Betch Factor: 5.5
The betch who lives in DC: doesn't actually live there, except for maybe in the northwest quarter. Otherwise she most likely comes from Potomac, Bethesda, Chevy Chase, or McLean, Virginia; but if someone asks, she'll say she's "from DC." In truth though, she's only familiar with the average ghetto parts from when she was forced to paint some ugly fucking crack den public school for community service in high school.
My house may be white but I'm a tan mother fuckerThe DC betch is WASPy even if she's Jewish, and she went to private school at Georgetown Day, Holton, NCS (omg, Mean Girls is like, ABOUT my school), Maret, or Sidwell (omg, Sasha Obama is like, IN my sister's class) . For the public school betches, Churchill or Whitman. She whored around with the Landon boys until she realized they only liked her because she was the Most Valuable Slut in their sex fantasy league.
You can always find a DC betch at her country club, whether it’s Chevy, Kenwood, Congressional, or Woodmont. If everyone in the greater DC area hasn’t been to your country club’s 4th of July party then it’s probably because you’re poor, or a socialist Democrat.
After college she moves to DuPont/Foggy Bottom area where she gets a job in basically anything but politics. Though we give DC itself a lot of credit for running shit in the best country in the world, betches have no time for that. Your #55 dad could like, own the Treasury, but you probs still think John McCain is president. That's because a DC betch has other things on her mind, like how to find a lacrosse bro who will take her on dates to Michel Richard’s restaurants. She also needs to manipulate a #62 pro politician to marry her before cheating on her getting elected to office. She's just biding her time until she achieves Potomac mom status, complete with a malt black Range Rover and surgically enhanced boobs to match.
The post-college social scene revolves around going to galas and fundraisers. These might be for ridiculous causes like Nutrition Awareness for Miniature Beagles or Diabetes Prevention for Overprivileged Youth but a smart betch knows it's not about giving back, it's about being seen giving back.
[Aside: The exception to the native DC betch is the GW or Georgetown* betch who came there for college because she has rich parents and thought it would be fun place to go to pretend she cares about the government or like, date someone who does - like notable betchy alum Jackie Kennedy and Alec Baldwin. She practically considers herself a DC native until she immediately moves to NYC after graduation.]
The betch who visits: is probably there visiting her bestie at GW (like, why would I give a shit about the Lincoln Memorial, I'm going to see Melissa and Nikki's new apartment!), because while DC is a legit place, it's not exactly the number 1 party town. It's hard to blackout in a place where everyone and their mother is trying to get elected and therefore has to avoid doing things like blacking out. Like, the biggest celebration to go down there in recent years was when Osama died. And even then people were only drinking beer, ew.
The place to be is in Georgetown, shopping at boutiques by day, lunching at the original Sweet Green, and drinking at bars by night, all courtesy of your local Congressman dad, fucking duh.
Ugh poor people, get off my lawn
The betch avoids: the monuments and talking about politics. Snoozefest. Don’t ask a DC betch if she's seen the historical landmarks. She hasn’t. Sorry but the only oval shaped room thing I'm trying to go near is the mouthpiece of my bong. Frankly, the only kind of monument we'd marginally be interested in seeing is one glorifying us. Unfortunately Sarah Palin, the only woman to make it anywhere near the White House while also doing nothing, couldn't even get elected, so it's unlikely there's a stone-statued betch anywhere near the Washington monument.
The betch also avoids traffic circles, any association to the Real Housewives of DC, Georgetown Cupcakes, and the national mall. Though the national mall may sound like a utopian village, it's actually where boring political bros and obese tourists with camera necklaces hang out.
Would've scored higher if not for: all the people there who care too much and keep up with the news. Oh and the ghetto. My brother has seen The Wire.** We know it's bad.
*Chill the fuck out. **We know.
excuse me but alec baldwin graduated from nyu
Posted on — Replypublic school and betch are mutually exclus. come on!! unless you’re going to college at a flagship state university with a killer party scene, which is decidedly betchy but only if you play it off correctly.
oh, and georgetown is way betchier than GW, but both are infinitely betchier than american, which is betchier than catholic for obv reasons.
but in conclusion, DC is prime for pro hunting which is why i will be getting a PR job there after college to find my georgetown law school pro.
Posted on — Replythe wire is about baltimore which is an hour away from dc.
Posted on — ReplyThankfully, The Wire is about Baltimore.
Posted on — ReplyIs filmed in Baltimore, not DC. Also you forgot Georgetown University-way more preppy, WASPY, and exclusive then GW.
Posted on — ReplyIn response to NYUBetch : The article states that it would be a “fun place to go to pretend she cares about the government or like, date someone who does - like notable betchy alum Jackie Kennedy and Alec Baldwin.” So, yes he graduated from NYU, but he does care about politics. Betches need to learn to read.
Posted on — ReplyFyi GW is the least betchy school. Everyone knows all the top knotch betches attend Georgetown. Check the rankings
Posted on — ReplyWait… Betches are Republican? That sucks…. Love this article though! Ive lived in Alexandria my entire life and went to private schools Arington.
Posted on — ReplyThe fact that you list GW and not Georgetown is a joke we all know GW stands for Georgetown Waitlist. And hahaha yes perfect about Georgetown Cupcakes ew
Posted on — Replytop knotch betches do NOT go to Georgetown. GWU betches are infinitely richer, hotter, and live in a betchier/more city like area. DUH. Georgetown girls are preppy has-beens..that’s why Georgetown pros look to GWU betches for some fun
Posted on — ReplySmith Point?
Posted on — Replylove sweetgreen. obsessed.
Posted on — ReplyIf you think dc isn’t fun, you clearly aren’t aware of the dc betch scene. True betches live in Glover, party at the list-only bars in georgetown, and have friends who dock their yachts along the waterfront all summer
Posted on — Reply1.) NYUbetch - Alec Baldwin graduated GW undergrad. So, duh.
Posted on — Reply2.) Wrong - Georgetown U was mentioned. Duh.
