Tracker Pixel for Entry
By The Betches on

Betches, today we honor someone who won really big this week without even competing. It may be her second time as First Lady but that hardly matters since it's only her first time as betch of the week and we all know which is more exclusive.

Much like our favorite carpal tunnel victim Principal Duvall, Michy O peaced from the South Side in favor of like, going to college. Girls, I'm going to Harvard! After a few unbetchy years of doing #36 work and having a husband whose job was to help poor people without even being president, Michelle had had enough. How was America going to survive without a first lady to teach them the fashion tips and #5 skinny arms they need to survive in this world? And that's how Barack's campaign started.

Ever since Michelle's proven herself as a betchy mom and the tannest first lady to occupy the whitest house imaginable. At the forefront of the hating fat people movement, Michelle knows the secret to staying thin is being rich enough to buy organic food and an Equinox membership. But more importantly it's clear to us that when she's not working 2-hour days, she's the one running shit around the house, clearly #80 bitching at Barry that if he works past 5 she #8 won't fuck him and if he doesn't like that he should've fixed the Benghazi sitch faster, fucking duh.

So Michelle, congrats on not having to move out of the mansion this week because with that whole new wardrobe we're sure packing would blow. We totes admire you but more importantly your Vogue spread. Here's to four more years of flying private.

56 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. PoliSci Betch says:

    Disappointed in this post, betches. Michelle is nothing but a TTH nice girl and anyone with a brain can see that her husband is ruining this country with his left wing socialist agenda. Obamacare is about to change this country to the point of no return, like I know you don’t care about politics but this isn’t rocket science.

    Posted on Reply
    • SPOT ON says:

      Cheers to not being an uneducated, ignorant, band-wagon jumper.

      Posted on Reply
    • Oh plz says:

      If this country is going downward spiral, it’s because people like you existed. Don’t joke yourself with ‘polisci’ or ‘betch’, you are related to neither of them.

      Posted on Reply
    • Annoyed. says:

      Completely agree. The fact that she’s even married to him should completely disqualify her from even being considered for this title.

      And as if we didn’t already have enough political bs being spewed from fb and every other form of media…

      Posted on Reply
    • Ha.... says:

      Like seriously where did you go to school? I doubt you can even define socialism without googling it. 

      Best of luck getting a job with your “PoliSci” degree from your state school. 

      Maybe Michelle can give you some tips on grad school applications.

      Posted on Reply
    • hahahaha says:

      this comment is so dumb that i can’t even. so sick of all the “obama’s a socialist!!111/1!11” comments, get the fuck over yourself

      Posted on Reply
    • hahahah says:

      polisci bitch probably gets here information from Faux News

      Posted on Reply
    • betchin says:

      umm okay no. Real betches are usually JABs or Northeast WASBs, and therefore don’t vote Republican, ew.

      Posted on Reply
      • CT WASB says:

        WASPs are (typically) Republican you fucking moron

        Posted on Reply
        • uhh not true says:

          WASPs make up the liberal elite

          Posted on Reply
        • ...what says:

          CT is one of the bluest and most definitively waspy states, you dumbass. Especially Fairfield County.

          Posted on Reply
    • cat says:

      why don’t you strap a dog to your roof and drive to canada YA IDIOT

      Posted on Reply
      • Socialist Betch says:

        wealthy people in canada pay almost 50% of our income in taxes, and we don’t complain and yell ‘comunist’ anytime a black guy walks by. like get over it, we have a royal family and you have the kardashians so please go shave your back in the shape of republican elephant.

        Posted on Reply
    • educated betch says:

      Educate yourself you fucking moron “polisci betch”. Obama’s policies have been far closer to that of a moderate republican than that of a democrat, let alone a fucking socialist. He started his presidency with bailouts just like, oh wait, George W. Bush. Oh and a third of his stimulus was in tax cuts and he practiced borrowing. Just like republicans! And just like Bush being ridiculed for his troop surge in Iraq, Obama initiated a troop surge in Afghanistan. He even escalated the drone program and reneged his promise to close down Guantanamo. So before you go calling someone a fucking socialist you might want to educate yourself, you stupid fucking bitch.

