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By The Betches on

Lucy Liu. The psycho from the Social Network. Lily Pritchett. Lloyd from Entourage. Fook Mi and Fook Yu.

What do all these people have in common? They’re hot Asian betches, obvi. Now betches, as we’ve said before, betchiness is not about creed, color, or religion. It’s a lifestyle, it's a state of mind, it's a body type.

To be clear, we're not talking about the crazy Asians who huddle together in our apartment elevator, probably talking shit about us in their native tongue before cruising off in their BMWs. No, it’s time to pay homage to that girl in many bestie circles who adds both diversity and the possibility of homemade #72 sushi to a typical group dinner. Whether you merely know of her existence or consider her your BFF, she's the Token Asian Betch (TAB), aka "that hot Asian girl."

lucy liuCrouching Tiger Hidden Asian

The vast majority of the time, the TAB is the only Asian in the bestie group, and you better fucking believe she likes it that way. The TAB appreciates her role and doesn't need another one around making it harder for white bros to tell the difference between them. The TAB stands out from the group because of her Asian flush at pregames, extremely tiny bone structure, and high SAT scores. Almost all of her friends are white and she really only dates white guys. These smart pros usually have penises on the smaller side though, as Asian girls are rumored to not just have tiny waist lines, but tiny vaginas as well.

The TAB is always a hot betch, but she's totally okay with the lack of famous female Asians in pop culture since she's unaware of what she's missing...because she was never allowed to watch TV anyway. However she can make those origami cranes and do her nails faster than anyone else you know.

But be careful betches, even if you have a TAB in your group, there's still no guarantee that you'll be sure if she's Japanese, Chinese, Korean, whatever. God forbid she's one of the many other ones that you have no idea about. Try to find out before meeting her parents and publicizing to them how much you "OMG, lovee going to Tao" in an effort to relate. The TAB's parents are often FOB business moguls that she's embarrassed of, or Jewish lesbians from the Upper East Side. And unfortunately, she'll be plagued for life by her parents' urges to stop #42 dressing like a slut and become a doctor or attend MIT.

harry potter"Just because I'm Asian doesn't mean you can throw me in the ocean and expect me to find imitation crab meat"

But despite her parents' strict rules and high expectations, the TAB is usually either a complete #7 BSCB who parties really hard while fucking any bro she can, or the kind who never puts out and dates Wall Street pros. But while many bros will tell you that they've fucked or dated an Asian betch, few betches will say they have a thing for the William Hung look.

[Though white betches don’t date fully Asian guys, hooking up with the half-white-European-half-Asian is kind of like going sake bombing at a trendy new restaurant. Exotic and intoxicating.]

In the end, we love the Token Asian Betch because when they're not sleeping in the library, they're usually tearing shit up at a club or in the waxing room. Asian betches bring that special flavor to the bestie group, they're like the sweet-and-sour sauce to our steamed chicken and broccoli. To any Asian betch who's offended by this, we apologize. Don't worry, we're saying you're betchy, which is the ultimate compliment. However, if you're still offended, maybe you can teach us how to play a sad song on the world's smallest violin.

 

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187 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Anonymous says:

    SO FUCKING TRUE! Obsessed.

    Posted on Reply
  2. La Femme says:

    fact. i would never date an asian guy.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Anonymous says:

    my blunt went out because i was dying laughing for so long from that last paragraph, i fuckin love this site

    Posted on Reply
  4. Batlove says:

    One of my bestie"s is totes tab bscb. This describes her perfect betchyness!

    Posted on Reply
  5. ultimate token azn betch. says:

    LOLLL obvss u betches are smart and know that hot asian betches are the new thing. Obvs white betches are always in, and TAB’s have pathetic hot #pros whipped by them, can legit eat anything but still stay tinyyy, and when we get #realhousewives age we still look like we’re 25.  Love ya betches xo

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    i mean…it is true. but may have crossed the line somewhere. not that i don’t think it’s funny, but expect this one to attract a bunch of complaining hippies in the comments.

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    I can’t think of one quality of Llloyd’s that makes him a Betch? Otherwise dead on post!

    Posted on Reply
  8. Me says:

    Lloyd isn’t betchy

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    truth! asian betches won’t need botox until long after the white ones start getting it.

    Posted on Reply
  10. asian male says:

    i will agree that a large portion of the stereotypes you listed in your blog stand true to myself as well, but the one part i disagree with you on is the part about asian dudes not getting any pussy.

    the reason why most of the girls I’ve gotten with tell me they don’t like asian guys is because they believe that they aren’t sexual. this perception only exists because media affects our perception of reality so much. when bruce lee came out with those kung fu movies you better bet asian guys were getting more pussy than usual.

    born in america raised by koreans in NYC and get with white, spanish, black, brown, yellow, purple, whatever the color you wanna call it…

    funny thing is, most girls i hook up with tell me I’m their first “asian”, i lie and tell them that their my first e.g. “white” girl as well.

    u get my point…

    Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    Lily Pritchett is definitely the best TAB. Especially in that episode where she kept hitting other babies. And you can guarantee she will grow up to be the hottest betch in school because her gay dads will make sure she looks great 100% of the time.

