.... says:

        They’re is a contraction for they are. According to your correction she’d be saying “college they just paid they are ways into.” Ivy is right. Your are wrong. I go to SMU and I wish I could say I’m surprised by your egregious mistake… but unfortunately I’m not.

        And just in case you were thinking of correcting me it is your not you’re.

        Posted on Reply
        • Wow, you're stupid says:

          actually, the correction was referring to the first “their” in it should read “can pretend THEY’RE smart.”

          Posted on Reply
        • Different Ivy says:

          Uh, wow….I think you focused on the wrong “their” in Ivy’s sentence.

          Posted on Reply
          • haha!! says:

            lolol, obviously “wow…” wasn’t sharp enough to catch the real mistake. using words like “egregious” to sound smart… so silly

            Posted on Reply
    • subject/verb agreement check says:

      “they just paid their ways into”? dont think so. looks like the ivy league isn’t working all that well for you…sad.

      Posted on Reply
      • Barbie says:

        “where rich trashy white people can pretend their smart ” should say “where rich trashy white people can pretend they’re smart”.....tsk tsk

        Posted on Reply
    • SMU Alum says:

      I don’t think IVY could handle SMU


      Posted on Reply
  8. Regina says:

    A poor person obviously wrote this.

    Posted on Reply
    • SMUalum says:

      yes, agreed.

      Posted on Reply
  9. SMUBlondie says:

    LOVE. You nailed this! thank you thank you! We’re proud of every part of this smile

    Posted on Reply
  10. Morgan says:

    Regina, hahahaha you’re exactly right.
    I went to SMU.  We’re not snobs, we’re just better than you.  Deal with it sluts.

    Posted on Reply
  11. Love192 says:

    USC needs to be next….cannot wait to hear the smack down on dg, theta, and kapppppa. hah

    Posted on Reply
  12. WASPho says:

    That’s alright! That’s OK! You’re going to work for us, one day!

    Posted on Reply
  13. Slutty Susan says:

    More Cocaine than Sigmund Freud too.

    Posted on Reply
  14. ponyupnothankyou says:

    Went to SMU my freshman year and now I’m transferring universities this fall because of pretty much everything listed in this article. SPOT FUCKING ON

    Posted on Reply
    • Let's be honest says:

      What you mean is: “I didn’t get into a decent sorority and want to try again at a different school.”

      Posted on Reply
      • ponyupnothankyou says:

        What I mean is, I’m going to a school that targets more than just one demographic

        Posted on Reply
        • FreakedFreshman says:

          And now I’m regretting my decision in schools… This is the opposite of me… I’ve never been more afraid in my life.

          Posted on Reply
      • GDI or Die says:

        fortunately not everyone is as concerned with greek life as you assume. the greek life at SMU is absolutely revolting, and good for her for not wanting to be a airheaded barbie doll replica like all the other sorority girls at SMU

        Posted on Reply
    • smEW says:

      Totally correct. A school for people that didn’t get into USC or Vandy. Wanna-be southerns and transplants in a snobby, small and dirty city. School’s rankings are deplorable for where they’d like to be. Greek is taken way too seriously to the point of not being fun anymore and both guys and girls stress way too much over rush and “house rankings”. Also, the whole “pretty people” stereotype is the furthest from true. Pike, Kappa and Theta might be the only attractive houses on campus (and maybe half of the members in those houses are attractive anyways). Overall, a C+/B- school that might get you an decent job if you’re out of Cox (would be better if it was a MBA). Reputation in the city sucks, everyone thinks you’re a snob with a silver spoon. All the uptown yuppies will have come form better schools with more normal people and more enjoyable personalities. If you wanted good, normal greek at a great school, you should have gone to UT Austin (but if you’re out of state at SMU, you probably didn’t get into UT). Total backup school, through and through.

      Posted on Reply
      • bitter? says:

        you must’ve gone to TCU…

        Posted on Reply
        • smEW says:

          Please, everyone knows the only thing worse than SMU is TCU. Texas private schools, what a joke.

