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By The Betches on

So today is Presidents Day, a day we honestly don’t give a shit about but are inclined to like because our friends who usually work on Mondays can get drunk with us today. In honor of this random celebration of America's VIPs, we decided to broast the current commander in chief of the free world, Barack Hussein Obama II. Or as he's called in certain circles, Barry.

Now while most presidents are your typical rich pro, Barry stands out from the crowd in numerous ways. First, he was born in a truly betchy state, Hawaii, where he spent his youth chilling and cultivating his #27 tan (I mean, his black dad helped but whatever).

Since no one in Hawaii does any work because their schedules are jam-packed with luaus and volcanic episodes, Bar moved to LA and then NYC so he could go to Columbia Uni. Like a true betch he majored in political science, aka how to manipulate people in a democratic way, with a concentration in cutting lines.

He then attended Harvard Law like lawyer betch Elle Woods, where he learned the difference between malum in se and malum prohibitum, perfected his body with Brooke's Butt Buster workout, and broke in his purple clogs. What, like it's hard? Barry then went on to become a senator for like 5 mins and then America’s first half-black president. Casual.

We know another election is coming up and we could like, sit here and discuss the issues, but that would require us to 1) know what they are and 2) actually give a shit. Two things that are like, boring as fuck.

Now let’s talk about the fun scandalous shit we know about the Big O and his presidency. He has a lot of haters, Donald Trump thinks he’s a foreign born Arab Muzzie who makes gas prices really high, his wife Michelle has really nice arms and hates fat people, and he once called Kanye an asshole. B-dog also has some other celeb friends because when he asked them to be in his campaign video, they were all like, fuck yes we can. Oh yeah, and he killed his last-name-twin Osama bin Laden, or like, had his soldier minions do it. Whatev, he’s dead. Shots!

When asked about his family, Barry said, "I've got relatives who look like Bernie Mac, and I've got relatives who look like Margaret Thatcher," which reminds us of our other fav pseudo American/pseudo Muslim family, the Kardashians! And wait, Barack also conveniently loves basketball. Someone better tell this bro that Khloe K is single again, we smell a match made in TMZ heaven.

And we don't want the Donald to have a coronary or anything, but shadily Barack also ties his mother's family history to distant relatives of Jefferson Davis aka president of the south during the Civil War. Well this is awkward…

Anyway, love him or hate him, Barack is America’s tannest president and regardless of your politics, there’s something to be said for that. So in the spirit of this ray of proverbial sunshine gleaming through in the worst month of the year, we wish a happy President’s Day to you and Barry O. We thank him for showing the world that it doesn’t matter how much pot you smoked in high school, you too can one day be president of the greatest country in the fucking world.

 

120 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Anonymous says:

    come onnnnnn betches. “malum imsay” ??? it’s “malum in se” fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
  2. that betch says:

    anyone who is trying to tax the rich, which as a result actually forces betches to get a real job instead of living off their pros, is absolutely not broast material.

    Posted on Reply
    • leave says:

      get out. you can go shave your back now. also who cares about like world issues and stuff?

      Posted on Reply
  3. Anonymous says:

    true story. get your latin right betches

    Posted on Reply
  4. Anonymous says:

    No one cares… Your fat

    Posted on Reply
  5. Anonymous says:

    BETCHES FOR PREZ 2012

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    It doesn’t matter what your politics are, the betch can dress, has amazing arms, and landed quite the pro

    Posted on Reply
  7. ivygrad says:

    you’re a legitimate idiot if you think democratic taxation views are as simple as that. ignorant people like yourself are the reason there is a massive class rift in this county. try reading a newspaper before you open your (clearly uneducated) mouth again.

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    if the betches know those terms, they know how to spell them. it’s a joke relaxxx

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    if your “pro’s” income is so seriously affected by a tax hike, then he can’t be making that much money anyway.

    Posted on Reply
    • so true says:

      hahahaha sooo true

      Posted on Reply
  10. Betchlife says:

    Get outta here he’s a total bro. Betches don’t give a shit about politics. You’re awkward.

    Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    Before this post gets an unruly amount of praise and support for how “cool” Obama is without considering his standpoint on any issues—which, in turn, encourages people to take the same outlook if and when they vote in the upcoming election—lets review a couple legitimate facts about Obama.

    1. his plan to revitalize the economy is basically to tax all of your dads, pros, and potentially hardworking selves—and distribute that money to the people who sat in their piss for five months on wall street crying about how they were the 99%.
    2.besides the tax thats imposed on earnings…which can run as high to 35% on every dollar made…obama has put a tax on luxury things that betches and those more fortunate have worked the right to utilize aka…TANNING.

    anyone who puts a tax on tanning is a fucking anti-betch…yeah he might have a great natural tan himself, but he obviously does not prioritize it like betches do.

    so before you all start considering re-electing obama because he seems like a badass pro….just remember that in his eyes, he’s looking to equalize the system and making those who work hard and earn more top give to those who don’t do shit and make shit…so that we can all fucking shop at k-mart.

     

    Posted on Reply
    • Kate says:

      You’re gross. You can leave now.

      Posted on Reply
    • Betchocrat says:

      You are so fucking pathetic and idiot…I CAN’T. Like I don’t even know how to get it through to people with such dense skulls such as yours as to just how wrong you are. It’s ridiculous. I’m going to start by ignoring that whole tanning part because that’s an utter joke. If you don’t get that this website is written in sarcasm I don’t even know how you have the brain cells to remember to breath, but then again, thank God that’s instinctive…except in your case and people like you. You can just stop breathing because this world and this country don’t need your narcissistic pessimism and grandiose delusions. That 99% represents the people who work their asses off to get barely anywhere, that went to college to better their lives and are now reaping in the debt, that are striving to give their children all the opportunities they can while fat rich greedy fucks and thwart the system and manipulate it to their benefit. Fuck the 1% that doesn’t believe in the necessity of their giving back. To all the families who now get to live luxury lives because of the businesses they built from the ground up, I understand, and it’s not that they don’t deserve to be where they are, but there is no reason for millionaires to be getting away with tax evasion or tax cuts when there are families of teachers and fire fighters and everyday people struggling to stay afloat and pay their bills. You clearly have no real insight into the world we live in. Change needs to happen. People like you can go gag on a spoon.

      Posted on Reply
    • Anonymous says:

      While yes, I agree with your points that Obama sucks, let me please just point out that no one, in fact, will be reelecting Obama considering he’s already been elected twice! Good try though!!!!!!

      Posted on Reply
  12. Anonymous says:

    You are ignorant.  It’s YOU’RE fat, dumbass.  So go back to working on your communications major at your state school now, thanks

    Posted on Reply
  13. Anonymous says:

    You can’t say “fucking duh” about a misspelled LEGAL TERM. If they’d spelled “Louboutin” wrong, sure. But until all betches go to law school (which won’t happen unless we stop majoring in comm and marrying pros), you need to calm your tits, betch.

    Posted on Reply
  14. anon says:

    preach.

    Posted on Reply
  15. right wing betch says:

    right wing betch, im so over obama. although there are betchy points to be made for our president OBAMA (note i said president, not terrorist- don’t get it confused), he still sucks and has massively unbetchy political views. thanks to him, all the povos are benefitting from our dad’s/pro’s hard fucking work, and the only people that should benefit are betches like us… God i miss Dubya.

    Posted on Reply
  16. Rich Bitch says:

    Tots agree.  Obama gets his money from people like my parents and their taxes and 501 k a year, totally not broast material.

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    thank youuu, i appreciate this

    Posted on Reply
  18. seriously, says:

    shouldn’t you have to pass a urine test to collect your welfare check if my father has to pass one to earn it for you?

    Posted on Reply
    • Betchocrat says:

      How many fucking people do yo think are on welfare? It’s not even about that! And even then, what are we supposed to do? Continue to let people in poverty fall victim to their environment and situation? There are great minds that come out of the ghetto, but unfortunately too many of them die young or get sucked into bad habits. Just think, the more we can do to vanquish poverty the less you’ll have to see it and ever be disgusted by it again. I mean, I totally get that there are people that take way too much advantage of government assistance and are just legitimately no good lazy shits, but it seriously bugs me when the Betches make posts like these and suddenly all the insensitive egotistical idiots come out. Just don’t be so high on your horse, and give a fuck about humanity ok?