    Posted on Reply
  12. A white Girl says:

    Boys read this site?
    Not only that, you cared enough to comment!
    True asian keener lol

    Posted on Reply
  13. Anonymous says:

    HAHAHAHA <3 loves

    Posted on Reply
  14. Anonymous says:

    Asian guys love complaining about not getting TABs.

    Posted on Reply
  15. mygoodness says:

    Sooo true, I’m chinese and I know how I feeel! Thank goodness someone has put it out there. I do not date asian guys. Only white ones.. or mexicans. Haha!

    Posted on Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    Omfg dying. The betches have been on a roll.

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    Cool Story Bro.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Anonymous says:

    couldn’t say it better myself

    Posted on Reply
  19. Anonymous says:

    sorry, asian boys are ugly.

    - asian girl

    Posted on Reply
  20. Anonymous says:

    #fugly.

    xoxo,
    The ultimate TAB

    Posted on Reply
  21. Anonymous says:

    TABs always get hot, rich Pros. #Winning

    Posted on Reply
  22. Anonymous says:

    hahahahha love ya asian betch. but yes, no asian guy is hot, and mr. chang from the hangover didn’t really help the penis stereotype soo… i am never gonna hook up with an asian. i like my men like i like my bread…. white (jk lolzzz i don’t eat, got ya!)

    Posted on Reply
  23. Sylvie says:

    from a betch with a totes kick ass TAB BBF! we have been waiting to read this since you announced!!!! LOVE THIS SHIT !LOL
    WELCOME BACK BETCHES!!

    Posted on Reply
  24. Anonymous says:

    How about a piece on the JAP betch?

    Posted on Reply
  25. Anonymous says:

    Dont forget about the similarly related but not quite the same Indian betch.

    Posted on Reply
  26. are you kidding? says:

    hahahaha this whole post has got to be a joke. I’m sorry, i just don’t get the Asian trend….since when is you’re doing your own nails and wax job betchy? Just no. Being white is awesome and everyone knows it.

    Betches don’t love this…

    Posted on Reply
    • Mia says:

      Umm ok racist-betch get off this site if you dont like crouching tiger hidden asians. Go back to your juggalo people you white supremacist!!

      Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    Looks like someone’s a sad panda because he can’t get the white girls…

    Posted on Reply
  28. Anonymous says:

    laughed out loud at this comment you go betch, you go

    Posted on Reply
  29. aniluap says:

    lol totally agree!

    Posted on Reply
  30. Anonymous says:

    YESSSSS #scarsdalebetch

    Posted on Reply
  31. Jen-Jen says:

    We co-invented betchery with our WASP bffs. We don’t need a “token post.” Sushi with my girls anyone?

    Posted on Reply
  32. noooo says:

    asian bitch at school totally ruined this post for me. hooked up with my boyfriend and i’m still not over it. and no, i’m not the fucking psycho from the Dear Betch post.

    Posted on Reply
  33. Anonymous says:

    what in the world….
    asian guys are smokinnnn


    buff and sexy not your type?


    what about this one?


    sure they have william hung but we have some fugly-ass white ppl too…

    Posted on Reply
  34. awesome says:

    Yesss so much love for my asian betches.  Bananas forever!

    Posted on Reply
  35. Anonymous says:

    time for the TBB (token black betch obvs)

    Posted on Reply
  36. Anonymous says:

    Next Post, TBB!

    Posted on Reply
  37. LuvsYouBetch says:

    LOVE this and is totally true! Love my bestie Asian.

    Posted on Reply
  38. TOKENASIANbetch! says:

    you guys are the ultimate. thank-you summing me up in a couple of paragraphs.
    love you betches for life.

    Posted on Reply
  39. Queen TAB says:

    But then they take their pants off. Sorry I’m not sorry, but the stereotype holds true, at least for the Asian guys that I have dated. Sticking with my white meat for now. xoxo.

    Posted on Reply
  40. Anonymous says:

    ^fugly wannabe betch. true betches are not white supremacists. I’m white and totally love my tab.
    sorry bitch, but you are unworthy of even reading this site.

    Posted on Reply
  41. Anonymous says:

    i heart the tbb!
    the ones that dress like white girls and talk like white girls. and are effin hot.
    sorry if that just came out a bit offensive. just love the tbb!

    Posted on Reply
  42. alice says:

    you are not a betch. just a bitch. sorry

    Posted on Reply
  43. Anonymous says:

    do i smell a jealous betch? oh well.
    you’re just probably someone who wishes to be a betch and, in all actuality, lives in a trailer home. no class. go read the ‘betch list’ thoroughly.

    chill out girlfriend

    Posted on Reply
  44. bobcat says:

    I go to a small liberal art school in NE and there are two TABs that really piss me off. They literally get into silent competitions to see who can be the whitest and its so sad to watch. One gets off cause shes adopted but the other is just a serious slut. Quite literally the ultimate slut who has probs fucked more (white) guys in our group than quite possibly all of the other girls combined, which is quite impressive. I’m not racist at all and i’d probably hate the both of them if they were WASPs, but their ethnic self-loathing that really pisses me off and is disgusting and entirely unbetchy. 

    Posted on Reply
  45. Nahla says:

    heart my tab!!!!!