          Posted on Reply
          • Your Name says:

            The writer of this article and the people who respond negatively
            to SMU are probably from either CA or NY and have NO sense of
            class, honor .    I know I went to UCLA -  my son went to SMU
              UCLA was full of self- centered, impersonal, disinterested
            people .  Teachers could care less about you .
            SMU is the opposite - there is a definite warmth and caring from inclusive
            professors and students .  I would take it any day over most any school
            in CA
              I would take it ANYDAY over most any school in PC riddled CA

            Posted on Reply
      • haha says:

        talk about trying to hard!  This website is supposed to be funny, maybe you should stop reading it if it is going to upset you so much

        Posted on Reply
      • Dallas Born & Bred says:

        “Snobby, small and dirty city” !!! Oh HECK no! And as for the part about USC or Vandy? Ew…never. Not even on TX betch’s radar. It’s SMU, UT Austin (or OU depending on legacy), Rice if you’re Asian (that’s literally not even racist, it’s just a really Asian school) maybe even A&M or Tech, but by that point we’re more likely to just go out of state. I’d definitely go UT (which I did get into) over SMU had I not gone out of state, but don’t dis my city betch. Dallas is the shit!

        Posted on Reply
      • jensy says:

        It’s PI PHI, Theta and Kappa….Pike is a fraternity, Pi Kappa Alpha. Just to set the record straight

        Posted on Reply
    • YAYYY says:

      OMG I transferred too…. and i didn’t go through rush there cause i had already applied for transfer sooo no.  but this is so right!! i mean good for the people who like it… but i want more out of life than being a wife.. just something personal.

      You’ll love your new school, I do!

      Posted on Reply
  15. smu says:

    Very Southern which goes with pledging Chi-O plus a brand new large house in the works. Do your homework, nobody there would use the word tailgating only Boulevard.

    Posted on Reply
    • SMU says:

      You’re clearly a Chi-O who is bitter about not being in a top house :( it’s ok, everything is going to be alright.

      Posted on Reply
      • smu says:

        It’s clearly okay,we have a great group of girls and don’t need to be betches all time.

        Posted on Reply
        • thetakappapiphi says:

          “Stop trying to make Chi-O happen! It’s not going to happen!”

          Posted on Reply
          • smusmu says:

            AGREED. Who cares about your house and how big it is—that’s like saying Lambda Chi was all of a sudden become a BA frat because they got a kick ass house (and only because SMU bought their property and owned their house) - nonetheless, it’s all about the people in the house, not how big or new the house is—- even though it is Dallas. Pathetic.

            Posted on Reply
  16. Rachel says:

    Betches need to do Boston College

    Posted on Reply
    • BCbetch says:

      I know, right?

      Posted on Reply
  17. SMUvep says:

    disturbingly accurate.  great 4 years that i will never allow my children to experience….  it was even thrustier when the Elephant was in its prime

    Posted on Reply
  18. Hilltop says:


    Posted on Reply
  19. Just saying says:

    That yellow lambo belongs to non-white non-wasp, middle eastern girl.

    Posted on Reply
  20. DoIt says:

    I’m a GDI and I want to say that though I never get pussy, I still like looking at the hot chicks, so it’s ok.

    Posted on Reply
    • John says:

      they are damn hot aren’t they? be aggressive dude, you only go through college once. Go for it!

      There are plenty of cool people at SMU, this is the small % - seek them out, I had a great time.

      Posted on Reply
  21. SMU <3 says:

    OMG totally perfect. OBSESSED with my time there. Fucking great bitches, bros, and obvio tex mex. love the falls… everyone knows that an SMU betch has to be tan year round. Homecoming 2012 betches!

