Popular culture tells us that you’re allowed half the duration of the actual length of your relationship to get over it, but what they don't take into consideration is the entire ex-boyfriend life cycle.
This cycle is for people who haven't found a new boyfriend or are unhappy with the guy they're hooking up with. If you're fortunate enough to have fallen in either of these categories and were probably over it for a large part of your ex-relationship, skip to the last phase of the cycle. For the rest of you drama-seeking betches, here’s what to expect when you’re expecting too much.
We Still Fuck Sometimes But He’s Not My Boyfriend Phase:Why would you revert to an earlier stage of your relationship where you still have to play games? You broke up for a reason. It’s called a breakup because it’s fucking broken.
Break-ups are hard.
You're a betch, be single. Why manipulate one guy when you can manipulate three? Fucking duh.
This stage consists of still hooking up while being anxiously on edge about what he’s doing and with whom. It’s just a mess. This never ends well. Best to exit as soon as possible.
Usually, unless you get back together, something happens to get you very angry at your ex, there’s a massive blowout fight, possibly involving a #92 love triangle, and you enter the next phase.
The Over It Not Over It Phase: You claim to be #82 over it, but all you fucking talk about is him and how much he sucks and the whores he’s fucking. For someone who’s supposed to hate someone, you’re checking for updates as frequently as one checks their Facebook or Twitter. Literally, by checking Facebook and Twitter.
OMG did Jon put me on limited profile?! Jenna, you MUST go on Facebook so we can go through and compare EXACTLY which tagged pics of Jon we both see?
You are so not over it that you are under the impression that this is something Jenna wants to do.
Even though you claim to be over it, all of your friends know that you have carefully calculated each and every move you make in order to make your ex jealous, angry, or upset. If you manage to accomplish all three, congrats, this the ultimate in #32 winning and greatest feeling of happiness in the #16 not over it phase.
However, you’re only allowed to be in the continuous bitching stage for a third of the duration of the your relationship. To the besties of the girls in this phase: fucking sucks if she's trying to get over a 3 year relationship, consider branching out.
Phase of Silence: Eventually it becomes socially unacceptable to still be talking about your ex, so even if you’re not fully out of the last phase you better fucking pretend like you are. It’s like counting the dead after a battle. Silent.
It's always a surprise when someone breaks up with Jen
The Actual Over It Phase: This is the rainbow after the hurricane. You actually don’t wish this person ill will. You don’t care. As we’ve said before, the person who cares the least has the most power and is by default winning, but you’re out of the game now.
At one point you might even give a smile and wave when you see him somewhere, possibly even a #88 stop and chat. This is the greatest symbol of the Actual Over It Phase.
Side Note: Claiming that your ex-boyfriend has now morphed into your guy friend is not allowed in this phase or like, ever. Like we’ve said before, #50 guy friends are bullshit. Unless you got fat.
Every word #soeffintrue
Posted on — Replythis post is killer. so amazing and not a word of a lie
Posted on — Replyholy shit betches
Posted on — ReplyMy ex boyfriend and I have sex every time were home for breaks. Theres no possibility of us getting together cause were both at different schools yet fuck like bunnies when were home its nice.
Posted on — Replythis article is fucking amazing.
Posted on — ReplyJust broke up with my boyfriend of two years in July. We had the fucking phase but it didn’t end badly, I just started ignoring him. Whatevs, I was #over it. I skipped right over to the actual over it phase, with maybe one week of pretending to be over it. My life is fucking awesome now…. So many bros/pros, so little time
Posted on — Reply“You claim to be #82 over it, but all you fucking talk about is him”
Singlebetch: Despite your claims, you are very clearly still in the Not Over It Phase and probably need to enter the Phase of Silence as soon as possible.
Posted on — ReplyWell said!
Posted on — Replythis entire post is #WINNING
Posted on — ReplyBut my ex has such a big dick! What’s a girl to do in a sea of small members?
Posted on — ReplyI knowwwwww, same here :(
Posted on — ReplyVery true!
Nothings more annoying on a date than when your prospect won’t stop bringing up their ex… http://www.redflag101.com/5-first-date-red-flags-from-a-reformed-slut’s-point-of-view/
That is an instant deal breaker and a clear sign they aren’t ready for anything serious yet. Unless your down for a one night stand, don’t bring up your Ex on a date.
Posted on — Replyim at the over it phaseeeee…yeeeee betchessss
Posted on — ReplyThe bf moved and we broke up….we still talk all the time and still love each other. We will not get back together anytime soon but I have NOOOO fucking clue what phase i’m in…have been through or am about to enter. I’m having FUN being single but still being held back…
Posted on — Replythis post is #perfection
Posted on — ReplyThis post just clarifies that all women are 2 bit whores who are good for nothing these days…all you trick ass hoes who major in Psychology or Womens Studies…..take Home Economics 101 ..aka get in the fucking kitchen and LEARN your place, BITCH.
Posted on — Reply2 bit whores? Why did you even read the post? Do you honestly fear women who major in Psychology and Women’s Studies? Pathetic. Get in the kitchen? Why don’t you take some courses, get off the internet and try saying this to a woman in person. If you already do, there’s no point in trying to talk some sense into you.
Posted on — Replymy guy has a gf and still trys to fuckk and i fall for it everytime saying he loves me and shit any advice before i get myself into a whole heep of drama?
Posted on — Replystop bitchin out and being a sexist douche. it just gives the impressions that you’re insecure because you (probably) cant get any girlfriends/chicks. or you are going through some of these stages as well… and possibly pms bud.
