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This week the news has been slow as shit unless you count news about the President's inauguration and like, we all know that shit's a snoozefest. To make your day a little less shitty here's some slightly better than dec shit we found on the internet this week.

• Check out the old cast members from Saved by the Bell. In a really fucking surprising twist of events, Mario Lopez is the most famous of the bunch. Unless you count that show that Zach Morris stars on that no one watches. 

• Today on Buzzfeed here's thirteen reasons why nice guys are the worst. As if we needed more reasons to hate them.

• Maybe I'm really behind on the times, but my mind is blown that Mandy Patinkin is Inigo Montoya. This is the most exciting shit since Mike from Homeland was revealed as Shane Oman. Here's that and some more interesting facts about Saul from Homeland.

• This week, the Onion speculates what Malia's lunchbox would look like after her mom packed it while hungover after the inauguration. This shit looks pretty good.

• Here's a list of famous people who don't drink so you can stop being their fans and join their hate clubs.

• In case you were wondering about the reason Michelle Obama rolled her eyes at John Boehner (Side note: Who?) here's the reason and it involves cigs.

• Following Lance Armstrong unshocking confession that he doped up for the Tour de France (What? Like it's hard?) here's a list of 12 more people who Oprah have gotten to stroll down memory lane to reveal their icky secrets.