      Posted on Reply
      • clapping says:

        Finally someone who can sound educated and not like a total loser! And I didn’t even vote for Obama!

        Posted on Reply
    • Boston JAB says:

      This post is so disappointing. Everyone knows that Dems aren’t betchy because they want to redistribute the wealth, fucking duh. Last time I checked, betches were not in favor of giving up our privileges for the poor.

      Posted on Reply
  2. P says:

    Michelle is an icon. Good work, betches.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Ann Coulter says:

    ugh agreed with everything PoliSci Betch said except that Michelle is a nice girl.  She seems pretty calculating to me.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Are you kidding.. says:

    PoliSci Betch..spot on.  I don’t know why betcheslovethis doesnt shy away from obama’s shady as fuck political agenda.  Republican is the go-to party for real betches who don’t want all their shit to be taken away from them and who actually understand the economy..not liberal idealist bull.  plus michelle obama is not cute and therefore disqualified as a betch of the week.  So disappointed with this pick.  Step your game up, betches.

    Posted on Reply
    • Tan Betch says:

      stop replying to your own comments PoliSci Betch.

      Posted on Reply
      • OMG says:

        Dying, so obvious

        Posted on Reply
  5. this girls awesome says:

    nice work betches. michelle = total betch. she doesnt give a fuck about anything except working out, pretending to eat, and being a fashion icon. so basically shes fucking awesome. wish the post had been longer though

    Posted on Reply
    • michelle is fat says:

      pretending to eat? michelle is at least 20 lbs over weight… don’t let her toned arms fool you because those are probably hereditary. anyone with an ass that large needs to stop eating immediately.

      Posted on Reply
      • You're a jackass says:

        Umm…sometimes betches as tan as Michelle can’t help what we’re working with. That’s what’s more likely to be hereditary. So you can sit your concave ass down and go shave your lanugo now.

        Posted on Reply
        • anon says:

          Literally laughed out loud at “shave your lanugo now”. But it’s true, Michelle is def overweight.

          Posted on Reply
  6. PoliSci betch's options for relocation... says:

    Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Iran….

    some of the ONLY nations in the world more conservative than the US. good luck making louboutins work on a cobblestone street! jk you definitely don’t have any.

    also, don’t even tryyyyy suggesting that you’ll move to canada or australia. they’re SUPES liberal fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
    • ugh says:

      Oh whatever you uninformed douche. We are all sure you got your louboutins with your SNAP card. You can go shave your back now.

      Posted on Reply
    • JAB says:

      Israel is a socialist democracy that offers free healthcare to all of its citizens. You’re legit dumb.

      Posted on Reply
  7. Orangebetch says:

    Umm whatever with the post but Michelle went to Princeton- legally blonde aside

    Posted on Reply
    • Betches says:

      She went to Harvard Law.  Like Elle Woods.

      Posted on Reply
    • ... says:

      She went to Princeton for undergrad, Harvard for law school

      Posted on Reply
      • orangebetch says:

        ahh got it. just had to rep the alumni when I get the chance

        Posted on Reply
  8. LaneyLish says:

    HA.  “the forefrunt of hating fat people movement”. like my mom said, all michelle obama does is whip fat kids into shape every once in a while.  really great post.

    Posted on Reply
  9. I literally can't... says:

    like seriously don’t insult the First Lady, that’s rude and bitchy and unpatriotic. You so obviously don’t have the slightest clue as to what Socialism is if you think President Obama is a Socialist. You sound uneducated and just another Conservative hopping on the Anti-Obama wagon because Daddy doesn’t want to get taxed more; that’s not betchy. Some of our parents are wealthy and don’t mind being taxed more because there are bigger issues than what nail color to get at the salon idiots. There are children going hungry and without proper medical care in America and public schools that barely teach the basics, get your head out of your uneducated asses and look around.

    Posted on Reply
    • so true says:

      agree with everything you said

      Posted on Reply
      • umwhat says:

        There is no bigger issue to me right now than what nail color to get next.

