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By The Betches on

As you all know because we never STFU about it, our really amazing book is coming out on March 12th, but since we can't fucking wait and we want you to soak up our awesomeness ASAFP, we're releasing an excerpt for you. It's from the chapter entitled....Sex.

The Theorem: Not Having Sex with Bros (Sometimes)

While men are allowed to approach sex mindlessly and are praised for the amount of meaningless sex they have, women are led to think that giving into their sexual desires without question will leave them pathetic, alone, and with the reputation of the village bicycle. Sad as we are to admit it, people who idolize Tucker Max and Charlie Sheen are correct about this double standard. But if you’re smart, you can manipulate this unfortunate truth to your advantage.

If the biology tutor our parents hired in high school taught us anything worth remembering, it was that no matter the species, males are always looking to spread their seed to as many hot women as possible. Women, on the other hand, are supposed to be more selective. Who is going to show up to my cousin’s wedding with me, make all of my friends jealous, and make a great father to my future kids? And who’s going to want to be the one to invest an entire life of resources and time to make sure this child not only survives but also gets into Dalton?

Lesson learned: If you’re screwing a poor bartender/actor on the first date for the sake of getting laid, you’re really just fucking yourself. This guy will not have any of the durable attributes—wealth, stability, and status—that are integral to the survival of your superior genetic code. The facts don’t lie, and neither do we.

It may seem counterintuitive that the most desirable betches are the ones who also deny bros the most often. It’s important to realize that it’s not just appearance that men find attractive, but also how selective you are with your sexual partners. Ever heard a bro’s boring story about his hunting trip? Did any of these stories end up with him saying, “Yeah, that deer just ran into a tree and I picked it up and felt like the man.” No, that would make him feel like shit because killing that deer was easy, and who the fuck places value on things that are easy?

The fun is in the chase. Even when the bro finally kills the extraordinarily elusive deer, he still treasures it because he knows that he worked hard for it. It would have been really difficult, if not impossible, for anyone else to do it. Thus you hold a secret that no bro will tell you, but every bro knows: He wants to feel special. He wants to feel like you’ll do shit for him that you wouldn’t do for others. And that is why men crave women who project self-respect and self-control, and who are particular about what they put in their body and with whom they spend their time. If a bro knows that you’d just as easily hook up with his short, chubby, B-team friend as you would with him, you’re very quickly putting yourself in a bad place. You can be sure he has no interest in putting his dick in the same place as a second-tier bro.

Having sex with you is a prize for which bros should work. If you’re giving away the music for free, no one’s going to buy the album. It happened with Napster, it will happen to you. Being a strong, independent, and powerful betch is about understanding this fact and using it to dominate in a world where men believe they have the upper hand.

So next time you find yourself having sex with a guy you just met at a bar or on the first date, realize that the only shots he’ll be getting you from now on are the kind that are about to come out of his penis.


So betches, start PREORDERING! You can order from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million, Indie Bound...and some other places too, just fucking google it.

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23 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Your Name says:

    ... ‘extraordinarily elusive deer’? adjectives to fill in your 20 page book much?

    Posted on Reply
  2. hahahah says:

    This is great I’m obsessed. Buying now.

    Posted on Reply
  3. YES says:

    LOL Napster. Perfect, can’t wait to read.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Jen says:

    HOLY SHIT I NEED MORE

    Posted on Reply
  5. CRAP. says:

    I already ordered my book like two weeks ago

    Posted on Reply
    • The Betches says:

      If you email us the screenshot of your confirmation email we can still send you the excerpt

      Posted on Reply
  6. umm says:

    Women have needs too. This makes it sound like only guys want to have sex. What is a girl supposed to do if she just feels like having sex?

    Posted on Reply
    • getabf says:

      um get a boyfriend. Once you have one you can sleep with him whenever you feel like it.

      Posted on Reply
    • Alex says:

      EXACTLY. Because apparently us women don’t like to have sex. I wonder if this woman realizes how much her thinking is influenced by the Bible…

      Posted on Reply
  7. History says:

    Great bit about Anne Boleyn but, although she manipulated Henry, she didn’t wait till the wedding night - she was visibly pregnant when he finally got around to marrying her!

    Posted on Reply
  8. STFU says:

    Oh right. It’s great to have a nice girl around to fill us in on that history class we skipped so we could catch up on some online shopping.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Alexandra says:

    Aww, another writer telling women to hold out to get the boys. Because girls, we’re different. We have to control ourselves to get what we want, because men, well they’re just dumb animals who mindlessly walk the face of the earth with no desire but to ejaculate into everything. We have to train them or else we’ll end up old and alone forever.

    Betch please, you sound like that ass who wrote The Rules. She got divorced even though she said that was impossible for women like her, who held out. Not surprisingly, her husband divorced her because she was controlling and insane.

    Stop telling people to “hold back.” There is nothing wrong with fucking the musician/bartender if that’s what you want. And holding out for guys who make money? Ain’t finance boys the most squeezy of all?

    Might I also mention that a real strong woman doesn’t need to date a man according to how much money he makes.