    Posted on Reply
  46. Anonymous says:

    agrreed~~~ my bestie is the tab & i love her.
    betches are high class and hot, never racist…..............xo

    Posted on Reply
  47. Anonymous says:

    i like the slight hints that the betches are from new york.

    Posted on Reply
  48. Anonymous says:

    honestly, i see your point. i’m an asian girl that grew up in a white suburban neighborhood and, though I am proud of my heritage, my culture is not just ‘asian’ but ‘asian american’. i was only exposed to white guys while growing up, so i am attracted to them much more than asian guys. i do not hate my ethnicity at all and love being asian. Though, I do wish i were more connected to my roots..
    i’m sorry you had to experience those two other asian sluts.. not all of us are like that.

    betches are at another level.

    sending love to you. xoxo

    Posted on Reply
  49. <3 says:

    my bestie is the tab of my group…

    now im wondering, TBB (token brown betch) post in the works?

    xoxo

    Posted on Reply
  50. Anonymous says:

    So incredibly rude and wrong.

    Posted on Reply
  51. Anonymous says:

    Best thing about the Asian betch… They take so many pictures! Group photog and token Asian betch in one!

    Posted on Reply
  52. white betch says:

    can’t wait for the TBB post.. and like, maybe the TMB if you can get enough writing about the TMBs. Fucking bad ass.

    Posted on Reply
  53. Anonymous says:

    Yes do a tbb post! I am the token black betch, my friends always call me their Dion from Clueless. Grew up like a princess but won’t hesitate to channel my inner ghetto black girl and go off on bitch! and I’m always teaching my friends how to dance like the ultimate slut before we go out partying. Can’t wait

    Posted on Reply
  54. GiGi says:

    TIME FOR SOME TOKEN ITALIAN BETCHES UP IN HERE!

    not the type on jersey shore or anyone who looks like they just stepped out of a goldfish container.
    im talking about the ones who rock the runway labels, food industry, and art gallerias.

    Posted on Reply
    • Italian betch says:

      YES.  Dressing slutty in expensive clothes is easy when your parents are the designers.  Also, clubbing, beaches, and day drinking?  We have Margherita Missoni, Sophia Loren, Monica Bellucci, Lady Gaga, Calpurnia, and, like Botticelli’s Venus. 
      Come on, Italibetches!

      Posted on Reply
  55. Anonymous says:

    whoaa just because there is a TAB post doesn’t mean we need to single out other ethnicities of betchess. I liked the TAB post but let’s not start discussing different cultures…. I did enough of that when I was abroad.

    Posted on Reply
  56. skinnybetch says:

    Everyone knows that being filipino and white is the best “asian” mix. real asians are annoying.

    Posted on Reply
    • Anonymous says:

      I know this is late as hell, but I really hope you see this.
      Filipinos are the worst possible type of Asian. In fact, if you talked to any other asian race and they were truthful with you? They would probably deny that you were even Asian. Like indians. ALL filipino people are annoying and everyone in the world knows it.

      Posted on Reply
      • FilipinaBetch says:

        Hahaha you can’t sit with us, peasant.

        Posted on Reply
  57. selina says:

    Obvs the betches wont write about every ethnicity. the key word is TOKEN dummies. and we all know there is always a TAB And TBB. so fuccckin duhh TBB makes perfect sense. that shit will be hilario. and funny just like this TAB post!!

    with love from a London TBB with a TAB bestie smile

    Posted on Reply
  58. ELLE says:

    and I’m the token asian betch. However, most people can tell just by glancing at my name! Difference between me and the skinny “I can eat whatever the fuck I want and not get fat” asian bitches is that I’m not a stick. So… while they’re gorging on a ridiculous amount of carbs (mainly rice).... I’m eating my plain salad whilst staring at my boobs and ass in the mirror and thinking “damn my face looks good”. True story… even black guys say I’ve got an ass. I guess what I’m trying to say is… the post is true. Don’t you other asians try to steal my thunder and infiltrate my group. I’m THE Token Asian betch!
    oh and ps, some asian boys are ok. But def going to marry the mixed boys. How else would I make sure my amazing genes get passed on. Shit would suck if my future husband gives my future precious children chink eyes and a body that only gains weight in the face. ...... just sayin.

    Posted on Reply
  59. Betch_life says:

    Okay, FULL asian guys are ugly. HOWEVER, as the betches point out, HALF asian/HALF white-European guys are fucking HOT. End of story. Racism is not betchy.

    Posted on Reply
  60. Anonymous says:

    HAHAH this is post is so true. Love it.

    Posted on Reply
  61. SkinnierBetch says:

    Everyone knows that Filipinos are wasting their lives away wishing they were white… A disgrace to all the true TABs out there. Embrace your Asianness, Betch. Oh wait - you’re only half.

    Posted on Reply
  62. Taylor says:

    elitism is acceptable in 2011 but white supremacy is not. your views aren’t betchy - they’re barbaric. and this is coming from someone white

    Posted on Reply
  63. Anonymous says:

    Asian guys have tiny wieners. FACT

    Posted on Reply
  64. AsianBetch says:

    aaaaaaaaaaaaand I only date Wall Street Pros. The betches know us so well!