      Posted on Reply
  19. Anonymous says:

    seriously get a xanax, if your family can’t afford to help pay for american debt that’s really sad. but life isn’t always fair. if your dream is to watch the chinese people owning us than your right - taxes ... so unfair.
    calm down about equalizing the system, the rich and smart always end up on top… but may be thats not you.

    Posted on Reply
    • AMEN BETCH says:

      agree with you all the way…like if you’re fucking too poor to pay some higher taxes you shouldn’t be reading this website in the first place…

      Posted on Reply
  20. democratbetch says:

    republicans hate on gays and try to control women’s rights. not betchy.
    everyone knows that only the rich and intelligent can save the country from eternal debt and asian take over. but if your fam is struggling to pay taxes my guess is ... you aren’t really betchy

    Posted on Reply
  21. lawschoolbetch says:

    regardless of anyone’s political opinions, this is funny as shit.  Mrs. O for betch of the week, anyone who hates fat people is okay in my book.

    Posted on Reply
  22. Anonymous says:

    agreed. so all these ‘betches’ complaining about Barack can “suck on these Chinese nuts”.

    Posted on Reply
  23. TXbetch says:

    i’ve been saying this for forever.  It would be the fucking solution to like… everything.

    Posted on Reply
  24. anonymous says:

    this is hilarious, but your reference to purple clogs isn’t from legally blonde, it’s from clueless…

    mel “so what did you do in school today?”
    cher “well, i broke in my purple clogs”

    Posted on Reply
  25. republicanbetch says:

    not all republicans hate on gays or want to control women’s rights.  that’s old people and the crazy church group from kansas.

    Posted on Reply
  26. Anonymous says:

    Currently, ALL Republican candidates for President support ‘personhood statutes’ which would make birth control illegal. Which is a more crucial threat to our way of life? Having to pay more for something (long hair, don’t care) OR not having access to birth control. ever.

    Posted on Reply
  27. Kelly Clarkson says:

    Ron Paul is the true bro.  Not only is he a friend of the higher tax brackets unlike Obama, but also it’s adorbs that he delivered so many babies, he’s a friend of the #46 environment, and his most compelling stance: weed for all!!

    Posted on Reply
  28. ktelizabetty says:

    ugh tg i wasnt the only one who was only paying attention to the movie quotes. but i mean you didnt have to like, do an imdb search for the whole thing. like they get it.

    Posted on Reply
  29. Anonymous says:

    omg so many Legally Blonde & Clueless references it’s amazing.

    Posted on Reply
  30. anon says:

    Get YOUR facts straight. In our system of progressive taxation being in the top tax bracket does NOT mean that you pay 35% of every dollar earned in taxes, it means that every dollar beyond $379,000 is taxed at a 35% rate. Next time before you try to get the facts straight, I would recommend actually knowing what they are.

    Posted on Reply
  31. Anonymous says:

    Bahahaha. True betches are too smart and manipulative to waste their time in comm. #sorrynotsorry

    Posted on Reply
  32. Calm your shit says:

    Regardless of your politics or what you think about Obama, this post was totes hilar.  Fucking props betches.

    Posted on Reply
  33. Anonymous says:

    not all betches go to law school, but all betches go to private school and private school teaches latin. oops @ you.

    Posted on Reply
  34. Anonymous says:

    i know… Ron Paul would have been perfect :(

    Posted on Reply
  35. Anonymous says:

    Clearly there are two types of betches - Political betches (most likely from DC or went to NYU) and dumbass betches (OBAMA’S HOT!)

    Relax. At the end of the day all that really matters is what’s on the outside.

     

    Posted on Reply
  36. betchiest post yet says:

    I have a new found respect for the head betches after posting this. Awesome.. haha

    Posted on Reply
  37. Anonymous says:

    Orig betches are definitely back. This post was great.

    Posted on Reply
  38. Anonymous says:

    ok seriously who cares? this post was about everything BUT politics. i’d love to smoke a blunt with obama one day.