And,
3.) GW is extremely betchy. Soooo, duh.
Can no one read the “*we know” 5 words after the wire*
... Fucking retards I swear
Posted on — Replywho the fuck relevant went to Maret? Holy Child (if you’re a slut and rich), Stone Ridge and Visitation (if you’re smart and rich), and Holy Cross (if you’re a slut and almost legally retarded) are the other ones worth mentioning. also, Mean Girls is based off a book that is based off NCS - so you can thank us for Regina George
Posted on — Reply1.) NYUbetch - Alec Baldwin graduated GW undergrad. So, duh.
Posted on — Reply2.) Wrong - Georgetown U is mentioned. Duh.
And,
3.) GW is extremely betchy. Sooooo, duh.
you forgot to mention all the trueblood DC betches who HATE it when all her betchy high school friends SAY they live in DC. but totes live like 5 minutes outside of it…
Posted on — Replyyou betches forgot to add the influx of military men into once enjoyable georgetown bars making it a sloppy shit show of cheapass weirdos
Posted on — ReplyUgh fucking NCS. hate those hos
Posted on — Replyhaha this is so stupid. Everyone who’s from DC knows you don’t go out in georgetown. You can shop or eat there but the bars suck. Also, chevy chase? what the fuck? suburban ghetto. The only acceptable suburban areas outside of DC are arlington & mcLean. Everyone else says “NOVA” and sounds like a fucking idiot. Real betches live in northwest DC, and are respectable. The betch who wrote this has obviously never been to dc.
Posted on — ReplyHave YOU ever bee to DC? Chevy Chase and Bethesda (right outside of NW) are full of betches. Hello, 20814 is one of the wealthiest zipcodes in the country. Not to mention the shopping in Friendship and Congressional! No one goes to Virginia for anything but Tysons 2. Fucking duh.
But I would say that GDS is not betchy at all, Visi is (and I say this even though they are our rivals).
Posted on — Replyhe went to GW before transferring to NYU. So both are correct.
Posted on — Replyjust sayin, it’s all about NOVA
Posted on — ReplyAnd Alec Baldwin started at GW before transferring.
Posted on — ReplyAgreed. Georgetown is Way Way Way WAY more exclusive, preppy and WASPY than GW. But we actually know about politics, unlike some of the other schools…
Posted on — ReplyAnyone who is anyone attends Georgetown, NOT GW.
Posted on — Replyare you people fucking retarded??? did you fail to notice the asterisks after the line about the wire? come on. they just needed to highlight the fact that baltimore and dc both have major ghettos. wooooooow.
Posted on — ReplyClearly you haven’t been to Foggy Bottom during rush week. Betches be coming out of the woodwork. Georgetown has no Greek, so there are plenty of individual betches, but at GW it is the institution that runs the social life of so much of the university. Georgetown just so desperately wants to be better than everyone else that they even want to be betchier, which I guess is so petty that it may actually qualify them.
Posted on — Replyumm hello the retards ranting about how “The Wire was filmed in Baltimore” and the differences between “GW and Georgetown” need to CTFO.
An asterisk is the little star you see next to the word or phrase. At the bottom of the page is an explanation. The Betches know what they’re saying isn’t like right, they’re just saying it to make a point, fuckin’ duh idiot betches.
ask Google if you need more clarification or like do a victory lap at your (obviously) public high school to go learn some more shit.
Posted on — Replywow. I’m really happy you georgetown girls nagged enough to get put in the blog post.
Posted on — ReplyGW is way better than Georgetown.
Posted on — ReplyAlec Baldwin transferred from GW to NYU after losing the race for Student Association President.
Posted on — ReplyWhoever said public school and betch are mutually exclusive clearly isn’t from MoCo. If you don’t know what that means then don’t comment. MoCo is notoriously one of the best and wealthiest counties in the country and Whitman and Churchill are the epitome of that. They’re just as betchy as Beverley Hills High and Pacific Palisides. We make up the 1% with them, fucking duh. And GW is extremely betchy arguably as much as Georgetown because it’s full of rich kids who are gory and want to party and live in excess. Georgetown is obviously preppy but being a top school it also has its fair (and large) share of I’ll-dressed nerds. Being a Bethesda-bred betch, I know my shit, get your facts correctly or say nothing. The Betches wouldn’t say something if they hadn’t done their research.
Posted on — Replythe people at georgetown are wayyy too serious and do too much work… they dont even take you in the dorms or anything on the tour they only show you the outside… only a nice girl or a bitchy wannabe would choose a college based on academics and umm architecture? vom.com
Posted on — Reply“Georgetown Day, Holton, NCS, Sidwell or Maret” are probably the least betchiest schools in the DC area. Those are schools where fat, fugly flosers go. The best private schools are Visitation, Holy Cross, Holy Child and Stone Ridge. I forgot Maret even existed. Do your research if you’re going to publish this shit. XOXO
Posted on — Replycheck the admissions stats for visi, holy cross, holy child, and stone ridge…I think you will find that not only are they easy for pretty much any vapid brainless girl from the bottom of their middle school class to get in but they also can’t get into any good colleges. Check the matriculation lists and you’ll see any successful DC betch came from GDS, Holton, NCS, Sidwell or Maret…
Posted on — ReplyYou must be kidding me if you think Holy Cross, Holy Child, and Stone Ridge are the best schools in the DC area??? Sidwell, GDS, Holton, NCS, and Maret are all much better academically. Ew holy child
Posted on — ReplyNot even comparable on the betch scale. GW is Georgetown’s less smart, flashy step sister… or foreign exchange student.
Posted on — Replydemi more and rob lowe made georgetown look betchy in the 80s… but these days i think its full of asian nerds who try too hard.
Posted on — ReplyOH em gee, Christian betches!
Posted on — Replya true betch flaunts where she’s really from.
Posted on — Replyexcept that holton ncs and maret are more expensive than all of those catholic schools and thus more betchy.