    Posted on Reply
  65. Anonymous says:

    ha, don’t worry about it honey, asian guys don’t like ignorant cunts

    Posted on Reply
  66. Anonymous says:

    asianssleepinginlibraries.com

    Posted on Reply
  67. anonymous says:

    Please. You’re a moron for thinking Indian betches are “similarly related” to Asians in any way other than sharing the fuckin Himalayas. But yes, I think an Indian betch post needs to be up here too.

    Posted on Reply
  68. shocked betch says:

    most Asian girls walk and talk and act like they are 5 years old which is super annoying—you’re a fucking adult.. act like it… They normally get away with this type of behavior and don’t have to take responsibility for it because they are “small”—super fucking annoying, NO im not jealous of these tiny Asians i just choose to associate with betches that act their own age. HOPEFULLY the TABs in your groups don’t behave this way. Also Asian guys can be hot, don’t knock it till ya try it and don’t be fucking racist- i am totes shocked at how many racist BITCHES read this site… totes unattractive. Be careful.. karmas a real bitch.

    Posted on Reply
  69. Paige says:

    No Such thing because being black automatically makes you a betch. That’s like saying ” token rich jew” If your fat- get away If your poor- go kill yourself if your black WE FUCKING LOVE YOU

    Posted on Reply
  70. Anonymous says:

    Quick question (directed to no one in particular), in most other parts of the world ‘Asian’ refers to what North Americans call ‘South Asian’, and ‘Oriental’ is considered what they call ‘Asian’.

    Apparently, ‘Oriental’ is considered racist??? When did that fuckin happen?!

    Posted on Reply
  71. betchinitaly says:

    i was fucking this part-asian guy a year ago. he was like a quarter japanese or some shit..but he was fucking hot. he had the dick of a (large) white man, and the intelligence of an asian..he was like, really fucking smart.

    def recommend fucking a half asian guy at least once.

    Posted on Reply
  72. Anonymous says:

    from a TAB herself, well done.

    Posted on Reply
  73. soew says:

    To the girl who posted pics of supposed “hot asians”.
    Your wrong.
    Any white girl who thinks male asians are sexy is probably ugly with back rolls. Get your eyes checked.

    Posted on Reply
  74. SB betch says:

    you’re wrong. obviously lacking the smart gene.

    Posted on Reply
  75. Shannab says:

    One of your best ones yet! ILOVEYOU

    Posted on Reply
  76. Anonymous says:

    i think you meant bitch not betch because last time i checked this wasnt true .. ew not being racist.. same thing goes for white people as well ..just because you are a certain race it does not make you a betch .. dumbest logic ever gross.. it takes a lot more than that

    Posted on Reply
  77. Anonymous says:

    maybe in the fucking ghetto this would exist but not in betch world sorryyyyyyyyyyy

    Posted on Reply
  78. frances says:

    one of the best posts i’ve read in a long time.

    kudos!
    frances

    Posted on Reply
  79. Bitch4Life says:

    If your Asian and bitching about “stereotyped” just stop. Ooooh, so everyone thinks your smart, responsible, and got a bomb ass ACT score? That’s awful. Oh wait….those are actually some good qualities to have so sack up, and stop hating on this awesome post.

    Posted on Reply
    • Tab says:

      Um, yeah. Not when I have to pay more than you on college because I’m excelling.

      Posted on Reply
  80. jay says:

    as the asian betch in my friendgroup i can honestly say i relate to this post word for word. its like youre one of us babe

    Posted on Reply
  81. Anonymous says:

    This is really offensive. I get that this website is supposed to be satirical, but this one crossed the line.

    Posted on Reply
  82. Anonymous says:

    YESSS the TBB (token black betch) post needs to happen esp about the oreo TBB!

    Posted on Reply
  83. Anonymous says:

    Betchs aren’t ignorant. We’re smart and classy. Stupid girls like you are a good source of entertaiment though! Thanks for the laugh silly bitch!

    Posted on Reply
  84. Anonymous says:

    love sushi with my girls

    Posted on Reply
  85. Denni says:

    AGREED!!!

    Posted on Reply
  86. Anonymous says:

    totes agree with gigi. Despite how horrible all these jersey shows have made italians look not all of us are fat orange idiots with bad accents.  Olivia Palermo anyone?

    Posted on Reply
  87. anonymous says:

    Wtf are you talking about? I dunno about other parts of the world.. but this is #whatever - America. Over here the Asians are the chinkies and the Indians/Pakis/other insignificant brown countries are the South Asians.

    And I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that “Oriental” is NOT considered racist. Please refer to the 20 million comments above for examples of “racism”. kthxbai.

    Posted on Reply
  88. skinny betch says:

    There ought to be a clarification between different Asians.  Filipinos, Thai, etc are Southeast Asians/Pacific Islanders while Chinese, Japanese, Koreans are considered more Oriental.

    Filipinos are the best and yes I am biased!!! Cheers to big-eyes, olive skin tones, long, thick hair, elite skinny genes, and exotic beauty!! My mom is 60 years old and looks like she is 40-while I see all these other Italian, Irish, etc. trying so hard to keep their youth with botox and liposuction.  These days all the hot ‘white’ girls are already models, you don’t see too many on an everyday basis due to their generic look. Sure, there a lot of hot white girls, but put her next to an exotic beauty and she fades in comparison. Haute filipinos have an eye-catching, alluring, unique look.  Cheers, you assholes!