    Posted on Reply
  22. Betch. says:


    Posted on Reply
  23. Drizzy Dre says:

    #PonyUP I love my alma mater, but BELIEVE ME whoever did this blog was ON POINT with their SHIT LOL I would add Blue Mesa Grill to a happy hour/brunch place, but other than that this was FAIRLY ACCURATE.  If I could do it all over again, I’d STILL go to SMU!

    Posted on Reply
    • ponyupnothankyou says:

      Loved the classes but hated the people, which can make or break a person’s college experience. Suffice it to say that I will be not be looking back on my decision to leave.

      Posted on Reply
  24. dskdsaskhj says:

    if you’re not a kappa theta pi phi or sae phi delt fiji pike you don’t really go to this school end of story

    Posted on Reply
    • SMU says:

      I call bullshit. Go self rank yourself somewhere else.

      Posted on Reply
  25. Ew says:

    Ew. Enough of this Southern shit. Republicans are trashy. And betches don’t love trash.
    Love, an East Coast, Ivy Betch.

    Posted on Reply
    • alkdfhjsfdj says:

      If you’re going to generalize the entire south/Republicans as trashy you just look ignorant.  Everyone needs to stop being so clueless about this.  Love, a fellow East Coast, Ivy Betch.

      Posted on Reply
    • Are you an idiot? says:

      But really. “Republicans are trashy”? Hunny, DEMOCRATS are trashy. Are republicans on welfare? No. Stop giving your ignorant opinion. No one cares. Keep it up north, bitch.

      Posted on Reply
      • decembetch says:

        hahahahahhaahah. too true. Democrats are the definition of fucking povo. So how dare you call republicans trashy like are you fucking mentally ill? Sorry that your probably a feminist loving bleeding heart liberal who believes that we should live in a socialist shit hole where money is given out like candy. Sorry that my dads taxes shouldn’t have to support poor and ignorant bums most likely like yourself.

        Posted on Reply
  26. Ghostface Killah says:

    Monday it’s monday night football, then tuesday booze-day, and then it’s the weekend.  Ivy league schools party like shit

    Posted on Reply
  27. AR says:

    How do you call an SMU GRAD???

    Posted on Reply
  28. Jk says:

    Southern Millioniare’s University, not Southern Methodist Millionaire’s University.  Getter’ right.  It ain’t no USC where betches need to change out of their high heels to running shoes to make it back to the Sorority without getting shot!

    Posted on Reply
  29. "Top Tier" sorostitute 2012 says:

    This could not be more (unfortunately) accurate. Nailed it! The only addendum I would add is to mention the wanna be greeks and their desperate attempt to prove themselves on sites like “juicy campus”, “college cab”, or “campus gossip”. There are 2 types of people that go to SMU: people who searched their name amongst the archives of the previously mentioned websites and fucking liars.

    Posted on Reply
  30. SMU betch says:

    Tailgate? Poor people tailgate…. we Boulevard.

    Posted on Reply
  31. Dallas Born & Bred says:

    OMG! Uptown+tequila+froyo+Eatzis! I love it <3 Good job betches! Been a Dallas betch my whole life and I think you got this one down packed!

    Posted on Reply
  32. Texas Schools says:

    Love this! Texas schools are super betchy… you should definitely write an article about TCU too.

    Posted on Reply
    • erm says:

      but TCU is poor.

      Posted on Reply
      • TCU Sucks says:

        Those little frogs are so cute, it’s like they think they’re people!

        Posted on Reply
  33. Steve says:

    I went to SMU, and have been surrounded by hot girls for the past 20 years, really, and SMU girls are awesome, sweet, philanthropic darlings.

    So suck on that.

    Posted on Reply
  34. Kay says:

    I went to SMU and EVERYTHING they say is spot on, even if it includes me, and well, it doesn’t.  I will say that I do know the difference between their, there and they’re.

    Posted on Reply
  35. Diana says:

    Dear SMU, After countless nights at Jack’s, Homebar, and the Green Elephant, I got my sorority letters & MRS. degree.  After my wedding we had a brief stop along the way at HARVARD where my hubby got his masters,  and in a matter of years we will be part of the 1%. I can’t thank you enough.

