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By The Betches on

It's possible you've never heard of today's betch of the week. That's because she's probably the closest we'll ever come to granting this honor to a non-celebrity...not to be uninspiring.

Petra Ecclestone is the British daughter of an Armani model and a rando billionaire, but she isn't your run-of-the-mill heiress. Sure she's friends with the Hiltons and all, but Petra is a little different. Mostly because Paris only has $50 million, meaning she's practically poor.

Petra possesses the obviously betchy qualities, like she's really pretty and #5 skinny, and no doubt a member of the Lucky Sperm Club. Petra modeled for a little, she designed some men's clothes...none of that really lasted. Whatevs, it happens. Betches aren't known for being particularly good at #36 work.

 

petraDon't think those monogrammed shoes distract us from his cross-eyes

 

But Petra isn't known for her partying and wild ways either, actually she's the complete opposite. That's because she contracted meningitis at 14 and has since has become a complete health freak and devoted to meningitis as a charitable cause. That's like, really sweet of her. We might even call her sensitive, but think again.

Petra, who's only 22, is known for her casual property-buying. No, she doesn't have a job, but in addition to her London mansion, Petra just bought Aaron Spelling's mansion in Los Angeles for like, 80-something million. Aside from the fact that this particular lot has already been #9 nicknamed "Candyland" after Spelling's wife Candy, Petra sealed the deal on this real estate gem by asking her betchy mom to borrow a cool 80 mil to pay for it. But mom, it was listed for $150! Memorial Day Sale! Ends tomorrow!

Gives new meaning to borrowing mommy's charge card.

In addition to collecting mansions, she also collects Birkins. Who collects Birkins? Remember when Samantha Jones had to fight Lucy Liu for one?

She also collects those boughie Rolex watches and has several rooms worth of clothing. Petra doesn't think she's spoiled though, just privileged!

Anyway, Petra is getting married this month to a rich Pro named James Blunt Stunt. He bought her a Bugatti for their engagement, which was 5 times the price of Rihanna's performance fee at their engagement party. Their wedding will be a 3-day event at a castle in Rome, probably followed by a yearlong honeymoon and then a lifetime spent interior decorating.

 

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13 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. The Betches says:

    sorry but this chick is NOT hot.

    Just another example of how bleach blonde hair, and super smokey eye makeup can make any fugly bitch look like a hot betch.

    Posted on Reply
  2. The Betches says:

    ewww you think with all of her money she would have at least gotten her teeth.. (face).. fixed woof ..

    Posted on Reply
  3. The Betches says:

    HAHA SO TRUE. Whorey black eye makeup and bleached hair make an ugly dud look like a hot betch. Add in the fact that shes skinny, and you’d never know she’s actually ugly as hll!

    Posted on Reply
  4. The Betches says:

    this was a lame post. Sorry im not sorry

    Posted on Reply
  5. The Betches says:

    Mildly unimpressed… I’m more worthy of betch of the week than this fuggo bitch (or anyone else for that matter). Better luck next time.

    Posted on Reply
  6. The Betches says:

    Wowww okay I’m all for making $$ but there’s definitely a Chili’s ad at the bottom of that post. First of all: ew. Second of all: ew. Third of all:…..seriously?

    Oh and this Petra beast is so fake looking I could puke. There’s a difference between being excessively fake and being pretty. I should know, I live in LA.

    Posted on Reply
  7. The Betches says:

    And the ad is gone. That was weird…

    Posted on Reply
  8. The Betches says:

    Okay now it’s campusbookrentals.com. You should definitely rethink these ads, they’re going against everything you promote. Partner up with something we’ll actually be interested in, like Net-A-Porter.

    Posted on Reply
  9. The Betches says:

    um, nicole richie, rachel zoe.. zoila from flipping out. really anyone would’ve been better than this whore. step it up betches

    Posted on Reply
  10. NYBetch says:

    If she’s so rich, why can’t she get her weird-ass moles removed?  That should’ve been her first stop, before the mansions

    Posted on Reply
  11. AR says:

    The ads are based off what YOU browse/look at online. For instance, mine right now is Saks. So you’re the sad non-betch who has obviously looked at Chili’s and textbook rental at some point…. major ew, must be poor therefore not a betch!

    Posted on Reply
  12. Bluebird says:

    Petra is an absolute GODDESS!!!!!  She is a natural beauty.  Despite all her money, she is a well grounded, really cool, beautiful woman.  I think Petra has an absolutely stunning face and her body is smoking hot. James Stunt is so frickin lucky to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.  The guy clearly won the female lottery!!!!!!! I love Petra and am a huge fan.  I would love to see her get her own tv show.

    Posted on Reply
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