    Posted on Reply
  89. Nicole says:

    Hi. Somewhere along those 20 million comments.. people have evolved into more civilized beings. you’ve been left behind. get with it living under a rock is far from fabulous

    Posted on Reply
  90. Danielle says:

    human beings have evolved with sophistication. you clearly have been left behind

    Posted on Reply
  91. k says:

    Cheers to that, assholes!!! love it hehehe filipinos r haute n exotic!!!!!!

    Posted on Reply
  92. legitTAB says:

    You need a geography lesson you idiot. Chinese, Korean, Japanese are considered “Southeast Asian” and South Asian is Filipino, etc. Seriously, who uses “Oriental” anymore? Betches are smart; you’re obvsi not a legit betch- ew.

    Posted on Reply
  93. Anonymous says:

    Looks like someone is just jealous they can’t get with a handsome Asian guy, and just wants to get even through underhanded means. :p

    Go die in a craphole, bitch. No one wants you or this post to exist.

    Posted on Reply
  94. Anonymous says:

    Sorry, but YOU are the ugly one. I’m an Asian girl and I find Asian guys hotter than the Big Bang of the Universe.

    Posted on Reply
  95. Anonymous says:

    Agree with you so much. I’m an Asian girl, and I think this post to be absolutely offensive.

    Besides…I find Asian guys hot. Sorry if the others in here don’t think so, but they are going to be missing out on a lot. wink

    Posted on Reply
  96. Anonymous says:

    Agreed. I’m an Asian girl, and I think this is absolutely stupid. Should shut this site down.

    Posted on Reply
  97. BetchLeader says:

    You forgot that…the TAB is usually the leader of the Betch wolfpack. k

    Posted on Reply
  98. Anonymous says:

    fact. I am dating a half-white-European-half-Asian and it’s exotic and intoxicating

    Posted on Reply
  99. Anonymous says:

    My bf totes hooked up with some psycho asian bitch and she still wont get over it. Like she glares at me and tries to hit on him all the time. Obvs I forgave him because we weren’t serious at the time and he spent months making it up to me. Even though I am over it now, my TAB helped me get through my quasi-racist bitching, the thing about asian vags got to me. I am way skinnier than the fug faced TAB wannabe he hooked up with, so I don’t think its an asian thing, its a small girl thing.

    Posted on Reply
  100. Anonymous says:

    ...maybe because it isnt true HAHAHA thanks for the laugh

    Posted on Reply
  101. Kiera says:

    you need to develop your rationale in life. just because one person from one race did something to you is not justification for hating millions of other people. i’m sure the white bitch next to you fucked you over too. get over it. yellow white brown purple.. sluts are sluts.

    Posted on Reply
  102. Jessica says:

    I’m fucking Asian and found this to be hilarious. You might be hanging out with only Asians but if you were the only Asian girl in a group of close friends.. you’d know this shit touches so many truths.

    Posted on Reply
  103. Anonymous says:

    I am totally the fucking TAB only thing here that isn’t true is that Asian chicks like the big dick. Yeah.

    Posted on Reply
  104. Khan says:

    Im asian and i only fuck white bitches. fact, last girl i fucked said i had a bigger dick than my white friend whos also like a foot taller. hahahahah. so fuck yall.

    Posted on Reply
  105. skinnybetch says:

    Dear imbecile,

    As someone who has actually traveled all over Asia and has a non-public school education, let me just tell you that China, Japan, Korea etc are in the the north-east part of Asia.  The Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia,Vietnam etc are below the Tropic of Cancer.  Southeast Asian countires are those geographically south of China, east of India, west of New Guinea and north of Australia. Before you insult someone obviously very intelligent and traveled, why don’t you consult google you plebeian, mis-guided, brainless fool.  How very unfortunate.

    Posted on Reply
  106. skinnybetch says:

    On a serious note, was your reply a joke? I am very troubled that an actual human being truly believes the Philippines and Thailand is South Asia and not Southeast. It’s called google image you pathetic half-wit.  I guess this is what separates the dumb betches from the smart ones.

    XXOXOX

    Posted on Reply
  107. Anonymous says:

    the belief of the Aryan race is over.

    Posted on Reply
  108. Stephen says:

    Its true asian guys are at the bottom of the totem pole but my friend at college was a Japanese dude…all the white bitches were on his shit.

    Posted on Reply
  109. Anonymous says:

    I’m a half asian betch….and this is the betchiest best shit I’ve ever heard about myself. Rage on you beautiful sushi sluts -EC

    Posted on Reply
  110. Anonymous says:

    I’m the half-Asian TAB in my group of betches too and I completely agree. It’s not betchy without the TAB!

    Posted on Reply
  111. Anonymous says:

    ohh do u smoke alot of marajuana?

    Posted on Reply
  112. party b says:

    are you fucking kidding me?  sounds like someone needs to get laid.

    im totes the TAB and this post is toooo accurate.  dont hate because you didnt have jewish parents and private schooling wannabebetches.

