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By The Betches on

We'll admit we heard of Pinterest a while ago and our obvious reaction was like, why would I go on the website where my tutor submits my homework? Who even has interests let alone pinterests?

But much like with Twitter, as 2012 rolled around we started to hear about it everywhere. If 2011 was all about #winning, 2012 is clearly about #pinning. Suddenly even our own besties were talking about the delicate art of designing pinboards and how pinning has allowed them to get in touch with their "calming colors," so now they only like interior decor in black white and aquatic hues. What was happening in the world?

Pinterest is like a midpoint between online shopping and reading Modern Luxury/Bride/Town and Country magazine and once we gave in, it became like a new form of therapy, if therapy was a severely addictive waste of time.

pinterestA fan made us this.

Before we go any further, it needs to be said that everything on Pinterest reeks of nice girl. There is NOTHING that helps us cultivate our fake nice image more than Pinterest. Like you just woke up from vomming into your toilet but sign into Pinterest, pin up a series of floral arrangements on a silver fucking platter, click 'like' on some white enamel bangles and voila! Suddenly you're a masterful homemaker and an urban stylista again. Now go wipe your vom.

While Twitter lets us tell everyone our hilarious opinions and black out escapades, Pinterest is where we get to show everyone our classy taste and highlight our housewife potential. It's like these days, if you can't figure out how to transform your vanilla cake into a perfectly symmetrical tie-dye explosion you might as well just devour the entire thing for how long it'll be until you're married.

Betches also like Pinterest because it broadens our shit-talking horizons. In the past, our frenemies kept their private thoughts like, private. But now they share their fugly pins for all the world to see. Ugh, Carly isn't even engaged yet but she WOULD pin a master bathroom with his and her vanities.

With that we introduce to you The Betches Guide to Pinterest. Here's the betchy way to use yet another social network to project your innermost profound appetites in the form of hydrangeas, pearl strands and antique mirrors.

Making Boards: The naming of your boards is obviously a huge thing, usually some variation of "things I love/dream house/dream vacation/places and spaces/home things/sweet treats/stuff I luff/I'm unoriginal but I can rhyme." We are not condoning naming boards like this but we'll admit we have never once seen a creative pinboard title, which is fine because originality has no place on Pinterest StepfordWife.com.

pinterestBecause the $2200 we pay for rent will totally get us a place like this.
Who to Follow: You sign in through Facebook so there's the awkwardness of automatically following all your friends who are also on Pinterest. This was reallll awkz at first until you realized that it happens to everyone and they knew you weren't actively following them...and it was great once you realized all the followers you would soon have to show off your flawless taste to without them even asking for it.

As you'll inevitably get followed by randos once you join, you definitely should not follow those randos back unless they're your actual friends. Follow-back rules are the same as Twitter, you only follow people you'd stop and chat with.

However it's okay to follow complete randos and to repin them freely. They don't know you so you don't have to be embarrassed that you're like, complimenting their taste or anything.

Repin Etiquette: You can repin people who have repinned you in the past, or people who you followed automatically who you've physically seen and spoken to (amicably) in the past year (in real life).

Comment/Like Etiquette: Only cool to do on a third tier outer circle friend's pin at most.

So betches, unlike memes which were over in 35 seconds, it looks like Pinterest will be around for a while if only for the reason that it's extremely entertaining. If you're too cool for Pinterest, that's chill, we are too but our agent told us we had to sign up. But now that we're on it, it's like wow, this is what mankind has been missing. How else will poor people without wedding planners figure out what calligraphy font they want on their ivory double-stock place cards?

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25 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. This Betch says:

    a little late, betches…

    Posted on Reply
  2. SrattyBetch says:

    can we talk about fugly girls with absolutely no fucking taste go around pinning shit like they’re Karl Lagerfeld? I admit, I pin. But at least in my world I can/do wear the shit I pin while they are pathetic wannabes who just click pretty things and pretend they have a point of view. What a joke.

    Posted on Reply
  3. I. says:

    I remember laughing at the idiots on my Facebook who just caught on to Pinterest within the last few weeks. And then I saw this. Sigh. I’m disappointed.

    Posted on Reply
  4. pluvia says:

    defensive and insecure much?

    Posted on Reply
  5. Anonymous says:

    Obviously the blog got a new writer because the style is just not at all the same and not funny. I’m sorry betch but you are seriously #failing

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    No excuses. Shit is lame.

    Posted on Reply
  7. I meannnnn really? says:

    Shit’s as lame as it gets betches. I was hoping you’d shit all over this nice girl networking fail. Talk about TTH and attention seeking. Ew.

    Posted on Reply
  8. betchy says:

    the difference between a betch and bitch clearly lies with your ignorant comments…bitch. just because people cannot afford certain things, doesn’t make their opinion any less valid.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    OMG!!  YES!!!  I agree!!  I want to comment… “You have FUG taste!!!!!”

    Posted on Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    Eff pinterest. Its all about instagram

    Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    “There is NOTHING that helps us cultivate our fake nice image more than Pinterest. Like you just woke up from vomming into your toilet but sign into Pinterest, pin up a series of floral arrangements on a silver fucking platter, click ‘like’ on some white enamel bangles and voila! Suddenly you’re a masterful homemaker and an urban stylista again. Now go wipe your vom.” OMG yesss this has happened to me and is pretty much part of my hangover routine! Not my fault I have amazing taste even when I’m incoherent.

    Posted on Reply
  12. Anonymous says:

    Also, a little disappointed you didn’t mention how nasty it is when people pin desserts and fried food. That’s fucking disgusting, don’t eat.
    Maybe pin salad if you really need a board called “scrumptious” and don’t know what to put on it other than Diet Coke.

    Posted on Reply
  13. Anonymous says:

    what the eff. you guys will post about some shitty housewife thing and not tumblr? redic

    Posted on Reply
  14. Anon says:

    SERIOUSLY.  pintrest=nice girls, tumblr=betches.  fucking duh

    Posted on Reply
  15. cutabetch says:

    it doesn’t have anything to do with affording things. it’s about bitches who have no personal style yet pretend they’re stylists. Like, you are you joke. Also, I might think that some movie star is gorg and skinz but just because I have that opinion doesn’t make me like her.

    Posted on Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    you can “repin” whoever/whatever you want who fucking cares

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    or maybe they were just busy having a life?

    Posted on Reply
  18. TS says:

    And trashy and insecure.  You’re actually the joke.  Ha!

    Posted on Reply
  19. Exclusive Betch says:

    Any dud can join tumblr. Pinterest has a fucking waiting list. And every betch knows that #56 cutting lines is totally VIP.

    Posted on Reply
  20. anon says:

    I think everyone who has commented in negative regard to this post is just bitter bc theyr probably fat n poor n writer you were exactly right, so now theyr mad you told them about themselves. Pinterest is a good girls site, although i do use the website, but I, like i should, repin things that would look good on me or that r my style. If your bitter towards betcheslovethis, then dont read the posts!? that simple:)

    Posted on Reply
  21. Anonymous says:

    AGreed!! Youve either lost your touch or need to fire the new fake betch.

    Posted on Reply
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