    Posted on Reply
    • your a dumbass says:

      homebar is green elephant you fucking loser

      Posted on Reply
  36. harrison says:

    RIP Jacks. Pledgeship was the best and worst semester.

    Posted on Reply
  37. SMUMEXI says:

    Drawbacks: Mexicans…haha thats unfortuante…

    Posted on Reply
  38. SMUbetch says:

    couldnt be more accurate

    Posted on Reply
  39. Bush2012 says:

    I am really enjoying the reinforcement of conservative wealthy stereotypes from current and former students comments. Nothing says college education more, than spewing ignorance.

    Posted on Reply
    • CollegeEducated? says:

      Check your grammar….. I thought people learned how to use commas in middle school

      Posted on Reply
  40. USC says:

    usc. definitely betchy and deserving of a full-on blog post.

    Posted on Reply
  41. SMU 80s says:

    Vegas? Puh-lease. Tres déclassé.

    As former SMU President James Zumberge said, “there is nothing inherently wrong with coming from a family of means”.

    However entertainers Bowley and Wilson (SMU alums) were observant with their infamous ditty, “You’ll Never Get Your Wish from an SMU Sorority Betch”

    Posted on Reply
    • ProbationMania says:

      Let’s be complete about Bowley and Wilson’s spot-on observations:

      1.  You’re never gonna get your wish (with an SMU sorority betch);
      2.  You’re never gonna taste that dish (with an SMU sorority betch); and
      3.  You’re never gonna smell like fish (with an SMU sorority betch).

      Cha cha cha.

      Posted on Reply
  42. lame says:

    tcu is better

    Posted on Reply
  43. SMU Phi says:

    I was a phi delt back in the day. We went to SMU to get fucked up and break shit. Betches just came with the territory.

    Posted on Reply
  44. smdouche says:

    it’s a cesspool of mother fuckers

    Posted on Reply
  45. FutureElleWoods says:

    How have you not done UVA yet? We are the queens of betches everywhere.

    Posted on Reply
  46. WestCoastBetch says:

    We all know California is by far the betchiest state. PLEASE DO USC!

    Posted on Reply
  47. Question says:

    How do you get into the top houses?

    Posted on Reply
  48. wow says:

    I’m sorry but this speaks to the HORRIBLE education you’re getting.. regardless of the main points this is horribly written… I’m surprised they let it on their site.

    Posted on Reply
  49. OMG says:

    That is hilarious but cant actually be true. What about the other sororities… AXO? DG? CHI O? I heard the AXOs and DGs have gotten pretty fun these past couple of years

    Posted on Reply
  50. Real University Park Betch says:

    Everyone in Dallas (or everywhere?) knows that SMU’s colors are blue and red. That picture you have up there must be from some rando high school or fucking weird college. But other than that loved this!

    Posted on Reply
  51. texas a&m says:

    Please do one for texas a&m!!!

    Posted on Reply
  52. smu says:

    Is it hard to get into the top four fraternities?

    Posted on Reply
  53. smu frats says:

    To put it simply, yes. You pretty much need to be friends with upperclassmen that are in the fraternities or have friends that have connections. Some may tell you it was easy for them to get a bid from these fraternities, but the sad fact is that is not true for the majority of us. And even if you know upperclassmen in these fraternities, they won’t rush you unless you have that certain amount of “frattiness” that is required to be a pike, sae, fiji, or phi delt. That being said, there are plenty of other fraternities not in the “top four” that have plenty of fun and great guys as well.

    Posted on Reply
  54. Poor Ivy says:

    what is a contraction?..

    Posted on Reply
  55. lolabetch says:

    TEXAS should be next!