    Posted on Reply
  113. Filipino Betch says:

    To “are you kidding?” : if you think you have to be white to be a betch you are obviously not a betch you’re just bitter. Betches know that diversity is the best thing you can do for your inner-betch circle. I’m half filipino and half european and who do you think gets the most attention out of my group of friends? Dumb question, it’s me fuckin obviously. Whether you’re the Token Asian Betch, or even just half, you know that the best part of this is getting all the attention. Not to mention how much more quickly we tan.

    Posted on Reply
  114. Anonymous says:

    What about the TBB? Token Black Betch. Almost every Betch group has one. fact.

    Posted on Reply
  115. anonymous says:

    This is the BEST comment i have ever seen. BAHAHAHA literally laughed out loud

    Posted on Reply
  116. Anonymous says:

    yess!!!! my group has a TAB shes soo hot and we allll love her! ps any racist people on here you are no betch, after all money cant buy you class..and furthermore my group has a TBB and seriously she gets more bro attention than most the girls in my group (13) soo i think that post is absolutely necessary! shes our oreo and everyone wants a piece!! lol love u bestie tbb!

    Posted on Reply
  117. Princessbetch** says:

    We need a blog on the token Betch in the group
    Who loves black guys. . .

    Posted on Reply
  118. Lol says:

    99% of you sound ignorant and pathetic. Grow the eff up

    Posted on Reply
  119. Anonymous says:

    jealousy is an ugly look just saying…

    Posted on Reply
  120. ping le says:

    you’re just jealous that we have long silky hair, dont have to spend money on deoderant and that our vaginas arent as bushy

    Posted on Reply
  121. Anonymous says:

    bitches can be crazy regardless of race.  insecurity and self-esteem issues transcend the color of your skin and the size of your eyes.  so whether you’re white, black, asian, hispanic…bitches be crazy.

    that being said, you can choose to be a betch and think in mindless stereotypes where everyone fits neatly into certain categories, or be a real person.  some of the things in this post are witty and true, and some are offensive.  i’m an asian girl and have dated both white and asian guys (just b/c those were the two main groups i grew up with and am surrounded by)...and each relationship was different that had nothing to do with race.  that being said, the asian guys were both insanely hot, while my standards for the white guys were a little lower.  i think that’s just b/c whites were the majority race in america for a long time, so they were instilled with the confidence to approach anyone without fear of rejection from an early age.  asian guys generally have more traditional values and are more reserved, so it’s harder for them to date outside of what they know esp since they’re constantly being told by society they shouldn’t.

    my point being, it goes both ways in terms of white girls not dating asian guys…it’s not a one-way street.  plenty of girls, both white and asian threw themselves at my asian exes, and there was no way of telling what the guys were responsive to.  i might look like the TAB next door, but there’s so much more to me that has nothing to do with my looks.  either you’re hot or you’re not, and to point to race as an attractor or detractor is just small-minded and stupid.  instead of hating on a certain race just b/c a girl of said race stole your boyfriend, you should probably work on your own personality and not harboring shit.

    Posted on Reply
  122. Anonymous says:

    regardless..Oriental is a term that is not only totally archaic, but one that’s deemed demeaning and racist.  you still lose.

    Posted on Reply
  123. California betch says:

    Bahahahahahahaha

    He no love us long time!!!

    Posted on Reply
  124. party b says:

    thanks for writing a novel for us, charles fucking dickens.

    Posted on Reply
  125. ivybetch says:

    didn’t know that was true for anyone else but soooooo true of my tab

    Posted on Reply
  126. Asian dude says:

    As an asian dude, here is my advice for other asian guys:

    1) White girls are where it’s at.  Most asian girls have a princess complex and are boring in bed.  Also, no T&A.  There are a few exceptions.

    2) White girls who are vocal about never dating asian guys: don’t fuck them.  Yes, you can probably bone most of their friends, but avoid the temptation to give them the cock.  Sure, we’re all drawn to a challenge, but it’s really not that hard and it turns out that the racism shit usually comes out of inexperience and insecurity.  That means while you’re getting bored because they suck in bed they’re getting clingy and insecure, and it ends up being a whole ordeal (crying, running mascara, six months of stalker txts and blocked numbers) to get rid of them.

    3) Latin and black girls are awesome, but crazy.  Not in a clingy, crying white-girl kind of crazy… but a “punch other girls in the face when they talk to you” kind of crazy.  If you like to sleep around, avoid the latin and black girls.  They’re hot, but they scare other girls away and are hard to get rid of.

    Posted on Reply
  127. Anonymous says:

    OHH MY GOD YESS i would die

    Posted on Reply
  128. asian betch says:

    Inspired by this post. Follow AsianBetch on Twitter!
    Need to go tanning but I don’t want to alienate my fans in Asia. #asiangirlproblems
    The FOB selfies on your Facebook aren’t going to get you that K-Pop singer. But my photoshoots for Vogue Korea probably will. #AsianBetch

    Posted on Reply
  129. Anonymous says:

    You’re an embarrassment. End of story.

    Posted on Reply
  130. Anonymous says:

    They aren’t the “asians” that are being described in this post. Please don’t insult this post.