Posted on — ReplyGlad this mentioned the private high schools that it did. Maret and NCS are where the majority of the stories from “Queen Bees and Wannabees” came from—aka the movie “Mean Girls.” Plus the funniest thing about Sidwell/Maret/NCS betches is that they thrive on preaching about how they hate betches….but are still total betches and love it.
Posted on — ReplyGreat Falls, which could own all the cities you mentioned betch
Posted on — Replythe “we know” was an addendum made by the author after many people commented that the wire was filmed in baltimore. it was not part of the original post.
great use of the word “retard” though. you are awesome.
Posted on — ReplyAlright so,
this is totes accurate with the places, because bethesda/chevy chase, potomac, and mcclean are the nicest places..where all the betches live.
however i go to public school in potomac and minus the country clubs, the rest is pretty accurate for a lot of the betches at my school too.
georgetown isn’t the prime hang out because betches would rather party in peoples basements or go to regal than drive alllllll the way to georgetown. georgetown is pretty nice though and people go there occasionally.
betches in the metropolitan area (just outside of DC), aren’t dumb though. moco is one of the best and wealthiest counties in the nation, with some of the best high schools.
betches might be out getting wasted on the weekends, but during the week they’re cramming for 5 AP exams. and the only reason DC and the monuments get boring is because we’ve all been there 500x times.
Posted on — Replythe “we know” was an addendum made by the author after a couple of people wrote that the wire was in baltimore. it was not a part of the original post.
great use of the word “retard” though. you are awesome.
Posted on — ReplyGeorgetown, WASPy??? Georgetown is a JESUIT school which makes it by definition not a White, Anglo-Saxon PROTESTANT school.
Sorry to be so exclusive, but “anyone who’s anyone” from the DC area travels down to The University of Virginia to attend school.
Posted on — ReplyWho ever is Bethesdabetch who wrote “umm” you got it! You should have written this article… whoever did doesn’t know DC
Posted on — Replyright though? must the word “unfortunately” be used when describing Palin not getting elected into office? i was more than a little bummed to read that….
Posted on — Replylovin this DC post, but betches actually do go to the monuments. We affectionately call it “monument trippin” and we will go walk around the monuments at night, occasionally tipsy, and take cutesy betchy photos in front of various lit up monuments so all the bitches out there know we are THE dc betches.
Posted on — ReplyGeorgetown Day, Holton, NCS, Sidwell or Maret have by far the richest, classiest, most elite betches. Stone Ridge, Holy Cross, etc. are for unbetchy, tacky tacky taaaacky-ass losers who live way out in ghetto MD/VA.
Posted on — ReplySo true! Annual tuition at Visi is $23,500. Stone Ridge is $25,000.
Maret, Sidwell, and Holton charge upwards of $31,000 a year.
Posted on — Replyew those are really unbetchy schools. girls who go to those schools live in gross parts of maryland and wear uggs every day. they also love abercrombie and cannot get enough of their mediocre education. suburbia isn’t betchy, it’s tacky and trashy. if you’re the elite of DC (like me, duh) then you attend GDS, NCS, Sidwell, or Maret. that’s just the truth. deal with it.
Posted on — Replyoh you mean only schools filled with dumb bitchy blond girls are good? sorry im a little confused…
Posted on — Replyso only schools filled with super bitchy blond idiots are good? sorry, i got confused…
Posted on — ReplyHolton??? Ugh fucking ew. They’re all fugly hos that go to an equally fugly school. Seriously, it looks like a public school with its one hallway, blue lockers, and white linoleum floors. Gross. All those bitches think they’re the shit with their expensive brand but USED cars… but they’re all dumb as fuck. And they suck at ALL sports. Seriously, they’re pathetic.
Posted on — Replywow maybe if you’re a tacky slore who doesn’t know the difference between a chardonnay and a sauvignon blanc. maret is full of betches who understand the concept of class and who are smart enough to succeed at an elite private school in one of the most powerful cities in the world. we’re rich, we’re intelligent, we’re classy, and we’re betches. go take tacky homecoming pics by a pool or some shit like that and leave the betching to the experts.
Posted on — ReplyWhy is Holy Child not on this list? Holy Child is where it’s at!
Posted on — ReplyEHS betches be da best…we shell out dat ca$h. all des otha schoolz be for lezes. co-ed 4 lyfe
Posted on — ReplyHow the fuck did the Betches forget that Bradley Cooper went to Georgetown? Do you not keep up with sexiest man in Hollywood?
Posted on — ReplyThere’s not enough space in DC for all our cars. There’s a reason Tysons Galleria is in McLean.
Posted on — Replyno matter how highly rated your schools are in montgomery county, public school is public school. if you have the option to go to private school, why go public? sorry that the president doesn’t send his kids to your alma mater.
Posted on — Reply“socialist Democrat” - haha! Love it
Posted on — ReplyYou’re all a bunch of dumb, vapid, status-obsessed whores. You’d be better served authoring a blog discussing laundry and cooking techniques. Please leave the humor and social commentary to people who are actually funny.
Posted on — Reply“Anyone who’s anyone” who isn’t smart enough or rich enough to attend a top 20 school
Posted on — Replyformer Betch of the Week Rachel Zoe and her “husband”/ gay bff Rog also went to GW. and for everyone insisting the Georgetown is soo much betchier than GW.. don’t forget GW is the most expensive college around. And if you think that doesn’t mean anything, you’re on the wrong website.
Posted on — Replycatholic betches are tacky
Posted on — Replyhaha just read this post to my mom… quote from her: “Oh but GWU is so jewish!” That pretty much sums it up; Georgetown is about 10 million times better than the comparatively unbetchy and unexclusive GW.
Posted on — Replybetches do not “party in peoples basements”....are we still in middle school?
Posted on — Replycouldn’t agree more. went to chantilly high where hs just breeds future socialite betches
Posted on — ReplyWhy are most of your betchography posts so random? DC, Philadelphia, Boston, really? Those places aren’t THAT betchy. The most betchy places are long island, westchester, new jersey, connecticut (fairfield county). AKA where camp friends come from. fucking duh.
