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By The Betches on

First of all, shame on you betches. I expected my inbox to be loaded with desperate cries for help, and instead I only got a handful. If you want to sulk and talk about your feelings, watch fucking Oprah. If you want insightful, so-good-it-should-be-illegal insider advice from a pro to help you with #32 Winning, email me at betcheslovethisbro@gmail.com That said, let’s get into the inaugural “Ask a Pro” entry… Dear Head Pro, So last year this bro I met at school started pursuing me. I wasn't really into him, just another one of many, but after a few months I decided to hook up with him while black out. Then I mistakenly chose to look past his initially annoying qualities and decided to give him a chance. We spent a lot of time together and things seemed to be getting (vomit) serious. I was pretty into this bro. Well I guess meeting his entire family, wining and dining me, and being "romantic" doesn't mean shit because I find out after a few months of us "dating" he f'ed some fugly slut behind my back. After that I was turned into a total BSCB and we pretty much cut shit off, but then eventually we started talking again. Now since we've both graduated we live like almost three hours away from each other and we visit sometimes. This includes all kinds of visits including dinner with his family, dinner dates, partying, and just spending time in. We've recently been talking less and less and just had a random encounter and slept together which is like whatevs but I mean wtf? I mean I've def. been like hooking up with other bros and doing my thing but I guess you could say that he takes priority. But now its been almost a year and Im just like fucking over dealing with this shit. From your point of view what is this bro's fucking deal? Am I just the back burner betch? And how do I just cut this shit off for good before I completely ruin any betchiness left in me? Xoxo,

Over it but Not Really Over it Dear Over it but Not Really Over it, What’s this bro’s fucking deal? He doesn’t have one. I want to know what your fucking deal is. So this guy wanted you, chased you, nailed you, and moved on – what’s the big mystery there? Of course I don’t know because you didn’t say, but I’m guessing that the wining, dining, and family bullshit was either a) your idea or b) an elaborate ploy by a bro to try to fuck a girl who wasn’t otherwise into him.

There’s a right and a wrong way to play hard to get. Do it right and you show your bro that you’re a betch who is not to be fucked with, earning you respect and potentially a boyfriend (if that’s what you’re after). Do it wrong, and all you’ll do is piss a guy off to the point where he’ll only try harder to get what he wants and then fuck you over in return for the hoops you made him jump through. I’m guessing you took the latter route. I think he made it pretty clear how much you mattered to him when he cheated on you the first time. Now that you live hours apart, you matter even less to him…and I don’t blame him. There’s no such thing as a back burner, you’re leftovers in his fucking fridge. How do you cut things off and maintain any semblance of betchiness? Simple: Delete his phone number, block his email address, and call your carrier and have them block his phone number. Never fucking talk to him again. You’ve lost this game so hard that there’s no clever way for you to save any kind of face. Cut this bro off for good, and maybe you won’t need to slut it up with a bunch of other ones to convince yourself you’re over him. Besides, what do you want with a bro who spends so much time with his family anyway? Healthy family dynamics are for fucking poor people. Hugs and Kisses, Head Pro

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27 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Anonymous says:

    This is the worst shit ever. Did broslikethissite bring in a token girl to boss them around and talk to them as if they’re 5 yr old mentally deficient children? No so why the fuck are you doing it.

    Posted on Reply
  2. Emily says:

    This is he most amazing response possibl. Is this so called Betch even one of us? NEXT

    Posted on Reply
  3. me says:

    this is terrible and should stop… now.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Anonymous says:

    wow this is fucking stupid, why would u have an entire post dedicated to some loser who has way too much free time, talking shit to some totally unbetchy random?

    Posted on Reply
  5. Anonymous says:

    Just STFU. that was more than a decent response, better than any shit you could write - “5 yr old mentally deficient children? really? Stick to viewing this blog you clearly don’t belong on, k? good job pro

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    Yeah this is lame as shit.  I’m glad you told her she was #losing because she needs to know but calm down, “bro.”  This is an advice column, not a chance for you to get revenge on the female sex in general for whatever betch hurt you.  Sorry but any guy that needs to talk to girls like this is a little too defensive, so clearly not very cool

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    You are both functionally illiterate. Head Pro, your writing is derivative and mediocre. I give it two months before you are marginalized or replaced.

    Posted on Reply
  8. Umm.... says:

    He’s right.

    Posted on Reply
  9. anonymous says:

    i totally agree with you. get this annoyingly agressive “pro” off this site.

    Posted on Reply
  10. Lolaa says:

    HEAD PRO, don’t listen to any of these betcches you’re post was so good. a little honesty in the house, bout time! just put your hata blockaz on and keep up the good work.

    Posted on Reply
  11. ha says:

    Head bro, you’re great. keep it coming.

    Posted on Reply
  12. Anonymous says:

    lol, public school.

    Posted on Reply
  13. Like, um says:

    Clearly this person is not a “Head Pro” if he has the time or inclination to write advice columns.

    Posted on Reply
  14. seriously? says:

    didn’t waste my time to read this, laaaaaame.

    Posted on Reply
  15. Anonymous says:

    pump the breaks, Lolaa

    Posted on Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    Love your candid commentary. This is just what girls who think they’re betches need to hear so that they can actually transform themselves into real fucking betches, god dammit.

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    You betches need to stop hating on the bro.  He’s just telling you the shiz you don’t want to hear about the bros using you.  Head Pro….I like you and like what you have to say.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Anonymous says:

    “hugs and kisses”

    i. die.

    Posted on Reply
  19. I mean... says:

    I’m all for this but this “head pro” sounds like he’s trying way to fucking hard to sound like a “bro.” actually, kind of sounds like a girl trying to be a guy wrote this.

    Posted on Reply
  20. Lisa says:

    Sounds like some people can’t take the blunt, unforgiving honesty here. The girl was being stupid, he elaborated, end of story. Basically it was good advice.

    Posted on Reply
  21. Judge Me says:

    Nobody loaded you’re inbox with “desperate cries for help” because the last post was beyond terrible.

    PS-We have dear betch?

    Head Betches, do you really love this pro? If you can personally advocate he is not a tool than do whatever you want. Maybe hire him a better intern.

    Posted on Reply
  22. Awesomeness says:

    Pro you answered like a real PRO. Seriously good shit right there. You’re so on point with your answer its ridiculous. Anyone who thinks differently should fuck off bc this answer was AWESOME

    Posted on Reply
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