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By The Betches on

Be it studying abroad or just visiting for the weekend, every betch knows that when it comes to Europe, Barcelona is one of the betchiest cities. So what’s a betch to do when visiting one of the biggest party cities of the world besides breaking out your perfect high school spanish? Donday estahhh la discotecka? Por fahhhvor?

During the Day You Should: Smoke and go to Parc Guell. This outdoor garden complex looks like something Dr. Seuss fucking dreamed up in one of his trippy books and there’s music and pretty colored statues and shit to take pictures next to. If you’re particularly high you should stop by the Picasso museum and see some fugly famous paintings, of his blue period of course.

 

parc guellShould have saved my shrooms for this

 

Since this city clearly has a hard-on for Gaudi, you might also want to visit Sagrada Familia for like twenty minutes until you get bored of seeing yet another old ass church that someone felt compelled to make due to the fact that the hundreds of others were clearly not distinct enough.

If you’re with your #50 guy friends, take a trip to an FC Barcelona soccer game. Here you can buy a cool scarf or jersey and an oversized flag to put in your apartment once you go back to school. You can use this shit to pretend you know about sports and show off your #3 abroad pride.

Also, Barcelona is amazing because it has an awesome beach so be sure to go to Opium on the water for drinks during the day and then go back at night when it turns into a club. Don't look shocked when you see old men running around nude by the water, people will know you are a tourist. Speaking of looking like a tourist, don't go around saying "Barcaaaaaa woooo!" when you are drunk.

You Shouldn't Eat: Anything. Lucky for the betch abroad in Barce, Spain has pretty shitty food unless you for some reason love jamón in and around you at all times. As a result, it’s easy to starve yourself until you go to Italy for spring break. Also, the tapas allows you to ease into your vomiting due to your standard abroad induced bulimia culture shock. Also, as a beach city, it has pretty good sushi so make sure you’re seen at Carpe Diem Lounge Club, a place that is expensive and sceney.

 

vicky cristina barcelona"This is so much better than Boston."

 

At Night You Should: Go to one of the many amazing Barcelona clubs that don’t even open until like midnight and will have you returning home at 6am, thirsty as fuck as a result of going out with your BFF Molly. Be sure to hit up clubs like Razzmatazz or Otto Zutz on Mondays so that you’re not partying with actual Spaniards. Ew. Barce nighlife is so amazing that even their bars are almost like clubs. Go to Broadbar for #63 Americans.

So betches, make sure you cross Barcelona off your list of places to see and be seen. Just beware that you should hide your shit because unlike America where everyone merely envies your Chanel purse, the Spaniards have no issue with stealing it while you try and figure out how to work the weird European elevator doors.

 

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56 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. barca betch says:

    You forgot a few key places…
    -Bo da Be for the ultimate salad for the betch #5 Diet
    -Your bff for #20 Clubbing….the promoter. You better have been fucking BBM friends. Especially Kyke known for his #53 Shadiness
    -The Starbucks under the CEA Global Campus (betchiest abroad program).  Ordering a #54 Iced Coffee in spanish (un cafe con leche desnetada y hielo por favor?) was a key phrase to learn in the first week

    Posted on Reply
  2. abroad betch says:

    if you’re a cheap betch/you spent all your money on coke (ridiculously easy to find in Barce) stay at the club half an hour later. the subways at like 2 AM and the cabs get more expensive then, however the clubs close at 8 AM and the subways reopen at 7 AM. talk about a city built to party

    Posted on Reply
  3. Hola betches says:

    Kyke is the shadiest.

    How about Chupitos? 2 euro shots? Yes please.

    Posted on Reply
  4. sassy betch says:

    If you were a real betch you would know that Razzmatazz is only open on Fridays and Saturdays

    Posted on Reply
  5. Geneva says:

    When I’m in Barcelona, or any other country for that matter, I tend to stay away from starbucks in general.  When I’m in another awesome countryI like to find some cute coffee shop or something else that I couldn’t find everyday in NYC where I live.

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    this explains my barca abroad experience 100%!! brings back great memories… nasty mondays forever.

    Posted on Reply
    • betchyo says:

      dont you mean loco lunes?

      Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    if you were a real betch you’d know that razzmatazz aka the jungle was not betchy at all and a last resort if any. I would rather go to shoko then to razzmatazz any day…. which says a lot.

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    Ahahahaha this is perfect. My abroad experience to a T!