Posted on — ReplyAmen to that.
Posted on — Reply^like
Posted on — ReplyNo shit dumbass you can’t be a betch and a democrat.
Posted on — ReplyHoly Cross and Holy Child are only for fat virgins besides that one girl who got punched last year (if you’re a DC betch you know exactly what i’m talking about) and Maret and GDS are for wannabe betches who pretend to be hipster so they can be different. NCS betches rule the 202, everyone knows that and all true betches acknowledge it.
Posted on — ReplyI love georgetown but it’s not technically WASPy as the P in WASP stands for Protestant and georgetown is Catholic
Posted on — Replybetches go to colleges based on academics specifically so we don’t have to hear peons use phrases like vom.com
Posted on — Replyumm UVA? no. nice try tho. Anything south of fairfax county is bumblefuck.
Posted on — ReplyUmm georgetown along with Tysons is definitely prime hangout unless youre like 15 and cant get into bars.
The whole MoCo thing is totes true. One of the wealthiest counties in the nation. Just look at the student parking lots.
And everyone in Moco is WASP by association.
Posted on — Replyumm supporting poor people.. wait that sucks more you loser democrat.. vom
Posted on — ReplyHolton, Georgetown Day, Maret, NCS and Sidwell are more expensive than other schools like Visitation, Stone Ridge, Holy Child, Holy Cross but thats because they aren’t Catholic. Catholic schools dont need to charge as much because they have their own sort of government to back them financially (the archdiocese of washington). This is the case anywhere in the country with Catholic schools. The first group of schools are made up of mostly Jews and Protestants and are actually much more diverse- they have Indians and Asians as well. The Catholic girls school are much much betchier because the girls are much much hotter. Its not even a contest. The only respectable high schools for guys in DC are Landon and Georgetown Prep (no i didnt forget about St Albans, theyre nerds) and these guys prefer the catholic school girls because theyre hotter and betchier.
Posted on — Replyyou actually just wrote a fucking paragraph like someone cared.. cute
Posted on — ReplyUmm, “best” is a relative term. First of all, any school that costs more than $30K is betchy by standard. And let’s just say that the Holy Cross girls think they’re brainy if they get into Clemson. The NCS, Sidwell, and Maret girls go to Ivy Leagues. Where they continue their gloriously betchy lives. And date St. Albans boys when they realize they’re like smart Landon guys without the date rape.
Posted on — ReplyUVA? No. They go to Ivies.
Posted on — Replyso true, and “being from DC” usually means you’re from the super rich waspy parts of MD and Northern VA…. both wonderful places for betches. ANDDD whoever said “it’s all about NOVA” is totally right…
Posted on — ReplyAlso, I think in order to qualify as a betch you have to be somewhat educated and able to read which… as evidenced by the responses to this post…. is not the case for many betches.
I’m a bethesda betch too, betchiest place on earth. MoCo is the shit and this post is ridiculously accurate. Aside from the fact that they didn’t mention the bro schools where the betches find their lax bros. Landon was alright but only for the sluts who needed to whore around to feel confident. The true betches hook up with Georgetown Prep or Gonzaga. And yes, Whitman and Churchill are the shit too. Oh, and they didn’t mention the two betchiest country clubs, Columbia and Bethesda. Aside from that, I applaud this post and it’s uncannily accurate description of a DC Betch. Must have been a DC betch herself, or knows how to do her research. Fuck the national mall and hail Montgomery Mall.
Posted on — ReplyTHANK YOU. you clearly know your shit unlike the people who wrote this, sorry bout it. Sorry but I doubt you’ve been to DC and/or NoVa based on the bullshit written in this post.
Fairfax county needs it’s own betchography post and would most likely rank higher on the betchiness scale than ghetto as fuck DC
Posted on — ReplyThere is ONE exception for public schools being betchy. Langley, don’t even try to argue this one bitches.
Posted on — ReplyHAH you’re fucking wrong. Arlington and McLean is for the faggots who are too poor to live in Potomac, Bethesda, or Chevy Chase. You’re clearly a poor betch. boo hoo whore
Posted on — ReplyHail UVA. Georgetown and GW are averagely betchy, but they have nothing on UVA. And I don’t even go there
Posted on — Replywe all know only fucking weirdos go to maret.. its actually kindof offensive that you wouldnt even mention Holy Child, Stone Ridge, Visitation, or even Holy Cross… these are where the real DC betches are at…..not at fucking Maret, Sidwell, or GDS. Get your facts straight before posting about how glorious the “tard” schools from this area are
Posted on — Replybest part about most dc betches, is that they claim to NOT be betches and in public pretend to be into politics and whatever their parents’ jobs are, especially sidwell and gds girls.
maret is too small of a school to have any betches
Posted on — Replyyou might have missed visitation list, but definitely not holy child cause all of them are simply stupid.
if only anyone knew that NOTHING dc did was substantial to NCY we would all be better off. who cares if your from “outside DC” you’ll still NEVER be far enough to be outside NYC. grow up losers.
Posted on — Replybest part?
Unfortunately Sarah Palin, the only woman to make it anywhere near the White House while also doing nothing, couldn’t even get elected…
THANK GOD. I don’t care if betches sit around doing nothing, but I kind of want the figure head of my country to be doing something.
Not a political comment, more happy that someone acknowledged that Sarah Palin is a betch who doesn’t.give.a.shit
Posted on — ReplyMaret and Georgetown day couldn’t be less betchy. Filled with flaming liberals who “care too much”
Posted on — ReplyTo start off, if you do not actually live in DC, meaning your home phone number has the area code 202, you will never be able to call yourself a legitimate DC Betch. While Chevy Chase is extremely close to the borders of DC, and it may feel like you live in the city at points, the fact of the matter is you are not from DC, but from Maryland. We all know what Maryland and Virginia are. Being from DC is a highly coveted thing few Betches obtain, and if you are from MD or VA, the closest you’ll get is saying you live “NEAR DC.”
