Dear Betch,
So I've been scouring your page looking for info on being friend zoned...HELP. Me and this guy have been talking for about a week or two and we've had a few sleepovers and he hasn’t tried anything since the first night.
First night we were both a little tipsy and we had a steamy make out sesh but that was about it. Since then, not even a kiss has been exchanged, just simple cuddling and sleepovers. I’m a pretty straight forward gal so id usually just be like "Yo, you friend zonin me or what" but I may or may not want this to actually work with the kid so I’m stuck on what to do.
Is he too much of a nice guy and waiting for me to make some sort of move or is he using me as a friendly cuddle buddy so he doesn’t have to sleep alone?
Sincerely,
Hopefully not a friend
Dear Hopefully not a Friend,
There’s no article on being friend zoned on our site because betches don’t get friend zoned, we friend zone other people. Having real #50 guy friends is for fat girls so if you’ve already made out with this guy and he’s not making any moves it’s because he’s just not that into you. That, or he’s really your #52 Gay BFF.
Maybe it’s because he doesn’t find you attractive. Maybe he can smell your desperation. Maybe it’s because you admittedly would say things like “yo, you friend zonin’ me or what?”, a phrase containing slang and reeking of insecurity, something less appealing to men than Hello Kitty and belly fat. Whatever the reason, it’s time to move on. Cuddle buddies are for ugly virgins and characters on Girls.
Sincerely,
The Betches _____________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Betch,
So I dated this bro three years ago. He broke up with me (which was obviously a mistake) and naturally I moved on right away with a new pro. I am marrying my pro in one month.
Here's the thing... my ex has been begging for me back ever since I started dating my pro. Now that the wedding is right around the corner, his behavior has escalated. He took one too many trips to candyland and landed himself in rehab. Now that he is sober he feels like the past three years we have been broken up have not even happened.
He has been texting me constantly and calling my mother... telling her how he is still in love with me. Last night he left me a voicemail in which he was playing guitar and singing a song he wrote about me. I've told him many times I am getting married and he and I are not getting back together. I feel like he is trying to ruin my marriage. I try and be delicate about letting him down though because he has threatened suicide. Even if he is just being dramatic... I take those threats seriously (I lost a close friend to suicide). I still care about his well-being, I just don't love him like that anymore.
How do I get him to stop contacting me without sending him off the deep end?
Thanks,
Bridal Betch
"And I swear..."Dear Bridal Betch,
Sounds like you dodged a bullet by having this psycho break up with you three years ago. It makes sense that he’s acting like this, as he has clearly become a fuck up since your breakup while you’ve moved on and are doing well.
Clearly after getting out of rehab and consistently threatening suicide, this guy has bigger issues than his eternal love for you. But when someone threatens to kill themselves when you won’t be with them, that’s emotional abuse. Seeing how this guy broke up with you and you haven’t been with him in three years, this really isn’t your problem.
You should be very clear that you’re getting married and not interested at all (in as nice a way as possible so he doesn’t try and burn your house down). You should also urge him to see a therapist as his emotional issues are more than you can or should have to handle.
Finally, relax, take a step back and pat yourself on the back for #32 winning.
Congrats betch,
The Betches
mad men recap? please!
Posted on — ReplyHad a similar situation right before my wedding last year… Only reversed, it was my hubby’s crazy ex. If you have any mutual friends with your ex try talking to them about the situation and see if they can help out as well. He clearly needs professional help but its not your responsibility to make sure he gets it, his friends or parents should be the ones taking care of him. You have much more important things to worry about for your big day, the last thing you need on your mind is your ex. He’s not your problem anymore. Stay calm and enjoy every second of your wedding! Congrats!
Posted on — Replynext time he threatens to commit suicide, call the police or a crisis center in your area and let them deal with it… if he’s full of shit, he’ll know he cant just say he’s going to off himself anymore and he’ll probably stop… that’s a ball-less threat to make to someone and he should really get smart about it… if he’s not full of shit, and he actually might kill himself, this is the best way for you to get him the help he needs while staying a safe distance from his psycho self…
Posted on — ReplyObjection, relevance? Also, it JUST aired lat night. Take a breath.
Posted on — Replythey just posted one for another show that aired last night, so stfu
Posted on — ReplyThank you betches! I know he is very manipulative but also bipolar (high suicide rates for bipolar). He has told my mom that he has five therapists and talks to all of them about me. I am a psychologist myself so it isn’t easy for me to give people the cold shoulder when they need more help. I hate feeling guilty but I never did anything to hurt him out of reason. My fiance knows about the situation and I can tell that it bothers him but he knows I am trying to ignore it and focus on the wedding. Thanks everyone for the support!
Posted on — ReplyMaybe just ignore him if he threatens to kill himself. If he doesn’t then you don’t have to worry about it anymore. If he does, then I guess you still don’t have to worry about it…
Posted on — Replyhaha
Posted on — ReplyHad the same ex situation. He not only harassed me, my family, and friends constantly via fb & texts, he called my job everyday bad mouthing me, sent me pictures of his bleeding wrists, and eventually I woke up to my house on fire after finding an expensive present on my porch with a note from him. You know where his ass ended up? Jail. Get a restraining order, don’t keep giving that asshole the opportunity to ruin your marriage/life by feeling sorry for him. He obviously has only his best interest in mind, which can be a dangerous thing. If you’re still concerned about his feelings think of it this way: he can’t kill himself in jail. Do it for his sake.
Posted on — Reply