    Posted on Reply
  131. Anonymous says:

    Woo smile half asian as well we are the hottest wink Jap+italian

    Posted on Reply
  132. gt says:

    kinda scared that the betches are stalking me cuz this is about me.

    Posted on Reply
  133. HelloPanda says:

    Let me just point out that India is located in Asia. So they are similar and are technically Asians too duh!

    Posted on Reply
  134. HelloPanda says:

    Haha loved the post! Amaz. However I think ya’ll need to give the Asian boys some love.

    I dated an older Korean guy when I was living in Thailand last year who was totally hot. Let me be clear, hottest guy I have ever met! He had an amazing body and he was funny (rare find).

    He introduced me to some adventurous food and taught me how to say some things in Korean (toki is my fav). Great experience all around!

    -super funny and amazingly good looking white girl-

    Posted on Reply
  135. thatone says:

    I find it interesting that you’re the only person who commented in proper English. Also interesting is the fact that you’re countering stereotypes with more stereotypes… not that i disagree about any of them.

    Posted on Reply
  136. what the? says:

    This whole entire site is a satire, playing on the social stereotypes and common perceptions. This post doesn’t suggest that the writer has a TAB, only that it’s a recurring trend. Your blatant racism is not only slightly disturbing but also indicative of missing the punchline.

    Posted on Reply
  137. anonymous says:

    assuming the penis stereotype true, the fact that you won’t date Asian guys (another assumption) just because of it certainly says something about your narrow-minded goals of dating… I wouldn’t go so far as to call you a slut because I don’t know you at all. But the same probably applies for you to most Asian guys.

    Posted on Reply
  138. yepyep says:

    and whites the new minority in a few years so we’ll see if karma really is a bitch.

    Posted on Reply
  139. and says:

    isn’t it weird that so many of these people would date only a half-asian but not a full asian when the half-asian’s parents obviously found the latter acceptable (and most probably lovely)? Perhaps our generation is moving backward when it comes to racial integration…

    Posted on Reply
  140. don't worry says:

    that was three paragraphs and probably the most well-thought comment out of any of these comments. if you don’t want to read it because of its length, then don’t! probably took you more time to reply than to read the “novel” in the first place.

    Posted on Reply
  141. Anonymous says:

    i loved this site so much until i read this entry.  i’m asian and i feel attacked and a little offended.  how come “asian betches” are “them” and (im assuming) “white betches” are us?  Can’t there just be betches?  )=

    Posted on Reply
  142. TAB says:

    As a hot token asian betch, i loved this one…it all rang true (my parents freaked out when they saw me running around campus in my little sorority booty shorts), all except the part where we would make our peeps homemade sushi.  Betch please…

    the other thing is, slutty asians are usually not betches, they are usually fug in the face or some kind of horrible Bai Ling FOB-style situation going on.  i like to party but i’m not a slut AND I’m not a prude who only likes banker types…i guess the lesson here is that all betches are special

    Posted on Reply
  143. Asian Dude says:

    I wrote what I did to pass on advice to my Asian brothers, not to combat or counter any stereotypes.

    Stereotypes form out of shared perceptions of truth.  If enough people believe that Asians have small dicks, it becomes accepted as common knowledge.  That tells us nothing of reality, but everything about perceived reality.  I know there are more than a few white dudes out there (whose girlfriends spent a great deal of time in my bed) who probably take comfort in the perception that I have a small penis because of my race.  Why take that from them?  It’s all they have.

    Posted on Reply
  144. Anonymous says:

    fact. i never date a narrow minded girl

    Posted on Reply
  145. Anonymous says:

    Non-asian guy has a sucky-ass comeback and needs to go back to school for a grammar lesson. You can’t even speak your native language correctly.

    Posted on Reply
  146. Anonymous says:

    The way you judge a man by the size of his penis, shows that you’re a shallow ass bitch. Go ahead and stick to your white meat, we’re not missing out on anything great anyways.

    Posted on Reply
  147. Skinny White Betch says:

    “Though white betches don’t date fully Asian guys, hooking up with the half-white-European-half-Asian is kind of like going sake bombing at a trendy new restaurant.”

    I dated a half Asian guy and he totes had a small wang. Although he had nice skin…

    Posted on Reply
  148. Anonymous says:

    If you’re looking for depth you’re in the wrong venue.

    Posted on Reply
  149. Anonymous says:

    omg i DIE for this!

    Posted on Reply
  150. Anonymous says:

    theres obviously some upset asian guy who read this and is just trying to tear some betches down. good thing we dont pity you. just say your half asian and move on with your life.

    Posted on Reply
  151. Anonymous says:

    Well it’s mutual then because Asian guys are smart and they wouldn’t want to date a stupid bitch slut like you anyway.

    Posted on Reply
  152. Anonymous says:

    fact. white people will are not as intelligent as Asians and White people will be more likely to have sex with their family members.

    Posted on Reply
  153. Anonymous says:

    hahaha thats really funny. When it comes down to whether a white person or an Asian to get a job, its gonna be the asian. Why do you think asians are outsourcing all your American shit biatch!!