Most DC Betches go to a private school, both in and out of the city. If you go to school in DC, but do not live there, sorry- you are not a legitimate DC betch. The real DC Betch absolutely despises DC Public Schools. No DC Betch gives a crap about Churchill, Whitman, or any of the other public school in Maryland and Virginia. DC Betches have many friends who don’t live in the city, who state they are “from” DC. Because we love them we’ll never make them say other wise, but secretly we’d kill to correct them.
As for what the real DC Betch is like, while the city is packed with Congressman and Senators, the real DC Betch comes from a rather wealthy family, but she is not delusional about the average American. This is DC after all and people love to be P.C. Anyone who strives to be a “Potomac wife,” well you’re just pretty much worthless.
The DC Betch has great common sense. Even if you drive everywhere, you still know how to use the metro, and for the most part have the stops from the red line starting at Bethesda, till Union Station, memorized. Being a DC Betch you remember when the “doors closing” sound changed on the metro, and at first were very upset by it.
As a DC betch you know that GW SUCKS. While most DC Betches don’t stay in DC for college, the DC betch would never go to GW, only Georgetown.
When it comes to the ghetto, the DC beth is not TERRIFIED of it whatsoever. The DC betch can handle her own, and while she knows what the ghetto is, and where it is, the DC betch would easily be able to handle any “sketch” situation.
The real DC betch does not visit Georgetown that often. It’s packed with too many obnoxious tourists, and shopping in Georgetown gets way too annoying to do it frequently.
All DC Betches either live in NW, mostly upper NW, and a few select ones in upper NE, right around the hill.
The DC Betch loves lax bros, and for the most part can’t stand large groups of girls.
Whoever wrote the official DC Betch post should be exiled from the 202. Thanks for ruining one of the best cities.
#noDCBetchgivesafuckaboutMDorVA
Posted on — ReplyHAHAHAHAHHA IM LAUGHING SOHARD RIGHT NOW!! i go to whitman and everything you guys said is SO right on aahhaha i love this
Posted on — Replythe author of the book that Mean Girls is based on went to Maret. http://rosalindwiseman.com/2009/03/29/informal-bio-2/
Posted on — Replyhave the betches ever been to DC? it would have been a great post if they had not tried to be like every other analysis of the city and claiming it’s all about politics when that is so untrue for almost everyone young enough to NGAF.
Posted on — Replyno one in their right mind would live in foggy bottom if they knew what they were doing, and even though it’s far as hell away, great falls is one of the wealthiest areas in the country.
also hardly anyone who grew up in the area would bother going to georgetown or gwu and live right by their parents going to the same bars they went to with their fake ids in high school, obvi you go to uva if you can get in.
Wait, there’s life outside Dupont? Why?
Posted on — Replygorg*
Posted on — ReplyYeah, he sends them to fucking Sidwell.. effing gross. Last time a betch hooked up with a guy (creature**) from Sidwell? Never. Last time a betch hooked up with a WASPy laxbro prep from Churchill? Every fucking minute.
Posted on — ReplyWow could you be like anymore fucking illiterate? vom.
Posted on — ReplyAnnapolis is okay too, if you live in MD. Or the National Harbor. My friend has a condo there, and its super fun for the summer. Just DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, go anywhere outside the harbor. PG county is scary as shit.
Posted on — Replynot to mention the roman catholic church is the richest organization in the entire world. anyone saying that a catholic school education is un-betchy is obviously jewish or did not visit rome when they studied abroad….
Posted on — Replyits 37k for madeira day students, i think that settles that
Posted on — ReplyDC betches shop at Tyson’s, fucking duh.
Posted on — Replyall these comments prove that washington DC betches care way to much, like seriously calm down
Posted on — ReplyLangley trumps Churchill and Whitman, and arguably the private schools mentioned, on the betchiness scale. The students come from megamansions in Great Falls and the nicer side of McLean; their Fourtune 500 CEO, surgeon, and politician dads choose to send them to Langley because the academics are better than most private schools around.
Posted on — ReplyAnd to the girl who claimed that DC betches would rather to party in their parents’ basements than go to Georgetown, no. Just fucking no. Most of us can afford a 10-minute cab ride and don’t want to sip stolen vodka out of a Dasani bottle while listening to an iPod like we’re fucking freshmen in high school.
ew madeira is awful. i looked at going there and wanted to kill myself during my entire visit.
Posted on — Replysoooooo true
Posted on — Replyat every holy child graduation i’ve been to, it’s like at least half the class is going to huge state party schools that accept 50%+
Posted on — Replybetches love uva because it’s super greek. lots of old money there
Posted on — ReplyI’m sorry but Alec Baldwin doesn’t care about politics? Have you ever heard him speak? He also started off as a political science major at GW.
Posted on — ReplyThe best, and most expensive, colleges and universities (familiar with the ivy league?) have huge Jewish student bodies. And big time Jewish donors.
...Which of course your mom would have taught you if she ever made it there, which seems unlikely given your non-betchy prejudice and stupidity.
Check your facts…many of the wealthiest people in dc are Jewish
And don’t even get me started on Potomac…
Nice try, but antisemitism has never been and never will be betchy
Posted on — Replyall of the areas listed are extremely expensive to live in. you are an idiot.
Posted on — ReplyNCS is the betchiest private school in the DMV, fucking duh. Its super exclusive and has three presidents daughters as alumni. Betches who go to NCS make not eating a graduation requirement and mainline diet coke like its a fucking miracle drug. You must be a jealous Ho-Town bitch.. ew.
Posted on — ReplyGeorgetown Cupcake fucking sucks. Thank you for at least acknowledging that fact, even if the rest of the post was questionable.
Posted on — ReplyThis post is pretty good but the failure to mention Smith Point is evidence that a real DC betch was not involved in writing this article
Posted on — Replythis is the funniest one yet. im from bethesda and i go to whitman so this betch and totally relate to the betch from dc. betchbetchbetchbetch!