    Posted on Reply
  39. Anonymous says:

    “which reminds us of our other fav pseudo American/pseudo Muslim family, the Kardashians! “

    The Kardashians are Christian not Muslim. Get your facts straight!

    Posted on Reply
  40. Anonymous says:

    VOTE FOR RON PAUL BETCHES

    Posted on Reply
  41. anonymous says:

    chill the fuck out. next time you decide to post a backlash reply i highly suggest you refer to material that was actually written instead of scrutinizing your own reading of the post. regardless, what does it even matter? its the premise of the system. so just because you make (as in you WORKED FOR and EARNED) over $379,000…every dollar after that is taxed 35% to go to people who have been fucking sleeping in the streets for months? its like saying if you own more than 10 louboutins, you have to give 3 pairs to someone who doesn’t have them. or if your family has more than 4 BMWs, than one of them has to be traded in for three hondas, two of which go to people who don’t own a car. bet you wouldn’t be so gung-ho if you had to be the one to drive the honda because, oh sorry…your family could afford to have as many BMW’s as you wanted…but someone else who has been sitting on their lazy ass doesn’t have one so you can’t have any more BMW’s and the only car you can buy going forward is a honda.

    i’m all for charity, but whats the fucking incentive for people to do shit in this country if we have a “president” who is promoting the idea that if you sit around and do fucking nothing, someone is going to shell out money to you that someone else worked for. when has “it’s not fair” ever been a viable excuse for anything?

    Posted on Reply
    • Don't be so selfish says:

      Not all poor people are lazy. That is such a HUGE misconception. American has really low social mobility - it’s almost impossible to work your way up from nothing. Many poor people work 2 or 3 jobs and still don’t make enough to support their family- my dad doesn’t think having to pay a little more in taxes is such a bad thing if it means a family somewhere else doesn’t go hungry.

      Posted on Reply
    • T says:

      Yeah because you really need those four BMWs, or because giving a 16yo new driver a BMW makes sense in the first place, not that you said that but because there are families that do that when obvi that kid’s going to wreck it in a month, so chill and be thankful for even getting a fuckng Honda betch. Also just because a person is low income doesn’t mean they sit on their asses all day. Think about a plumber or exterminator or the hairstylist that has to touch your grody ass head. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.

      Posted on Reply
  42. Anonymous says:

    I wonder if you realize how much you just contradicted yourself. You want us to “stop bitching about equalizing” and yet you say the best and smartest end up on top. Do you want to be a dirty commi? Listen here dumbass, if you feel like playing robin hood, be my guest but take it to a different fucking country! I like being better than everyone else. Thanks.

    Posted on Reply
  43. Anonymous says:

    It’s actually $250k. Get your facts straight bitch.

    Posted on Reply
  44. Anonymous says:

    “old people and the crazy church group from kansas”? then why are republican politicians nationwide currently trying to make it more difficult for us to get abortions (god forbid we’d need to) and for our GBFF’s to have fabulous weddings? pay attention to your shit and stop believing everything your conservative daddy tells you about the world.

    Posted on Reply
  45. Anonymous says:

    if you were really a betch, your dad/pro/whomever would see “taxes” as petty fucking cash, and then go out and buy another mazerati. give me a fucking break. you’re making it clear that you know nothing about how the world works.

    Posted on Reply
  46. Anonymous says:

    Bahahahaha. I love this with every part of my 100 pound betchy self. Well said. Obama is definitely not a bro, or a pro, and they’re obviously just making sure they don’t lose their audience by trying to appeal to all types of people, which is totes understandable. We all learned this from Regina George: “Omg! I love your skirt, where’d you get it?” “Oh my it was my mom’s in the 19whatevers.” “Oh! Vintage, love it!” (Turns around) “That is the ugliest effing skirt I have ever seen.”

    Posted on Reply
  47. nonny says:

    obama is a total bro. if you’re afraid of him taxing your “rich” daddy or pro you are obviously poor. if you’re actually rich, why should giving away more money matter?