Posted on — Replyso just shut the fuck up.
You stop? duh.
Posted on — ReplyMy bff is in the over it so not over it stage, I’m friends with her ex and she’s always asking me what’s up. He’s seeing someone and trying to hook up with just about anything.. They still talk and she will fureeak if she finds this out. Even tho shes facking a back burner bro. I’ve told her it’s not worth it and get over it but she isn’t listening, how do I knock some sense into her?
Posted on — Replythe man that bring back my ex love
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Posted on — ReplyNeed a spell caster?then think of Bologo he is real reliable and he does what he promise you.I know all this because he helped with my marriage problem.For security reason i will not live my name here but i can tell you all he did to help me.Me and my family live in the US military base here in America,my wife is a solider and i love it that she is and i support.But being a solider means she is half my wife and fully the U.S army.before her three tour we were so in love and we had a kid son who we both love him.It all changed after her two tour in Iraq and Afghanistan,i noticed the distance her second tour she stopped call at first i thought maybe she was part of an accident but i found out that she was OK in Afghanistan.She explained that she always on patrol.It got ugly on the third. I guess in the last two tours she found herself a new lover and then totally forgetting me and our boy.I can not say i did not notice because she always has to be some where instead of with me,coming up with some silly excuse not to be with me that is ( have sex ) and her entire behavior told me all i needed to know. i did my research and i had a hint that it was her squad lieutenant.I had know evidence so a could not take the matter to any body.It killed me to seeing this happen i was going suicidal.What hurt me the most was she going home knowing that i suspect she infidelity,she kept lying to me over and over again.The power of positive thinking helped me a lot.I thought that maybe i can find in the help on the internet with the people who had being in the same problem with him.I found a lot of ways but nor worked except Bologo spell.At that time five month ago i was so confused that i could do anything to get my wife back so i contacted Bologo with his email address i saw in some comment on the internet at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) laid down my problem to him and told him the entire story and he even confirmed my hint was right, how he did i do not know but he was right because my wife told me later after the spell was made effective.Bologo cast a spell on them both do not know what he did but it seem he made them both forget they ever crossed path romantically speaking like they never know each other expect there official relationship that is squad leader and solider.I owe my life to Bologo what he did saved my marriage.I can tell you this because i have tried and it worked for me.Your case also have a solution with Bologo contact him with his email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Posted on — Replyfucking your ex is like fucking an animal
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Posted on — ReplyGrace (England)
I want to use this opportunity to thank Dr. Olokum for helping me get my lover back after he left me few months ago. i have sent friends and my brothers to beg him for me but he refused that it is all over between both of us but when i met this Dr. Olokum he told me to relaxed that every thing will be fine and really after just a week i got my man back. so thank you so much Olokum. here is the email and phone number of Dr. Olokum .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Posted on — ReplyDr.Zabaza is the great man that was able to bring back my lover within 48hours and since them my lover has been treating me with so much love and i have never been so happy as i am now. If you want your relationship to be full with so much love and happiness just like mine then contact this great man called Dr.Zabaza on .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or call him on +2348182620374. I bet you your relationship will never be as before and you will get a positive changes in your relationship.
Posted on — ReplyMy name is Collins Mckay and my Testimony goes to Dr. Wicca on how he bring back my lover within 48 hours.
My Ex and i breakup 4 months ago and went with another man. I even lost my job during that time then. I try all i could to get her back and also getting a new job but all my effort was in vain. Then i Saw Dr. Wicca ad on the internet and phoned him, within a few minutes I just knew that he would help me, and really understands what i’m going through.
To my surprise within 48 hours, i received a phone call from the new job i have been finding and also i’m really short of words, because i can’t finally believe i got my Sophie back after been scam by lot of spell caster’s promising me false hope not knowing all they really wanted was my money. Thank you so much Dr. Wicca, without you i wouldn’t have gotten the new job and also she wouldn’t come back..I have recommended Dr. Wicca to anyone who are having troubles in their love life, looking for a better job, lottery spells, business spell. You can contact him on: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or http://www.wiccanlovespells.net or his personal cell number +2348097350565.
Collins Mckay
Posted on — ReplyI’m Neul its crazy because i would have never believed it..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I contacted this spell caster called OGUN FADA.My wife left me for no reason for awhile now,I did all i could to work things out with her but to no avail,i ran mad for a while lonely and frustrated,I told the spell caster(Ogun Fada)what has happened all he asked was if I really love her and wanted her back..Still it sounded weird but i gave it a try,i did all he wanted of me,now i was waiting on him.within 3days my phone rang and it was my true and only love,it was like a dream because i didnt believe in it,we are happy back together,This spell caster(Ogun Fada)has really worked a miracle and i will always be grateful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..Am Posting this to the Forum just in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out..you can reach him here:dodorimaspelltemple@yahoo.com
Posted on — ReplySo fucking true, so true. I wish I could slap the shit out of myself for not getting into the “Actually Over It” phase earlier.
Posted on — ReplyGet your lover back: Your lover left you? Don’t loose your time, he or she must still have feelings for you and must be getting trough a period of doubts. Take advantage of these doubts and ask me to do a spell now. This spell is specially designed for love issues. It will bring back the most intense passion he or she have had for you. Attention, this ritual will be successful only if you have been separated for less than 6 months. Beyond 6 months or for a permanent solution, contact me for a free consultation. If you are sure she or he is your soul mate and you want him/her back, this spell is for you. dr,rivershebalisthome@gmail.com
Posted on — Reply