    Posted on Reply
  154. Anonymous says:

    Assuming that you believe in this stereotype does not only show that you are ignorant, but it can also reflect your own penis size. See… people who put down other people by talking about their small penis usually will reflect the insecurity of their own penis size.

    Posted on Reply
  155. Jamie says:

    Can there be a black betch!!! i totally can be her. I’m the betchiest black chick of all!

    I guess it would be more like the Oreo betch…but you get what i mean.

    Posted on Reply
  156. head betch in charge says:

    sending this to my TAB right now. best part is about them not being able to watch tv so fucking true lmao

    Posted on Reply
  157. hmmm says:

    i think i’d rather go for chinese, japanese, or korean

    Posted on Reply
  158. Anonymous says:

    I kind of have a thing for asian guys!  I’m white, though.

    Posted on Reply
  159. Katy Moore says:

    looks like someone’s the opposite of a betch

    Posted on Reply
  160. Maggie says:

    Personally, as a total betch…i must share tell y’all that you are missing out on asian men. To address what first comes to mind, the small dick stereotype is NOT true. Asian men are often smart, chic, professionals who are inventive, passionate lovers. They make wonderful boyfriends and perfect husbands. Not to mention the super sexy hapa babies you can have. Don’t be so racist and bigotted, it is neither hot nor the behavior of confident, independent women.

    Posted on Reply
  161. anonymous says:

    there has never been anything so true and accurate than this article

    Posted on Reply
  162. Anonymous says:

    I’d rather be a sad panda than a low-self-esteemed chihuahua

    Posted on Reply
  163. h says:

    hahahahhaa that was a hilarious comment, props

    Posted on Reply
  164. eurasianbetch says:

    My ex was half Korean and half-Cantonese (he’s from Hong Kong) and he had a massive dick. And all the Asian boys I’ve dated have been really sweet, intelligent, and funny bros.

    No one likes an ignorant bitch. You never know what you like until you try it, betch. xoxo

    Posted on Reply
  165. #brownbetch says:

    brown betches (otherwise known as jai HOs) b asian too! we totes need our own post. indian/paki betches are rich as fuck from their plastic surgeon/ celebrity jeweler daddies, they have year-round envy-inducing tans, they have enough money to buy themselves into any college but unlike JABS, are smart enough that they don’t have to, and despite being fucking whitewashed they maintain a hint of exotic spice…represent!

    Posted on Reply
    • omg says:

      amen #brownbetch but I gotta say, I love my JAB besties, they are sharp!

      Posted on Reply
  166. White Bro says:

    Its funny how all these Asian girls are openly proud of how they are prostitutes for white men and have no ounce of pride or self-respect.

    I hope you girls know white guys go for you to “try out” an Asian and no matter how white you act you will always be viewed as an object.

    Black, Latina, and Middle Eastern women have infinitely more self-respect.

    Posted on Reply
  167. TAB says:

    I am totally a TAB but honestly, white boys are lame as fuck. Exotic tan bad-ass boys are where its at. Enrique Iglesias can pick me up any day.

    Posted on Reply
  168. amen says:

    amen sistaa ^^. i think you r my friend in real life lol

    Posted on Reply
  169. .... says:

    the tab that love this posting should kill yourselves..
    i would hate to hate myself so much
    y’all are proud of an article that basically tells you that you are less than a white woman/ still the “only one of your kind that we accept” and you’re proud of it…. i can only laugh ... oh well

    attention!
    white boys will always objectify you
    white girls will be friends with you but still consider you a minority at the end of the day…

    Posted on Reply
  170. White girls actually marry Asians at highest rate. says:

    Not that white girls are anything special.  If Kate Upton is the best they got, that’s kind of sad.  A desperate selection to keeping pushing the “it” girl having to be white. 

    Anyways, they are the majority still, and if you look at their non-white marriage selection rate, then I’m not sure why people think Asian guys are at the bottom.  Let’s remember that Hollywood and media not only shows more white guy/Asian girl on TV than Asian guy/Asian girl, but also more black guy/Asian girl than Asian guy/Asian girl.

    That’s how ridiculously absent Asian guys are on the screen.  They won’t even show them with an Asian girls on TV, outside the few stereotypical roles.  Go to any area with a decent number of American raised Asian guys, and notice those guys have close to zero media representation.

    Despite all that, the highest rate for interracial marriage for white girls in the US is to Korean guys first, then probably Japanese or Taiwanese guys second.  If there were as many Korean and Japanese guys as non-white Hispanics or blacks, then this perception would immediately change.

    You can see this happening in selection process in the families of the politically powerful.  Obama’s sister’s, Al Gore’s daughter, Russian President Putin’s daughter, Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s daughter, and so on.  This isn’t the 1990 or 2000 anymore.  Get with it.

    Posted on Reply
  171. Stahp and get with the program. says:

    I get that this site is all about being a “betch” and is meant to be read as satire or humor and all, but this is 2014. Don’t write a disgusting, demeaning, condescending and stereotypical post on Asian American women…AND then promote it on Chinese New Years. You know that being “Asian” doesn’t automatically equate to being “Chinese”, likeee right? Super awks and super inappropriate.

    Did you promote your post on Jewish American Betches during Hanukkah? Like real talk.

    Posted on Reply
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