    Posted on Reply
  48. Anonymous says:

    Whatever, they look fucking Muslim. Or some shit. Get over it. Besides, Muslim is a religion, not an ethnicity. But GOD FORBID that a white person flips shit if someone calls them a Christian, when they are clearly Catholic. OMG. <—- I realize that is absolutely ridiculous, but that’s how I feel when people of color FREAK out. Racism will never cease to exist unless you let it, betch.

    Posted on Reply
  49. Anonymous says:

    Omg can we be bffs??? Theres nothing anyone can say that can argue what you just said.

    Posted on Reply
  50. agreeing with her says:

    hahaha. SO TRUE. my thoughts exactly. anyone who tries to take down me and my best gay friend? not okay. and chinese taking more control over our country, which is the best in the world? SOOO not okay.

    Posted on Reply
  51. Yawn says:

    Totally not betchy to care about whatever issues you’re arguing about. Yawn. *digs into my Celine bag for a cigarette*

    Posted on Reply
  52. Anonymous says:

    i know, right?  her “let’s move” project is all about getting fat people skinny.  if fat people were skinny they’d quit eating as much and everyone could have more money to spend on betchy sh*t instead of that money going toward feeding fat people.

    Posted on Reply
  53. Nobama says:

    Obama (ew) sucks, so thanks but no thanks.

    Posted on Reply
  54. Anonymous says:

    You’re an idiot. It’s not strictly about the money it’s also about the time spent getting the money (the hard work through years of education and waking up at the ass crack of dawn to get to work and getting home late at night). You get what fucking deserve, if you work hard it should pay off, if you sit on your ass then you deserve to get shit. Like seriously why do we promote mediocrity in this country?..AND clearly you’re not rich if you support this view, you’re probably just a poor low life betch that is living off the dollar of everyone else. SOOOO stop speaking

    Posted on Reply
  55. Anonymous says:

    Who cares? Obama is so hilarious without the politics. I’m surprised this is the first entry about him.
    If the presidency were based on looks alone, B-Oba would definitely be there for four more years raspberry

    Posted on Reply
  56. womp says:

    you tell em, they’re obvs not a betch and are probably celebrating fat tuesday right now instead of mardi gras. fucking fat ass un-betch.

    Posted on Reply
  57. Anonymous says:

    The last thing I’m gonna do is vote for Obama this November. HELL TO THE NO. and p.s. thank God there are actually some smart betches out there…
    & loved this post betches!!! great work

    Posted on Reply
  58. Wtf says:

    Betches aren’t liberfals who care about the poor fucking duhhh this post is a fail #embarrassing #vom.com

    Posted on Reply
  59. Anonymous says:

    If you used birth control (properly) like a real Betch, you wouldn’t need an abortion. Plus, betches never make mistakes, and wouldn’t an abortion be admitting to having made one?

    Get a life and hop on the conservative side of the fence.

    Posted on Reply
  60. Anonymous says:

    Muslim is pretty different than Christianity. Actually, it’s not pretty different, it’s REALLY FUCKING different. Catholicism is a BRANCH of Christianity, NOT a different religion. Therefore, Catholics ARE Christian. It’s understandable for a “person of color” to “FREAK” out over someone confusing them over Muslim and Christian because THEY ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT RELIGIONS. ignorance will never cease to exist unless you let it.  FYI i’m not a person of color, so does that make it alright for me to freak out, betch?

    Posted on Reply
  61. Anonymous says:

    Because then I will have more to inherit.

    Posted on Reply
  62. Anonymous says:

    you’re probably jewish. fcking liberals.

    Posted on Reply
  63. Anonymous says:

    excuse me? PR is one of the betchiest majors. #notdoingwork

    Posted on Reply
  64. Anonymous says:

    I’d rather wear a pair of shoes from Goodwill than vote for Obama in November

    Posted on Reply
  65. Anonymous says:

    everyone here arguing about politics is moronic - this post is about pretty much everything BUT politics and the election, they wrote a post on obama because it was PRESIDENT’S DAY. they would’ve written about whoever was president regardless of their political party, idiots.

    also you say, how can the betches like obama who raises taxes on rich people? yet they wrote a post about loving the 1% like a month ago. your criticisms are senseless bc these posts are so clearly apolitical…but what to expect from someone who uses a satire blog for anorexic girls as an outlet to express their views on progressive taxes.