    Posted on Reply
  56. TCU says:

    Do TCU it’s the better version of SMU

    Posted on Reply
    • Smu betch says:

      TCU is nationally ranked #92,
      SMU? #58
      Putting aside all of the bull, SMU is actually better…

      Posted on Reply
  57. Madeline says:

    UT Austin should be next! Awesome city, great greek life, and you can get a degree that actually means something to the rest of the world instead of just your MRS wink

    Posted on Reply
  58. TCU says:

    TCU is SO much better!!

    Posted on Reply
  59. SMU2017 says:

    just decided to go to SMU!!! Not sure what I’m getting myself into lol, but I’m sure it’ll be a great four years! PONY UP BETCHES.

    Posted on Reply
  60. TEXASBETCH says:

    Do TCU next! So many rich betches go there and it WAY more popular these days.

    Posted on Reply
    • SMUuuuu says:

      Well isn’t that cute

      Posted on Reply
  61. Brenda Patimkin says:

    You betches are too much. Someone in marketing told you to put the most goyishe school you could think of on the list, so that your audience wouldn’t think you just obsessed about Jew Schools. How else would you come up with SMU?

    Speaking of Jew Schools… you missed Emory and Wash U - those still have big congregations of Jericho and Scarsdale High School graduates and unlike the 3 Midwest Big 10 Schools and Maryland, they’re private.

    Posted on Reply
  62. ACKcitybetch says:

    It was pretty liberating turning down UT Business and W&L for an Econ major to go to SMU. Austin is just too…prole.

    Posted on Reply
  63. Lila says:

    You should do UT Austin!!! It’s the best party school and has great everything. Do it!!

    Posted on Reply
  64. UT says:

    speaking of UT, will you PLEASE do UT, Austin!!!!!

    Posted on Reply
  65. TCU > SMU says:

    DO TCU!!! It’s about damn time!

    Posted on Reply
  66. SMU BOARD says:

    If you want to sound ignorant, argue how SMU students are the best at everything they do…UT of Austin > SMU. Everybody knows UT of A rests higher on the hierarchy here.

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  67. Liz says:

    Whoever wrote this is just bitter, and watched others live their fun-filled college lives. Yes, you probably were in a sub-par fraternity and none of the pretty girls would even glance your way.  Yes, there are definitely rich kids at this school, but there are also regular kids whose parents worked hard to pay for this finer education, and then there are those on hard-won academic and work-study scholarships. You’ve painted quite the stereotypical picture of SMU. I think SMU has much more to offer anyone who puts forth some effort so why don’t you get up off your ass and go find out what that might be.  Try to better the planet by being a contributing member of your community rather than typing rant-filled nonsense on the internet.

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  68. SMU Mustang says:

    SMU is a fun place full of hot sexy girls (9.5s and 10s!!!) wearing beautiful skin-tight clothes and successful people living the “jet set” life.  It is the best school in Texas, by far.  One should pick SMU over UT or Rice any day, as the networking and connections at SMU are much better, not to mention the academics are great.  The article left out one major fraternity: Sig Ep.  The top two fraternities on campus are Phi Delt and Sig Ep.  Sig Ep rocks!!!

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  69. SMU ALU says:

    Most of the Mexicans that attend this school have more money than you will ever make in your entire lifetime

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  70. Pony up says:

    I met an inordinate amount of down to earth fun motivated friends.  It was the best four years of my life I even met my wife there.i got a great education worked hard and make a great living to take care of my family.  Like OMG that is so against today’s current trend of sit on your ass and wait for somebody to send you your handout!  Our basketball games are unreal and well work your school like you’re our bitches!!

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  71. SMUChick says:

    It’s “Boulevarding” not “tailgating.” It seems like #SheDoesntEvenGoHere

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  72. Dan says:

    This website sucks. Liar’s Den? Do you mean Lion’s Den and TABC definitely doesn’t exist anymore. Literally this whole blog is riddled with typos and shitty jokes.

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  73. Mark says:

    Why are you trying to write? This is a total mess filled with errors that would be obvious to a 10th grader. These aren’t those intentional ‘pun’ errors either. They’re just really, really stupid mistakes.

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