Posted on — Replyoh please, any true betch knows that mean girls is based off of new trier, the betchiest high school in the north shore of chicago
Posted on — ReplyTo tHE comment before me:
Couldnt have said it better myself.
Think about who’s paying for all your financial aid at that second or third tier school you go to….Chances are it’s a Washingtonian Jew, whose pinky finger is worth more than your entire pathetically stupid family combined.
Better keep your assholic opinions to yourself in this town, cause no matter
Posted on — Replyhow much you social climb there’s one thing dc Jews don’t take lightly: antisemitism (and they own more than half the city)
YEEEEEAA poolesville represent. the only part of moco thats not full of housing develpoments and betchy people
Posted on — Replydon’t forget about bradley cooper, also a Gtown alum
Posted on — ReplyReal DC betches know it’s Tysons*. No possessive apostrophe. But yes, def plural. Tysons Corner and Tysons Galleria.
Posted on — ReplyYou are tacky
Posted on — Replyso over this…
georgetown- uptight preppy betches who usually tth
gw(jew w) - uptight snobby betches who wear sunglasses inside(ew)
and nobody cares about virginia unless your from arlington and a member of washington golf country club. duh.
Posted on — ReplyI agree! It does suck, way too touristy….. Dc betches know that baked and wired is where it’s at. Chai tea lattes yummmm
Posted on — ReplyDc betches know baked and wired is where it’s at. Georgetown cupcake is overpriced and too touristy. It’s not even that good.
Posted on — Replychurchill: filled with japs/betches. those betches have been wearing juicy tracksuits since the beginning of time. potomac is definitely full of wannabe betches (also known as MILFS). wooton is and always will be in churchills shadow
holy child: these betches always end up at the state schools like south carolina or delaware (dumb betches). either you get awful gpa’s by the end of your 4 years of high school or you drop out and go to whitman, cause most hocho betches live in btown
holy cross: moco’s armpit school. everyone who goes there is stupid, slutty, and lives in bumfuck maryland (what is derwood?). these girls are not betches by any means. unless you consider slutting it up with all of prep/landon being ‘betchy’
whitman: also known as ‘whiteman’ (does it really need an explanation?). has some of the betchiest girls around, but still is much more civilized than other public schools. whitman betches own everyone else with their gpa’s and SAT scores
bethesda chevy chase/walter johnson: trashy betches.
holy child: these betches always end up at the state schools like south carolina or delaware (dumb betches). either you get awful gpa’s by the end of your 4 years of high school or you drop out and go to whitman, cause most hocho betches live in btown
holy cross: moco’s armpit school. everyone who goes there is stupid, slutty, and lives in bumfuck maryland (what is derwood?). these girls are not betches by any means. unless you consider slutting it up with all of prep/landon being ‘betchy’
stone ridge: mostly classy betches. a few rotten betches in that crop, but most of the betches hail from kensington from nice, wholesome betchy families. mostly filled with smart betches
visitation: classy betches. nicest address and campus out of all the others. although they might not be the party betches, theyre the ones who go to the good colleges. rock on visi betches
bullis: how could you leave bullis out? theyve got the rich jappy betches who spend their money on trashy clothing and flashy cars. only way you can go here is if youre too pretentious to go to churchill, but too dumb to get into holton
holton: lame betches. nuff said
langley: rich betches. persian betches all around. have you seen the school parking lot? didnt realize you were going to a mercedes dealership, did you?
ncs: half and half; some are classy smart betches, the rest are cokehead betches who spend all of daddys cash. these betches along with their st albans boyfriends make the betchiest and richest couples in the DMV
maret: no one cares about these betches. cooler betches than holton only cause they can say theyre actually in DC
landon: might as well be betches cause everyone who goes there acts like they have a vagina
madeira: daddy loves spending on these betches education, just cause he can. only a few bad betches here, but the betchier they are, the more fun they are. and social climbing.
Posted on — ReplyPotomac School?!
Posted on — Replyum what the hell yes. Maret is the least betchy school ever…who wants to hook up with anyone who has a frog as their team mascot? hello, no one. Visitation and NCS are major betch schools. Another notable McLean betch school is Potomac, they aren’t great at sports and don’t have the best guys but their girls can be some major betches
Posted on — ReplyIt’s “sweetgreen” not “Sweet Green.” Just like betches and their abrevs, entrepreneurs love trendy lowercases and can not have their time wasted by pressing the spacebar.
Posted on — ReplyGW was the most expensive undergraduate degree in like 2008 and owns almost as much land in DC as the fucking united states government so by definition, its betchy.
Posted on — ReplyVirginia? Ew. Not sure what this betch was smoking when she gave shout outs to Maret and Sidwell and not GP or STA. Pretty decent assessment of NW/MoCo for an outsider I guess…
Posted on — ReplyThis is Absolutely perfect. From the northwest comment to the not being afraid of the ghetto. On point. MD and “nova” girls are so annoying with their obsession with Georgetown and gtown cupcakes and “dinners on the waterfront”. They don’t even know what real dc bars & clubs are and always have to ask their real dc BETCH friend where to go. They’re obsessed with saying they’re from dc but they’ve never been on the green line or southern part of the red line in their life. They o to the zoo for fun and usually go to bars in bumfuck Virginia because they can’t hail taxis right outside their house or just walk across the street to a bar like a real dc BETCH. And for the betches obsessed with money, you can’t find a house in northwest for under a million and your average house in good neighborhoods costs a shitload more than your shitty as house in ghetto Fairfax or wherever the fuck else you “nova” betches reside in suburban hell
Posted on — ReplyAnyone from their beloved “NOVA” (who the fuck says that, seriously stop) or MD just say they’re from dc because admitting you’re from one of those pointless states is embarrassing. Some of them can be really rich, sure, but they still party at each other’s houses or go out in bars where there are 20 people max because they dont know how to use taxis or the metro and they are too afraid to drive in dc because they’re fucking idiots. Every dc betch has friends in these areas and want to smack them every time they status update “home to dc!”..no you’re fucking not. You’re home to your house in some stupid state where you paid 1.5 million for a house because your dad couldn’t afford a 3 million dollar house in northwest dc, where your neighbor is an important politician and the bar across the street from your house has a new celebrity every weeknd. Yeah, tell me great falls or fairfax is “rich & betchy”....and then tell me why you say you’re from dc and not from your beloved NoVaAaA?? .... That’s right.
