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By The Betches on

Rihanna has already been Betch of the Week but there are way more weeks than just one that she's been deserving of the title. What better way to honor that her round-the-clock betchiness than by granting her the coveted position of Betch of the Year. Rihanna has the fucking midas touch…everything she touches turns to gold, including Chris Brown’s fucking hair. Diamonds in the Sky has been #1 on the charts in like a billion countries and is totally changing the world our pregames, so let's all pop some Adderall and turn our attention to her betchy-as-fuck year.

RiRi is so badass and beloved that she can get away with anything. Let’s take the Chris Brown sitch, for example: even though he beat the shit out of her, she’s still “crazy in love” and hey, even though we all know this will end horribly, we're very into watching the trainwreck that will take place when Rihanna inevitably wakes Chris up after he specifically told everyone not to. 

Loving RiRi means following her on instagram. You don't have to be part of her psycho RihannaNavy who likes/comments/shares every pic she posts including screen shots of her bible studies lessons, but you can still laugh at her pics of her long nails with a caption of "#phuckyomanicure" or a picture of her niece captioned "#dankassnigga." You might even pick up some of her lingo, like saying PH instead of F, and things like "rihpost" and "historih." Oh and we occasionally enjoy speaking in her Barbados accent. Yo mon, it be raining, get unda my umbrella, ella, ella.

In more recent news, RiRi basically stole the show at the VS Fashion show. Like, honestly, who cares about Adriana's baby weight or the fact that we had no idea who the fuck the Asian model was when Rihanna is on the catwalk? Her new album, Unapologetic, is psycho and betches love it more than we love sharing meals with the garbage. Plus, we needed some new jams at Soul Cycle.

But let’s take a moment to appreciate what Rihanna has done throughout this year. She landed herself on Time Magazine’s Most Influential People in the World (LOL), and she wowed betches with her genuine soul and beyond-her-years wisdom when she was interviewed on “Oprah’s Next Chapter” where she and Opz straight chilled in Barbados.

Rihanna’s super exclusive 777 Tour was more ridiculous than having your mom send you joints at sleepaway camp. Betch performed in like seven countries in seven days. Even though we didn’t know what went on aboard Airbus Rihanna, we heard she poured champagne for the whole 150 person media crew on the first day and then disappeared for the rest. She may have even left one or two of them in Mexico City. But who cares? She's BadgalRiRi.

And finally, in her free time, RiRi likes to light up like, all the time. Seriously, her Instagram/Twitter indicates that she’s completely high all hours of the day, which explains why she’s such a fucking genius. #phuckyobetchoftheyear

25 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. whatever says:

    Of the year?! Rihanna is the worst

    Posted on Reply
    • are says:

      you dumb?

      Posted on Reply
  2. szbetch says:

    fuck off, rihanna is the absolute best

    Posted on Reply
  3. ki4jrfn says:

    rihanna is a DISGUSTING fat trashy stupid pathetic hooker who probably has herpes. absolutely nobody likes her besides you guys idk what you’re talking about everyone else finds it pathetic that a grown ass woman would go back to the hideous piece of trash that is chris brown. she’s not a battered woman who has nowhere to go - it’s only a moron like her that would go back to somebody who beat her. she is such a loser, tried to hook up with calvin harris and he didn’t go for it

    Posted on Reply
  4. Kbetch says:

    Sorry betches but you misjudged. The Betch of the Year would never let some piece of shit douche bag beat her mercilessly then get back with him. Rihanna isn’t a betch, she’s pathetic. #disappointed

    Posted on Reply
    • allig says:

      fuck yeah man, you said it perfectly. while it’s pretty legit that she’s open about smoking weed and her love of hookers, anyone who is willing to take back someone who beat her and was openly seeing some blasian on the side is fucking pathetic.

      Posted on Reply
  5. Cait says:

    She parties all the time and still looks hot and is sucessfull. Hence perfect choice.

    Posted on Reply
  6. ew says:

    Rihanna sucks.