    ALSO obviously no one taught you that its annoying and pretentious to argue about politics with strangers and in public . no one here gives a fuck about your political opinions, there are websites devoted to it though so you should get off this one and go find people who care.

    Posted on Reply
  66. Anonymous says:

    Obama’s a fucking NF liberal GDI. Get this shit outta here.

    Posted on Reply
  67. Anonymous says:

    hahahah, love this.

    Posted on Reply
  68. legallyblondebetch says:

    purple clogs are from clueless not legally blonde… fucking duh

    Posted on Reply
  69. anonymous says:

    Before Nobama was our fellow Brobama, he was all for legalizing medicinal marijuana…. But after his election he made more medical marijuana busts than any president has before. Therefore your dad’s/pro’s taxed money is put into jails that have to contain these prisoners arrested for “marijuana crimes”. Betches keep their promises, bitches don’t. Whatthefuckhasobamadone.com

    Posted on Reply
  70. Anonymous says:

    Racism is not betchy. It makes you look uneducated…which you probably are.

    Posted on Reply
  71. Anonymous says:

    Doesn’t matter. Betches don’t like being told what to do. Especially what to do with our bodies. Making your own decisions is way betchy.

    Posted on Reply
  72. Anonymous says:

    True betches are republican. Duh.

    Posted on Reply
  73. You'redumb says:

    If you were smart you would know that Santorum is anti-birth control. Oh and he’s leading in the polls. Or at least that’s what my pro told me. And he’s rich enough that he doesn’t give a shit about his tax bracket. Conservatism=not betchy. Sorry. You can go shave your backhair now. Bye Jason.

    Posted on Reply
  74. Hahahah says:

    You probably dress at Guess too. Cute! I love dumb people! Aw.

    Posted on Reply
  75. Um says:

    If your dad has to take a urine test at all, he’s probably not the one who should be paying their welfare check. That’s why we should be taxing the top tax brackets. My family has more than enough money to go around. And my dad never had to pee in a cup to earn that money. Sucks to suck, bitch.

    Posted on Reply
  76. And says:

    And that’s how we know you’re poor. The fact that you even thought about the amount of time going into working shows you’re not a betch. We want to give away money to show everyone that we can. And getting money from the government is so unbetchy that we know we’re better, all the while helping our fellow man eat. (I know. Ew, who eats?) Still we get to feel good and you get to look uneducated. Plus we’re still rich. So suck on that bitter reality. Enjoy your H&M scarves. Sorry I’m not sorry.

    Posted on Reply
  77. Anonymous says:

    anyone who is poor enough to care about a little government taxing here or there is clearly trailer park trash, and by default not a betch. #sorryyourepoor… wait, no i’m not.

    Posted on Reply
  78. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, looking down on people for their inferior genetics isn’t what this site is about. At all.

    It’s good to see your black history month is going swimmingly.

    Posted on Reply
  79. Anonymous says:

    “republicans…try to control women’s rights.”

    I go to abortion rallies to meet chicks like you, because I know you’ll fuck me.

    Posted on Reply
  80. likestfu says:

    Republicans are overall just stupid and hypocritical. Just because your rich father brainwashed you into believing these old, child molester looking morons doesn’t mean you’re superior to anything or anyone. If America really is the best country would you not want to keep it clear of hobos pissing everywhere? Like we need some freaky, close-minded, rodent faced, gynecologist running the country. Like if that happens have fun with no birth control, cramps, and a fucking baby. Or you could just get an abortion like most of the republicans’ wives/daughters do anyway when they finally fucking come to their senses. Get real..

    Posted on Reply
  81. fucking duh says:

    Nobody’s trying to make birth control illegal, dumb bitch.  Just because you’re not good at #notfuckingbros doesn’t mean that you should get birth control for free.  Pay for it yourself.

    Posted on Reply
  82. sc girl <3 says:

    do you copy paste that to every post, or…..

    Posted on Reply
  83. Anonymous says:

    Literally can’t stand how unbelievably retarded you are and considering i go to one of the most expensive schools on the east coast pretty sure I’m not poor. You’re the type of person turning this country to shit. I’ll be loving life working in NYC on wall street while I pay for your daily dose of mcdonalds and cocaine you low life betch.

    Posted on Reply
  84. Anonymous says:

    i agree libs are the furthest thing from betches

    Posted on Reply
  85. Anonymous says:

    Obama wants to make everyone equal, so while you might be rich now, Obama is going to take so much of your daddy’s “petty cash that you’re at the same level as everyone else. I’m a betch, so I like being above everyone else.

    Posted on Reply
  86. Anonymous says:

    Excuse me, what betch fucking bakes? We obvs go to st. barts or hawaii or some other private island (props if it’s your own) for our legit golden tans. And for emergencies, spray-tans obvi. Sorry, skin cancer is totes not betchy. Neither is Jersey Shore or that horrid over-tanned Jersey mom with her 10 minutes of anti-fame. Tax the shit out of them. DGAF.

    Posted on Reply
  87. Shanny says:

    Ugh, the head betches are clearly drinking the kool-aid, and don’t let their political beliefs go unnoticed.  BEING LIBERAL IS NOT BETCHY.  Plain and simple.

    Posted on Reply
    • Juliet says:

      Looking like you is not betchy either. Also- Shanny is an embarrassing name. Sucks to be you!

      Posted on Reply
    • Conservative betch says:

      Shanny is totally right. Why would a betch want to be considered a low class, poor person who lives off of welfare? Just because he’s black does not make him “cool.” This is the worst post yet.

      Posted on Reply
  88. avehansen says:

    wait…but kim k isn’t single?

    Posted on Reply
  89. Catherine says:

    FINALLY! Obama is awesome.

    Posted on Reply
  90. womp. says:

    The Kardashians are Armenian, meaning they’re Christian not Muslim.  duh

    Posted on Reply
  91. Um. says:

    Do you guys have any idea how high taxes were before Reagan? 35% is nothing compared to how the tax rate on the top bracket used to be. Also, look at people like Mitt Romney, who only paid 14% taxes. Nobody actually pays the full rate. Barak is just suggesting hey look we had a surplus under Clinton maybe we should set taxes back up to levels under him, that seemed to work out pretty well.
    Also Barak supports gay rights and women’s rights; I think we all want our gay besties to be able to get married and to be able to get our birth control without any problems.

    Posted on Reply
    • exactly says:

      get your facts straight losers. barack is the bomb

      Posted on Reply
  92. Lawlz says:

    “Oh yeah, and he killed his last-name-twin Osama bin Laden, or like, had his soldier minions do it. Whatev, he’s dead. Shots!” dying betches, dying. nice

    Posted on Reply
  93. cristen says:

    for fuck’s sake, i can’t with all the libs who are convinced all republicans hate gays & women. i just think i should be rewarded, not penalized, for my success. America has always been a country that has helped the bottom 10%. check out some of the statistics on welfare dependents, and then try to sign up on healthcare.gov… maybe then you’ll stop watching MSNBC and praising Obama for all of his lies. didn’t even spend a full term in the Senate before he got elected the leader of the free world… what a fucking joke.

    Posted on Reply
  94. Wow... says:

    My favorite part of these arguments were the two who said they are definitely not voting for Obama in November. Oh really? Yeah, I guess I’m not either considering he’s at the end of his second term and can’t run again.

    Posted on Reply
    • Yes says:

      HAHA THIS ^^^

      Posted on Reply
  95. ew says:

    love Obama, but Michelle? no. a) she dresses like shit, sorry, and it’s even more pathetic bc she probably has an actual stylist b) her entire arm/torso situation makes her look like a female bodybuilder just starting her training. would never want that. and her whole “let’s move” campaign is to weight issues what the war on drugs is to drugs: terribly misguided and targeting the wrong things. we have a national PSYCHOLOGICAL crisis with food and trading cookies for carrots barely scratches the surface.

    Posted on Reply
  96. Gay Male Betch says:

    Y’all need to smoke a fucking joint, and pop a fucking Xanax. Like seriously. Fer’fuck sakes.

    Peace and Love,

    Gay Male Betch

    Posted on Reply
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