    Posted on Reply
  9. x says:

    if you’re a real betch you would party in VIP with MJB, free cava, one euro bottles of vino to the face to pregame and take the metro home at 5 when it opens up and then wake up and repeat for the next 6 nights.

    Posted on Reply
  10. marissa says:

    I love Barca

    Posted on Reply
  11. barca betch says:

    they are 2 diff. people FUCKING DUH kike was so not shady but kyke was. you are not a betch

    Posted on Reply
  12. lisa says:

    tooootes love Barca. off topic.. but you need to write a post about the betch preggo scare..

    Posted on Reply
  13. Anonymous says:

    fucking correct

    Posted on Reply
  14. Anonymous says:

    shoko! honestly the best, totally agree

    Posted on Reply
  15. BMihaelll says:

     
    Fantastic goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely wonderful. I really like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you’re saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it smart. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is really a terrific site. 

    Posted on Reply
  16. The True Barca Betch says:

    It’s Kyke with a fucking Y* if it’s loco lunes and Kike with I if it’s Wednesday night at Broadbar… like duhhh. Thursday through Sunday you’re obvs traveling Europe and following all the biggest raves or you’re not a betch. Tiesto in Amsterdam, Sensation White in Belgium and Avicii on a Monday night… I think yes. Oh and if you don’t have BBM forget having friends

    Posted on Reply
  17. Mark says:

    I live in BCN and its not the spaniards that steal your shit its the algerians and the morrocans.

    PS. Opium is crap!

    Posted on Reply
  18. RollyBetch says:

    Amen. Razzmatazz is gross. Opium, shoko, icebar, and done. Then #not fucking a Spanish bro on the beach before sunrise. Rawr.

    Posted on Reply
    • backpack says:

      Opium is my fav. can’t believe it wasn’t mentioned. Sutton anyone?

      Posted on Reply
  19. Chazzzzzz says:

    Drug availability, female promiscuity, hooker aggressiveness, Paki frugality, Kyke shadiness, Moroccan thievery…All parts of the best city evvvvv. CEA 4 EVA, BETCH

    Posted on Reply
  20. a says:

    sutton- hottest guys in barcelona

    Posted on Reply
  21. MiamiBetch says:

    Props to recognizing a pretty fucking betchy city. HOWEVER, take your clever betchy molly-loving alcohol-chugging know-how-to-have-fun talents and check out IBIZA. It is Miami and Barcelona combined, and then multiplied by infinity. It is a fucking island. Enough said. It was born a betchy city.

    Posted on Reply
  22. Anonymous says:

    ditto. Razzmatazz is an absolute shithole.

    Posted on Reply
  23. Anonymous says:

    Definitely plan to visit Barcelona while abroad.

    I’m heading to Paris for the Spring semester. Can you do a post on Paris please?

    Posted on Reply
  24. Anonymous says:

    yay going to barcelona in april. wasn’t aware it was betchy.. even more excited now

    Posted on Reply
  25. Anonymous says:

    You are obvs not a betch.

    Posted on Reply
  26. Seriously? says:

    did you really just say: partying with spaniard, ew?
    if you went to any betchy clubs in barca then you would know that the men that go there are 100 times sexier and have alot more money

    Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    Sensation is in Barca this year.  And don’t forget La Merce. Barcelonians were basically born to party and never do work and this weekend was the best with free concerts and raves every night of the weekend (which started on Wednesday).  Beware of the party candy at row14…fucking splenda.

    Posted on Reply
  28. Anonymous says:

    Sensation is in barca this year. and you forgot La Merce.  Barcelonians love an excuse to party and not do work so they have set up this festival (which is supposed to honor a saint) which is actually an excuse to party and not have class. they hold free concerts during the early evening and raves that go all night long.  Spaniards are fucking hot, so if like dub step and spanish men, row14 is it. but don’t expect to leave before the sun rises as the club doesn’t close til 11 am. AND don’t spend your money on the party candy…fucking splenda.

    Posted on Reply
  29. barcaa says:

    yeahhh subways opened at 5am, but it was a nice try.

    Posted on Reply
  30. Alex says:

    Ew, shoko is the ugly step sister to opium.

    Posted on Reply
  31. Carla says:

    So wack

    Posted on Reply
  32. Keelin says:

    Ill be visiting Barcelona Oct 21-24…. I need to know where exactly I must eat, drink, party, and falll in love with a ridiculously handsome Spainiard!  Im so into music, so if anyone has any idea what dj’s will be around? how to get drugs? oh and should i stay near las ramblas? i figured that is a pretty good central location.  Thanx Betches!