    Posted on Reply
  7. yawn says:

    rihanna is complete trash

    Posted on Reply
  8. anon says:

    What Rihanna taught me this year: If you get beat up by your celebrity boyfriend, what you should do is get back together with him and release an album telling the motherfucking world that “it ain’t nobody’s business”

    ugh you betches are better than this shit

    Posted on Reply
  9. haaa says:

    This is SO appropriate. Of COURSE the betch of the year is some trashy, naive piece of hooker trash who can’t get over her last boyfriend even though he treats her like shit. Makes a whole lot more sense now that this is who you look up to.

    Posted on Reply
  10. get over it says:

    Rihanna is living the dream. Making millions basically not doing work, traveling with her best friends, & smoking weed. The Chris brown sitch is embarrassing butttt shes still betchy af

    Posted on Reply
  11. BADGALRIRI says:

    Fucking love rihanna. OBSESSED with her instagram pics she’s so cray I’m in love with it.
    Also she’s mad talented, has a banging body and she’s pretty much high…..all the time.
    The breezy incident just makes her more real. So much love for this girl!

    Posted on Reply
  12. ew says:

    effing hate rihanna

    Posted on Reply
  13. PHUCKyobetch says:

    Just wrote the greatest comment ever but my dumbfuck phone erased it so PHUCK all you hoes.

    Posted on Reply
  14. kellycohen21 says:

    if you have the courage to say rihanna is fat youre fucking anorexic trash. Rihanna is a top notch bitch. to another single and album number one in the US and going toe to toe with every single victorias secret model at the show just shows how rihanna IS the bitch of the year. and for you dumbasses saying you hate IM SURE you sing shine bright like a diamond every time you turn the radio on.

    Posted on Reply
  15. LizzyBennet says:

    My guess is that Riri and Chrs Brown were both high AF when that whole debacle went down. Maybe she had her revenge and just learned not to publicize it. Let’s not make assumptions, betches.

    Rihanna does her own fv<kin thing: the betchiest lifestyle there is. All who disagree are probably sheltered, Southern, wanna-be, bigot bitches who need to have their cotton, multi-pack, fruit-of-the-loom thongs yanked so far up their unwaxed asscracks that their delusional, needle-dicked, antipro boyfriends will need more than a little K-Y to sneak it in those blistered backdoors.

    Posted on Reply
  16. spimoney says:

    I used to love Rihanna. Now I’ve come to realize she is a pathetic trashbag.  I’m just sitting back, eating my rice cakes and waiting for her to self distruct. Whitney part 2

    Posted on Reply
  17. Dope betch says:

    Rihanna is a bad betch and deserves betch of the year more than any other. She’s phucking unstoppable. If I ever got the chance to meet her I’d instantly spark a blunt and take a picture for instagram.
    Great pick Betches.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Lauren says:

    Wait, amazing blog but why didnt you mention Gran Gran Dolly?

    Posted on Reply
  19. ayjay03 says:

    To all the haters: Yeah Rihanna isn’t the Virgin Mary, she is a real person. How do you think people would portray you if you were constantly having your life on blast 24/7? Everything you do, wrong or right is criticized. Personally, I think she’s awesome. I don’t even smoke or drink that much, but I love the fact that she’s not afraid to be herself and she doesn’t give a SHIT about what anyone else thinks. Chris Brown and her were young, everyone makes mistakes. I wouldn’t have taken him back, but you don’t know the situation and have no right to judge. SO HOP OFF. She’s had more success and is more gorgeous than any of you will ever be, so shut up and get off the site if all your’e gonna do is whine and bitch about RiRi.

    Posted on Reply
  20. BrownieBitch says:

    Honestly, this is how West Indian bitches do their thing ..culturally speaking, we smoke when we want, we drink with our fam and their is always music and good food in the background .. it’s a brown girl life. PLUS the fact that carribean women have strong, curvy bodies and a mix of exotic features to boot’s just where it’s at, holla.

    Posted on Reply
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