    Leave your antiquated notions of gender at home. And if you believe these double standards are antiquated, don’t encourage people to make do with what they have, tell them to break that shit the fuck down.

    Have a nice day.

    Posted on Reply
  10. lindsay says:

    alexandra, take a zan

    Posted on Reply
  11. ugh says:

    you dumb bitches, this says nothing about women not liking sex or not wanting to have sex. of course we fucking like sex, sex is awesome. what’s not awesome is having sex too soon with someone who doesn’t give a fuck about you. feel like having an orgasm but don’t have a trustworthy partner who you like and likes you back and wants to have sex WITH YOU not just HAVE SEX? GET A FUCKING VIBRATORRR, don’t just sleep with the next possibly diseased penis you find.

    girls are so dumb.

    Posted on Reply
  12. Blondie says:

    I’m a huge fan of this blog. However, I’m not of this excerpt. This to me sounds like a very old way of thinking. My girlfriends and I are amazing successful women who like to have sex. What’s wrong with having sex with the hot bartender? Would it be fun? Yes. Do I want to date him. No. And for those of claiming that women like us are just going around looking for the next diseased penis…I have something to share with. A. We have standards just like you do. We just have sex when we want to. There’s no reason to wait. I’m not 18…I’m 30. B. They have this incredible invention called condoms. This then leads to safe sex. And frankly I don’t understand all this talk about the “hunt” and you having a reputation. Perhaps it’s b/c I live in a big city but nobody knows who I sleep with. The lawyer that I do go on a date with doesn’t know the hot bartender. This article just seems very high school politics. I’m disappointed.

    Posted on Reply
    • M says:

      It’s about self-respect. There’s a genetic reason that the betches already explained as to why men pursue sex and women need to be more selective. Besides, rumors get around regarding which girls are easy. If you really want sex get a long term boyfriend. There is nothing betchy about those “slut walks” or the sort of culture it promotes. Fuck pros, but only sometimes.

      Posted on Reply
  13. casual sex rules says:

    We, as women can argue that we have needs, and that times have changed which makes it okay for us to have casual sex. However..

    bottom line is that the view society has on sex may have changed (to a certain extent), but nobody’s feelings have changed. Even though society may accept causal sex, it’s not as if social roles have changed. Men want sex and women are the ones who want commitment. Women only have sex without commitment for two reasons: #1 they’re drunk or #2 they want something.
    (If you’re reading this and disagree, you’re shitting your self. If you’re having sex just because you want to don’t kid yourself into thinking you don’t want commitment) Also, it’s not as if men accept an easy women anymore.

    If anything, the fact that society has accepted women to have casual sex has just fueled a mans desires; they can have sex without commitment and can find someone to have it with without much effort. Men, especially young men, generally don’t commit unless they have to. If commitment if what it takes for sex, guys usually end up taking it. Now, there are so many girls who are willing to have sex without commitment that guys really don’t need to commit. some of you may disagree and claim that women can have sex without the desire for further commitment…which can be true in rare events. if that is the case refer to rule #1 (you wanted to have sex because u were drunk)

    what girl wants to have sex with a guy HOPE he talks to you…not me! once you have casual sex with a guy he essentially is in control, unless you want to look like a desperate sloooot.

     

    Posted on Reply
  14. Ivy says:

    Fabulous! Can’t wait to read it. The only thing that could make it better was if we could also get the doomed-to-be-old-and-alone “it’s the 21st century” and “chicks like sex too” commentaries with the actual book.

    Posted on Reply
  15. Pros only says:

    Why should we be men’s puppets? When I want sex, they can be my toy.  I call the shots on who i want to have sex with and when. I still get the top respect. And no, i don’t want to waste hunting season dwelling on one dear. The key is showing them you dont need them and the first one to shape up gets you for good. That’s self respect and playing the field. Fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
  16. Dre says:

    Question to betches: K, so we can’t have sex with every bro, I wholeheartedly agree with that. BUT, if we just keep hooking up (w/no sex), is that fine? And what if the bro keeps expecting sex? How should I approach that situation? Just be like “oops, maybe next time?” ..

    xxoxo,
    Feel Bad for the Bros

    Posted on Reply
  17. Lauren says:

    I think this chapter is geared more towards college women who actually have a reputation to uphold because word travels and reputations are built. That being said I agree that if you are trying to build yourself a good reputation in college then you should be more selective. On the other hand, if you’re a successful 30 year old betch, fuck whoever you want because some random guy in New York won’t know that you slept with a bunch of other random guys.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Super Betch says:

    Nice try “betches”. Your just a bunch of shadowy right-wing propagandistic male goons-for-hire sitting up there in your Joesph Goebbels bunker in Washington D.C using like, you know, hot teenage slang and four letter words to masquerade as snappy “female empowered” cunts to indoctrinate and brainwash fucking consumerist idiots into fascist sentiment, casual cruelty, and Orwellian-style sexual repression.


    Fucking DUH, is right.

    Posted on Reply
  19. Son of a Betch says:

    “If you give away the music, no one will want to buy the album”.....If your stupid enough to buy into what this sight is selling, your mind is anything but free.

    Posted on Reply
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