        Posted on Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    You should call her bitch of the week.  Everyone in DC knows she’s an enormous one.  I’ve heard that the people who work in the white house hate her.  Poor michelle, can’t seem to get it through her head that the sad people of this country elected her husband not her.a

    Posted on Reply
  11. S says:

    We need a smart phone app betches!

    Posted on Reply
  12. S says:

    lol I love how they said tan instead of black…not really the same thing but whatever

    Posted on Reply
  13. Fuckingduh says:

    This post has NOTHING to do with politics or Obama at ALL. Michelle is an icon, truly a betch at heart. Stop using betcheslovethis as a forum for your disgusting political opinions. There’s like, yahoo or facebook for that.

    Posted on Reply
    • YES says:

      Ok she’s had two specials in Vogue, doesn’t matter what B does in the white house.  This post didn’t say ANYTHING about being democratic, just that Mich hates fat people and is toned, and that’s betchy.

      Posted on Reply
  14. PoliSci Betch says:

    hahahahah its so funny how ignorant some of these bitches are. like you immediately assume im a republican and its like, so uncool because MTV says so. of course you know nothing about my actual political beliefs besides the fact that I said obama sucks. there are perfectly admirable things on the liberal/left agenda such as gay marriage, women’s rights, education, and the like, however his fiscal policies will ruin this country to the point of no return, and if you don’t think so then you need to get your head out of your liberal NYC economics professors ass and look at the facts. and lets not even start blaming bush for this because the fact of the matter is that obama ran on a campaign of “hope and change” and promised to cut the deficit in half by the end of his first term, however he was completely unprepared and lacked any experience proving that he could do so. the fact that we are know 15+ trillion in debt and counting with more people than ever before on welfare, food stamps, and other entitlement programs shows that he is ruining our country. This isnt about not cutting rich people’s taxes, of course the more wealthy should pay more but the government should focus on creating jobs and helping people make their own money rather than paying for everything for them. WAKE THE F UP PEOPLE

    Posted on Reply
    • Actual PoliSci Betch says:

      So cute are you like mad or something? Oh right you must be because you are still bitching about Barack Obama on a thread about MICHELLE Obama. But it looks like your community college education didn’t teach you much because any real PoliSci betch would know that no person (Bush, Obama) can really do that much about the economy, but if you asked any educated economist they would be able to tell you that Barack’s economic plan is much practical, Romney’s was a joke and it is no surprise he didn’t win this election. But was this article about BOs financial plan? Nope, it’s about Michelle Obama who is definitely a betch so gtfo
      (ps it’s hard to take you seriously when you use phrases like “to the point of no return” did you not learn about checks and balances? haha)

      Posted on Reply
      • love it says:

        thank you actual polisci betch! seriously I’m still not sure what Romney’s tax plan was but regardless “polisci betch” needs to take a xanax and relax like you shouldn’t be posting your political opinions and not expect people to jump down your throat, you asked for it idiot.

        Posted on Reply
    • right... says:

      Nobody’s saying you’re a republican or uncool, we’re saying you’re fucking retarded. Please stop talking.

      Posted on Reply
  15. seriously? says:

    Why is everyone bitching about Barack’s policies? HE’S not betch of the week, and therefore shouldn’t be the focus of the entire comments section.

    Posted on Reply
  16. ally says:

    this whole thing is exhausting.

    Posted on Reply
  17. Michelle is perfect. says:

    She is smart, pretty, bad-ass, married to a hot pro, and has the fashion world at her feet.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Ew no says:

    She’s classless and scary looking.

    Posted on Reply
    • LOL says:

      I literally just LOL’d. it cracks me up when people call her “beautiful,” like…..what?

      Posted on Reply
    • yeah fucking right says:

      michelle obama is the epitome of class. sorry she’s not white.

      Posted on Reply
  19. Yikes says:

    Reading all of those comments was exhausting. One thing’s for sure though- if Mitt had won, the same post could never have been written about Ann- that is one haggard, mall-trash woman

    Posted on Reply
  20. says:

    How timely. You do realize they are separating??

    Posted on Reply
Post your comment: