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By The Betches on

It's finally time to honor a betch who most people didn't even know existed until about a year ago. We're talking about a Brit whose rise to fame was so meteoric we almost forgot to make fun of her for being named after a Broadway show.

pippaYou can take a betch out of spring break but you can't take spring break out of a betch.

Of course we're talking about Kate Middleton's younger and possibly hotter sister. She may be gorg but she totally owes it to Kate for marrying into the Royal Family, because to be famous and pull off a name like Philippa, you definitely have to come up with a trendy #9 nickname for yourself and be like, really pretty. Imagine if she looked like Chelsea Clinton, she'd have to work at like, the BBC as a journalist or some shit. Gross.

But while Pippa may not have been born to the #17 Lucky Sperm Club, she seems to be settling into her new membership with ease. Something needs to be said about the fact that when the royal wedding comes up in conversation, as it often is, the only thing people seem to remember is Pippa's ass. Like sorrz Queen Elizabetch but did you really think your fugly yellow hat was going to steal the show?

pippa My name is Phillippa and there's a really weird hat on my head yet I'm still cooler than you.

Even her line of work is up our alley. When she's not being photographed walking down the street holding a new handbag every other day, she spends two days a week "working" for her parents' party company and spends all the other days um, going to parties. She's even getting paid to (have someone else) write a book about parties. There's something to be said for a betch who literally writes the book on partying.

But seriously, the girl could be a deaf and blind zombie and no one would know because the only thing anyone says about her is that she's hot. There are like, actual websites devoted to her ass. She brings literal meaning to the dance teacher in Bring It On's suggestion to 'report those compliments before it gets so big it forms its own website'.

So anyway, congrats to the Middletons for being the first sisters to be honored with Betch of the Week, and a special snaps for Pippa. We can't even pretend like you've done shit because you haven't but that's exactly why we love you. Like every betch knows, as long as you're rich, royal, and hot it's better to have done nothing than something.


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33 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, Pippa’s real hot.


    Posted on Reply
  2. Alicia says:

    Kate is def the hotter one. But, that lucky betch Pippa. She didn’t have to marry a balding ginger && still gets an honorary membership to the lucky sperm club. I’m def a jelly betch.

    Posted on Reply
  3. evie says:

    as a betch living in landan, can i just say i am so over pippa? like all the uproar and compliments on her arse…. it just happened to be a super flattering dress. would have looked like that on any skinny betch. if you ask me, her face looks like a old woman’s. ugh let’s focus on someone better for a change. the middletons are so 2011.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Anonymous says:

    uhh…pippa is just average looking although she is skinny and has fab clothes and is lucky kate is her sister. fail.

    Posted on Reply
  5. Anonymous says:

    omg. so disappointed in this. i thought you guys would share the dislike i have for her. i seriously don’t get what the fuss is about.. her ass is dece but that face… 
    she was in the right spot at the right time and that’s about it. can we pleeeease move on? thaaanks

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    VOMVOMVOMVOM. i have seen trannies with better make up application skills. big eyebrows= hot. bushy man eyebrows= nasty.

    Posted on Reply
  7. Betch named Philippa says:

    Philippa is the betchiest name possible. Its an uncommon name that low class losers dont ruin and it is the epitome of a high class name. If you dont have the name Philippa or dont like it you are clearly not a part of the upperclass #17 lucky sperm club.

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    Um so now Queen Elizabetch is making Christmas tradition exceptions because “Kate is so nervous for her first Christmas away from her family.” Now Pippa is invited though she isn’t royalty. The first ever non-royal at the royal Christmas party? I think that sounds like a betch.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    lol. when pippa got her name her family was middle class. nice tryyyy

    Posted on Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    her sister’s way hotter.. don’t get it or this post

    Posted on Reply
  11. Um- says:

    Um let’s be serious. She is a real butter face, everything else other than her face being hot.. Kate def got the looks in the fam

    Posted on Reply
  12. not charmed says:

    Just saying.. like kate really lucky and can obviously get what she wants. but shes not gorgeous or anything

    Posted on Reply
  13. moi says:

    i don’t think either sister is all that. both are very plain in my opinion.

    Posted on Reply
  14. BetchyBetch says:

    Her family was never middle class when she was alive fucktard.  They were already loaded.  I agree the name Philippa is as betchy as they come.

    Posted on Reply
  15. Anonymous says:

    yesss so perfect. this has been a long time coming. great post, betches

    Posted on Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    pippa is ehhh. but if you want to talk about someone associated with the royals who is a betch, do a post on chelsy davy

    Posted on Reply
  17. Hanna says:

    I completely agree with you. I’m SO sick of hearing about Pippa. She’s really ugly and her butt is nothing special (I really don’t get why everyone got all excited over it.) Kate’s a million times prettier, and Kate’s the one who landed a prince AND will go down in history. Pippa won’t. Pippa’s absolutely nothing without her sister (and she’s still nothing, in my opinion.)

    Completely undeserving of the betch of the week title.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Anonymous says:

    she’s really ugly and once again it’s proven that whoever writes this site is actually truly hideous. why else would you think she’s pretty?? she looks 10 years older than kate and she’s the younger sister….

    Posted on Reply
  19. Anonymous says:

    the right place at the right time looking like THIS:


    Posted on Reply
  20. Anonymous says:

    ew are you serious using the word arse? i mean you are from “landan” but really

    Posted on Reply
  21. Laughing Atchu says:

    its jeal, not jelly. If you’re going to abbrev, do it correctly.

    Posted on Reply
  22. Anonymous says:

    i cant help but disagree betches. pippas poor face, enough said. my dog has nicer bone structure.
    and that troll shes grinding on in the photo is so fug btw.

    Posted on Reply
  23. jessica says:

    you can’t say that’s “so 2011” when it’s still 2011. fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
  24. Anonymous says:

    actually, kind of forgivable. a deserving BOTW, (unlike pippa) ja’mie king uses arse and she can make everything betchy.

    Posted on Reply
  25. Monica says:

    a bunch of jealous b*tches to me! Hahaha

    Posted on Reply
  26. Laura says:

    Pippa’s not a Brit. Perhaps some more knowledge applied in coordination with your conceit would make for a better read.

    Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    wow… seriously disappointed in this. pippa looks OLD and is basic. yawn. over it.

    Posted on Reply
  28. Alphabetch says:

    Am I the only person who was mildly entertained by dog who’s dry humping pippa? He totally looks like he wrecked himself and like that guy in the “jizzed in my pants” video?

    Posted on Reply
  29. Anonymous says:

    yeah Pippa may be the shit but she’s fugly

    Posted on Reply
  30. Anonymous says:

    If you’re going to correct a bad “abbrev”, I’m sad for you that you picked Jelly,  sorry babe, I would say that Jelly counts as a SOLID abbreviation.

    Posted on Reply
  31. Abbrev POLICE says:

    jelly is an abbreviation, get over yourself non-betch

    Posted on Reply
  32. Anonymous says:

    eww wtf she’s ugy

    Posted on Reply
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