Posted on — ReplyYou can’t find a house in McLean or Great Falls for less than about 1.5 or 2 mil. Trust me, the “NOVA” bitches not from these two places are annoying as hell and this is coming from a McLean betch. If I could cut off any association with these NOVA dumbasses who go out in Fairfax and other shitholes that’d be preferable. No one I know fucking goes to Georgetown cupcake and we’re not incapable of finding the real places to be in DC
Posted on — Replythe wire’s about balti. beetch.
Posted on — ReplyI love how everyone’s arguing over schools and various districts. Calm down betches, nobody likes a stuck up, nit-picking, narrow-minded bitch. The Betches obvi have their own opinions, as every single other person does. So STFU and go shotgun a Diet Coke.
Posted on — ReplyMichael saylor, anyone?
Posted on — Replyloled hard at this… so accurate. “might as well be betches cause everyone who goes there acts like they have a vagina” hahah that is golden.
Posted on — Replyreal dc betches don’t care.
Posted on — ReplyThe betch who wrote this should have written the post.
Posted on — Replydon’t you mean whory child? sorry bout it.
Posted on — Replyvery very true
Posted on — Replyfucking ncs is the betchiest school in the 202. not only are they smarter than the other betches, but they are prettier, and richer, and know wats up. i mean they invented regina george.
Posted on — Replysaid by somebody who doesn’t really know anything about students at GW…
Posted on — Replychantilly = suburban hell. no one who needs to drive an hour to dc should consider them part of the city. langley is the only public school in va that could possibly be considered betchy
Posted on — Replyno real betch would use the word faggot as we understand it is offensive to our gay BFFs. you sound like a dumbass not only for that but because mclean and great falls are far more expensive than the md areas you named off.
Posted on — Replyenjoy shopping at your area’s dsw and lame as fuck montgomery mall!
I’m interning on capital hill this summer but i’m from palm betch, and go to Florida State…. where should i live thats not poor or ghetto?
Posted on — Replysidwell? you need to add BULLIS! heart of potomac <3
Posted on — ReplyI normally read this website like a bible but several parts of this post are SEVERELY in the wrong. I felt the need to correct them..
1. “The betch who lives in DC: doesn’t actually live there, except for maybe in the northwest quarter. Otherwise she most likely comes from Potomac, Bethesda, Chevy Chase, or McLean, Virginia”
...Mclean?? If youre going to even speak about Virgina and not mention one of the wealthiest parts of the state AKA Great Falls then you probably dont know the area very well. Also, maybe the northwest quarter? North West DC is one of the richest areas on the east coast (Glover Park, Georgetown, Dupont, etc.) check your real estate markings..probably take that MAYBE out of there.
2. ” Georgetown Day, Holton, NCS (omg, Mean Girls is like, ABOUT my school), Maret, or Sidwell (omg, Sasha Obama is like, IN my sister’s class) “
...this was probably the most alarming part of all. You say a betch cant be a democrat, yet you list THE most liberal annoying as fuck weirdo schools in the area with the exception of Holton and NCS, which are actual betchy schools. GDS, Maret, and Sidwell (omg, Sasha Obama is like, IN my sister’s class and her father is economically ass-raping our country by the minute!) NOT BETCHY. The fact that those 2 prance around there is enough reason to not call it betchy. Thank you to the betch that recognized SR, Visitation, Holy Child, and Holy Cross..not to mention Madeira, another very betchy school. If its all girls, its betchy. If its not, its either public AKA poor with the exception of the above mentioned acceptable public schools OR its a weirdo school aka GDS, Maret, etc.
3. “You can always find a DC betch at her country club, whether it’s Chevy, Kenwood, Congressional, or Woodmont.”
...CLEARLY you did not grow up in this area or know anyone who did. Woodmont (aka JEWmont) is mentioned and not Columbia or Bethesda? Columbia and Congressional are the two richest and hardest country clubs to get into AKA exclusive AKA betchy as fuck.
4. “because while DC is a legit place, it’s not exactly the number 1 party town.”
...have you ever even been out in DC? Obviously not.. There’s nothing really more to even say about that stupid remark.
You’re welcome for the corrections betches. Please do not disappointed me this way again.
Posted on — ReplyAs one who lives in DC, I would like to attest that it is not betchy, and the guys that live here are not pros. They’re all either douchey wannabe Senators or second tier wannabe investment bankers. And if you live outside of NW DC as a post-grad, you’re not betchy. And no mention of the DC bars? Was really hoping to get your take. Overall, poorly researched article.
Posted on — ReplyIf I see a line of people from M all the way up to Prospect one more time, I swear I will run them over. Not.even.that.good. Waste your hour somewhere else in this huge city!!
Posted on — ReplyI normally read this website like a bible but several parts of this post are SEVERELY in the wrong. I felt the need to correct them..
1. “The betch who lives in DC: doesn’t actually live there, except for maybe in the northwest quarter. Otherwise she most likely comes from Potomac, Bethesda, Chevy Chase, or McLean, Virginia”
...Mclean?? If youre going to even speak about Virgina and not mention one of the wealthiest parts of the state AKA Great Falls then you probably dont know the area very well. Also, maybe the northwest quarter? North West DC is one of the richest areas on the east coast (Glover Park, Georgetown, Dupont, etc.) check your real estate markings..probably take that MAYBE out of there.