    Posted on Reply
  33. KikeBarcelona says:

    This site its the best site ever !!! Barcelona is the best place in Europe to study abroad !!!! Can someone show some love to AFROJACK MARCH 3RD at OPIUM in Barcelona ? woke up the next morning with 1500 imbox : BEST NIGHT OF MY TIME ABROAD !!!!

    Thank you all !!!

    Posted on Reply
  34. anonymous says:

    Opium IS lame and has way old peopleeeee.

    Posted on Reply
  35. lovemesomebarcelona says:

    if you think kyke is shady, you obviously did not have fun abroad because he’s the best.

    Posted on Reply
  36. Leo Messi says:

    Hands down the best place ive ever been in my life.  While i was there i met a promoter named Kyke Navarro and he was amazing!!!! he got us into any club we wanted, hooked us up endlessly with drinks and shots and brought avicii there too spin for one of the best nights of my life.  He also showed us around the city and got us into hotel arts for night to remember. Ive never met in my life that party’s like this kid!!!!!!

    Posted on Reply
  37. Barthelonaaaa says:

    Loco lunes were the best nights in Barcelona, Sutton hottest guys ive seen. Kyke or Kike? Def Kyke even though i did enjoy some nights with kike. They can just not compare to Kyke’s partys. Shady but popular and born and raised in Barcelona. he is living the dream. crazy in the head, sexy and definetely not nice. Kike probably ‘‘too nice’‘. Razzmatazz EWWWWWWWW, shoko ok, Opium legit.

    Posted on Reply
  38. eric koston says:

    some comments def seem to people about them selves , shady ? yeah
    you are not a betch !!!!!!!!!

    Posted on Reply
  39. Lucientedelfuegoantoniomiro says:

    This is absolutely hilarious and describes the experience to a key. Some add ons- beaches are crap in the city and filled with foreigners selling shady beer that won’t leave you alone. take a 25 min train ride south from sants estacio to sitges and walk to the beach (couple minutes), its beautiful there (or take a 15 min ride to castadelfels, although not as nice). there’s a labyrinth here for your smokecapade after park guell. go to mont juic and see the old olympic stuff place great views of the city or go to the MACBA and get your skater bro on in the world famous skate spot. FC Barca game is a must. Also don’t eat anywhere with signs in english, it’s a trap. Avoid la rambla like the plague, super touristy and full of theives. walk down it once if you feel the urge, but cling to your money and don’t participate in any of the “street magic”. Check out the online magazine LeCool for all the hipster happenings of the week. Hit up passeitg de gracia for super famous gaudi buildings and ridiculously overpriced shopping.
    Also, drink cava, lots of it.

    Posted on Reply
  40. Kyke Navarro says:

    Finally someone that is speaking about how amazing is Barcelona and not about 2 promoters (me included) that at the end we are just promoters.Maybe i care or maybe i dont care everything that people say about me but as a catalan i am im so proud about how people never forget Barcelona even if they love me or they hate me.

    Visca el Barça i visca Catalunya!!!

    barcelona best city ever.

    KYke Navarro

    Posted on Reply
  41. Anonymous says:

    When’s the best time to go abroad? 2nd year or 3rd year of uni? I’m 1st year right now and I really wanna study abroad in Barcelona.

    Posted on Reply
  42. Anonymous says:

    sorry we don’t have a fast food chain at every single corner
    healthy, tasty and diverse food can be found in the city, you just need to be open-minded

    Posted on Reply
  43. Anonymous says:

    starbucks=god. what kind of betch are you?

    Posted on Reply
  44. michael jordan barcelona says:

    Barcelona is an amazing city , and working there as a promoter is amazing!
    If youre a party animal and you want to party 7 nights a week 365 days of the year come to Barcelona, cause you are gonna love this city!

    In my opinion its one of the best cities in the planet, i highly recommend it!

