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By The Betches on

LA woman spends $15,000 on plastic surgery to achieve the perfect selfie

In an interview with ABC, 38 year old Triana Lavey said she "hated" the way she looked on Facebook and Instagram, so she pursued plastic surgery in order to "look like a supermodel" and be more photogenic. Over the course of two years, Lavey received a chin implant, a nose job, Botox, and cheek defining fat grafts and is now apparently "overjoyed" at her results. When describing her new look, Lavey stated, "I look like myself, but photoshopped." Righttt. Okay, Lavey, we appreciate you wanting to make the world more beautiful, but we have news for you: 38 is wayyyy to old to be taking selfies. Maybe get off the internet and, like, get a hobby…and that’s saying A LOT coming from us. Read article >>

Wanna be skinny? Move to the mountains

A new study suggests that high altitudes can aid in weight control. Over the course of four years, the study focused on overweight military personnel. After adjusting for factors such as age, race, sex, and BMI at time of enlistment, research concluded that personnel stationed at high altitudes had a 41 percent lower risk of becoming obese. One explanation for these findings is that hormones involved in appetite control, such as leptin, increase at higher altitudes. There you go, betches: just another reason to consider moving to Colorado. That said, with all the munchies you’ll get from the weed there the altitude effects will be pretty much cancelled out. Read article >>

Happy finals! Everyone's cracked out on Adderall

Once again, experts are “shocked” at the number of college students popping stimulants like candy. While the number of students abusing "study drugs" has increased over all during the past decade, the number varies significantly by school, with the greatest proportion of users being found at private and "elite" universities (in other words, where the betches are). FYI, CNN, this isn't fucking news. Full disclosure, betches: you won't find out anything new from reading this article, but it's still hilarious to see people report on this shit like it's actually a recent development. Read article >>