2. ” Georgetown Day, Holton, NCS (omg, Mean Girls is like, ABOUT my school), Maret, or Sidwell (omg, Sasha Obama is like, IN my sister’s class) “
...this was probably the most alarming part of all. You say a betch cant be a democrat, yet you list THE most liberal annoying as fuck weirdo schools in the area with the exception of Holton and NCS, which are actual betchy schools. GDS, Maret, and Sidwell (omg, Sasha Obama is like, IN my sister’s class and her father is economically ass-raping our country by the minute!) NOT BETCHY. The fact that those 2 prance around there is enough reason to not call it betchy. Thank you to the betch that recognized SR, Visitation, Holy Child, and Holy Cross..not to mention Madeira, another very betchy school. If its all girls, its betchy. If its not, its either public AKA poor with the exception of the above mentioned acceptable public schools OR its a weirdo school aka GDS, Maret, etc.
3. “You can always find a DC betch at her country club, whether it’s Chevy, Kenwood, Congressional, or Woodmont.”
...CLEARLY you did not grow up in this area or know anyone who did. Woodmont (aka JEWmont) is mentioned and not Columbia or Bethesda? Columbia and Congressional are the two richest and hardest country clubs to get into AKA exclusive AKA betchy as fuck.
4. “because while DC is a legit place, it’s not exactly the number 1 party town.”
...have you ever even been out in DC? Obviously not.. There’s nothing really more to even say about that stupid remark.
You’re welcome for the corrections betches. Please do not disappointed me this way again.
Posted on — Replyhow goddam good our schools are. Moco schools have separate colleges admissions representatives than the rest of maryland. There are multiple kids at Churchill/Whitman whose parents are in the forbes top 1000. There are more diplomat license plates in the parking lots than there are teachers’ spots.
are the private schools more prestigious; yes. Do moco public schools have their FAIR SHARE of arrogant, laugh-at-poor-people, entitled betches. Hell yeah. This author is SPOT ON.
Posted on — ReplyPERFECT. Not a DC native, but a Georgetown betch here, obviously moving to NYC after graduation. Have to slightly disagree about going out in DC though - it can still get pretty ridic, despite the politicians.
Posted on — Replyi don’t know anyone at GDS OR maret who is betchy. truth: holton (or should i say ho-town), ncs (spoiled brats), sidwell (rich alcoholic democrats). everyone at stone ridge is smart. holy cross is for people who didn’t get in to stone ridge or visi and won’t go as low as holy child b/c they’re not as slutty. umm ghetto? everyone who goes to stone ridge lives in chevy chase, bethesda, potomac, etc. sure we’ll have the random kid from gaithersburg or rockville or a less-betchy area like that, but most kids are loaded and live in the nicer suburbs.
Posted on — Replyeveryone at NCS is a spoiled fucked up brat who gets whatever she wants. they drink and party way too much but still have one of the best college lists in the area since their dads give the ivies $5 million a piece so she’ll get in somewhere good. i literally have met 3 people who were actually nice who went to NCS and i’m pretty sure they wanted to kill themselves from all the peer pressure and competitiveness. so glad i didn’t go here.
Posted on — Replystone ridge owns. we top visitation any day.
Posted on — Replyholy child and holy cross shouldn’t even be in the same league as us. they’re just jealous because they didn’t get in to stone ridge or visitation.
no one cares about GDS or maret. they have shitty sports teams and the randomest people go to those schools.
no one likes NCS or sidwell. they’re spoiled alcoholics who think they’re better than everyone else.
ho-town girls can go screw around with some landon bros…no one gives a damn
Thanks for clarifying this very betchy distinction about GW. I don’t know many schools where having another kid say to you, “Do you want to fly to Vegas with me on my Dad’s plane for the weekend,” is totes casual.
Posted on — Reply1. least betchiest. i mean, come on, that is just not correct.
Posted on — Reply2. you’re so wrong. maybe visi had some betches, but holy cross, holy child, and stone ridge are deff for the schools for the sluttier, poorer, dumber girls. sorry i’m not sorry
perfect comment
Posted on — Replytotally agreeing with other comments on how awesome moco pub schools are… i mean, seriously.. they are so comparable to private schools other than the fact that they’re some times over populated…. but i went to a moco high school and i had a friend who owns 7 horses and donated $100,000+ to the obama campaign and he came to dinner at my friend’s house.. so um, yes. public or private schools.. they’re all living in the same neighborhoods.
Posted on — ReplyYeah, you can’t even buy a fucking house in MoCo for less than a million.
Posted on — ReplyFYI - he transferred to Georgetown for his girlfriend…
Posted on — Replyand again, thank you.
Posted on — ReplyWho are you? You make EHS look bad. It’s the betchiest coed school in dc because its the only real boarding school in the area and where the southern elite send their children. You’re an embarrassment to all the EHS betches out there
Posted on — Replywho are you people its supposed to be funny stop being so insecure you fuckers
Posted on — ReplyThis is fucking hilarious. WHO GIVES AF? Honestly. Grow up and enter the fucking real world. No one gives a fuck about which private school you went to in DC. I can say this confidently having gone to NCS. Life truly begins AFTER high school and the fantasy world end. College is college and if you’re bickering about whether GWU or Georgetown is fuckin “betchier” you clearly need to grow the fuck up. YOU AREN’T IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE! FUCK!
Posted on — ReplySweetgreen*
Posted on — ReplyUmm hello? AU may not be as betchy as GW or Georgetown but we deserve an honourable mention. We got the international bros and betches on lock. Madrid for the weekend? Only every weekend. And fuck yea, I got blackout in Capetown for MLK day. We’re diverse and rich and we don’t give a fuck. Yea we didn’t go to private schools in D.C., only because we were off in Dubai, Oslo, Shanghai or wherever. Don’t let our thick accents fool you, I’m a betch and so is every other girl here. Not to mention AU is Gay BFF galore
Posted on — Reply1. AU is disgusting it’s like an actual leper colony
Posted on — Reply2. Girls that go to Georgetown dress like actual moms, fugly jeans and all while GW undergrads dress like their dads have black cards. Only one of those things are betchy.