    MJB

    Posted on Reply
  45. Pere Arcediano says:

    It’s funny for someone from Barcelona to read a review of your city, from the eyes of a foreigner. About the food: you have no idea. Barcelona has some of the best restaurants around the world, just google a bit and you will see the strong culinary reputation of the city. About eating sushi (you kidding or what?), why not try something Mediterranean/Catalan which certainly you wouldn’t find elsewhere…the problem is that , you, as a “guiri”, just move around the touristy spots, but really, buy a travel guide, and you’ll find other than jamon…BTW welcome to Barcelona smile

    Posted on Reply
  46. T84 says:

    Thanks God I grew up in Barcelona, not Barça or Barca the city is BARCELONA. Our food is 100% times better than hamburguers, pizzas, kebabs or hot dogs, jamón, chorizo, paella, tortilla all diff kinds of fish are thousand time better than american diet, but if you prefer your food, you can keep it with you that i will still keeping Spanish food with me, and just one last thing: all clubs around the beack are made for you americans, and is one of the best places to be pickpocketing (99.99% from morroco or pakistan), that’s why we never go there!

    Spaniards don’t hate american, in fact I work for american and I love all of them, the only problem is that american in general don’t want to adjust to the Spanish/Catalan culture and we dont like this, if you are here, you have to act as Spanish, and respect us and our culture is not too smart say bad things about the city/country where you are living now if you don’t like it, it is really easy stay in the US!

    Posted on Reply
  47. T84 says:

    Thanks God I grew up in Barcelona, not Barça or Barca the city is BARCELONA. Our food is 100% times better than hamburguers, pizzas, kebabs or hot dogs, jamón, chorizo, paella, tortilla all diff kinds of fish are thousand time better than american diet, but if you prefer your food, you can keep it with you that i will still keeping Spanish food with me, and just one last thing: all clubs around the beack are made for you americans, and is one of the best places to be pickpocketing (99.99% from morroco or pakistan), that’s why we never go there!

    Spaniards don’t hate american, in fact I work for american and I love all of them, the only problem is that american in general don’t want to adjust to the Spanish/Catalan culture and we dont like this, if you are here, you have to act as Spanish, and respect us and our culture is not too smart say bad things about the city/country where you are living now if you don’t like it, it is really easy stay in the US!

    Posted on Reply
  48. Anonymous says:

    All!! And my reccomendation, look for a small program big programs they don’t take care of you, in small ones the staff will know every single thing about you and you about them something that will make you feel like at home ;D

    Posted on Reply
  49. Spanish Betch says:

    You couldn’t have put it any better

    Posted on Reply
  50. ULTIMATE BETCH says:

    Ibiza is the ultimate Betch city. You’re not a betch until you’ve lived that island. And if you’re a real Betch you’ll find your way into the real Ibiza crew and live it up in Stellar villas, VIP it up at Pacha and Amnesia. Oh and if you’re the ULTIMATE BETCH - you’ll be at Cocoon. Best party on the island. Only true Betches understand this lifestyle.

    Posted on Reply
  51. whatever says:

    what a pathetic review of Barcelona you are writing. The spaniards don’t steal purses, those are as said before poor people who targets drunk tourists basically. The Sagrada Familia is a place like no other in the world. mediterranean food is amazing and much more sane than others in the wolrd. you al just come here to spend your dollars doing things that you would never do in your country. don’t party with spaniards? oh please, we don’t need you. and yes, as others say, this is barcelona, not barca (word that means boat in spanish, tw). Writing this kind of reviews you are just giving the image of stupid uncultured, uneducated and arrogant americans. Luckily, there are many more visitors not acting as you should recommend to do. Unfortunately, the image of the USA and the study abroad students is worst every day. I know people that just can’t live in their homes, (which are so incredibly expensive to pay thanks to the increase of prices due to tourism) because of the parties that students throw every day of the week and they disrespectful behaviour, even pissing around the entrance of the building and many other things. The places where you go party and that you thing are “cool” are places where no one from barcelona was ever going before this study abroad fashion came out, so you are basically in places no one in barcelona wanted to be before. Many of the clubs changed the name just to try to have somebody in the clubs, and you think is the most exclusive place in the world. The drinks you pay at the very reasonable price of 200€ per bottle is basically a 10€ (in the best case) bottle, that you could get in any supermarket. The promoters just want your money,that’s their bussiness and you probably just want to smile in the camera and dress like a drunk “betche” around the beach in a cold february day. And yes, not everybody in the world speaks english, just try to remember that, please.

    Posted on Reply
  52. TheSlutQueen says:

    Spaniards are actaully pretty cool and hawt

    Posted on Reply
  53. madrid betch says:

    There NEEDS to be one of these about Madrid!!!!!

    Posted on Reply
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