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By The Betches on

This week’s Betch of the Week is taking the world by storm…literally. Now normally, we don’t #2 follow the news, but when it involves something that could potentially fuck up our hair, suddenly we’re paying attention.

hurricaneJust because you're in a bad mood doesn't mean you have to ruin summer vaca for everyone.

Introducing the betch who proves that moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty, Hurricane Irene.

We know, Irene is usually a name for librarians and annoying people, and what the Chinese deliveryman calls your mom instead of "Ilene". However, like former Betch of the Week Regina George, Irene is turning that name on its head and showing us that you can be fierce even if you were given a nice girl name.

Irene is coming to town and you better fucking bet that means your plans come second. Like any hard partying, violent #7 BSCB, she doesn’t give a shit what you’re doing. Drop your plans, now you’re dealing with her. You should really be scared though because Irene has the entire east coast on her #25 WYDEL and she’s in a bad fucking mood.

Irene is about to tear shit up as she makes her way from the Bahamas to New York (a trip every NY betch has taken at least once in her life), and if you thought that stupid earthquake was bad, Irene’s about to show us what happens when another bitch tries to steal your thunder.


You better believe she’ll be ruining any chance you have of #27 tanning this weekend. Irene is a jealous pasty betch and she does not take well to competing with others. You think Irene gives two shits that were supposed to go to Jason’s 22nd birthday pool party this weekend, or that it’s like, the fucking MLK walk?

So east coast betches, beware of Irene this weekend. Someone must have hooked up with her boyfriend or something because the betch is pissed off and there isn’t enough Xanax in all of CVS to sedate her.


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25 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. The Betches says:

    I think this is the best post yet. Adore. Shared with everyone at work, lmao! <3

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  2. The Betches says:

    im a guy…. what am i doing here….

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  3. The Betches says:

    Clearly you’re unaffected by this travesty, this is not a lame post. It’s actually painful, my house on Cape Cod is like about to be destroyed. I haven’t even been there yet this summer, wtf. Irene you’re a bitch!

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  4. The Betches says:

    YOUR UGLY BIZZYINBERLINE……busy doing whaat?

    Posted on Reply
  5. The Betches says:

    She’s more of a bitch than a betch to me. She pushed my move-in date from this Sunday to today (Friday) and then Tuesday. Life wtffff?!

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  6. The Betches says:

    How about all the betches at UNC Wilmington that were fucking evacuated the night before the first huge frat party? Irene isn’t only a jealous betch, but is also a major cock block.

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  7. The Betches says:

    I just shipped two bigs boxes of my personal betch’s personal belongings from our apartment in Hanoi to our future residence in North Carolina. Hurricane Irene better not mess that up.

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  8. The Betches says:

    This is awful!! I am seriously disgusted by this post and may never read this blog again. People have already died from Irene, a hurricane that is predicted to be the decades most destructive storm, and your tacky enough to first compare it to some character from a middle school drama and then dare complain about how it will mess up your hair? I know that most of these posts are heavy in satire and mocking “betches” but the sad thing is girls/women are taking your posts seriously. I think an apology is in order.

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  9. The Betches says:

    Decades most destructive storm? Uhhh it’s the first year into the decade. Are you a fortune telling betch? Otherwise, that comment was stupid.

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  10. The Betches says:

    OMG I have the perfect fix for you … a sense of fucking humor. You seriously need one. I am in one of the many areas that was greatly affected by this storm and I still think this post is hilarious, but I mean I don’t have a stick in my ass that makes me boring.

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  11. The Betches says:

    Whatever. I’m so over it. I’m going out anyway, I don’t care what she says to me.

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  12. The Betches says:

    LOVE this post. So. True.

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  13. The Betches says:

    this is the most shallow post ever. get a life outside of your swweeet sweet sisterhood cuddling bond and get over yourself and actually learn about whats going on

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  14. The Betches says:

    SABRINA…..are you a witch or just poor?

    Posted on Reply
  15. The Betches says:

    Irene is legit the biggest bitch of the year. Who the fuck does she think she is to ruin the last weekend of Summer for us New Yorkers–whore!…….Super funny post. Might be the best one since froyo

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  16. The Betches says:

    Love this post…Regina isn’t a nice girl name! Literally means “queen”

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  17. The Betches says:

    This has just made me laugh till I cried. Actual real tears.

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  18. The Betches says:

    Aahahahaha i can’t stop laughing!!!

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  19. The Betches says:

    this ish is hilarious.

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  20. The Betches says:

    This is tooo funny!!!!!

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  21. Jessica says:

    I thought the storm was called Sandy…?

    Posted on Reply
  22. Maddy says:

    Are you celebrating an anniversary betches? this one is sandy… a different nice girl named betch of a storm

    Posted on Reply
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