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By The Betches on

Needless to say, betches don't make resolutions. When you're perfect it's pretty much impossible to improve (besides the obvious resolution of losing 3 pounds). In any case, while we don't need to change, some things in society definitely do. With that we give you our list of things that were SO 2011 and things we're into for 2012.

- Kardashians OUT ::: Baby Disicks IN

- The Rapture OUT ::: Mayan Apocalypse IN

- Looking skinny in your profile picture OUT ::: Finding a pretentious cover photo where you look like you're either cultured or you always have like, so much fun, IN

- Giggy OUT ::: Petches IN

- Ano diet perpetually IN

- Fergie OUT ::: Black Eyed Peas um, also OUT

masonLike father, like son
- Iowa caucus OUT (Wait, what's the Iowa caucus?) ::: Not giving a shit IN

- War Horse OUT ::: Girl on The Bachelor who rode in on a horse IN

- Celebrity pregnancy rumors OUT ::: Celebrity secret surrogates IN

- Russell Brand and Katy Perry's marriage OUT ::: Ugly hot Russell Brand's inevitable relapse into drugs and nymphomania IN

- Anne Hathaway, always OUT

- Your tweets on the left side of the page OUT ::: Your tweets on the right side of the page IN (times they are a changin')

- 50 albums of you and your boyfriend kissing each other on vacation OUT ::: Killing yourself IN

- Saying fuck OUT ::: Saying fook IN

- Chris Lilley dressed as a girl OUT ::: Chris Lilley dressed up as an Asian mom IN

- Finding love in a hopeless place OUT ::: Rekindling love via Twitter IN... however beating the shit out of women, still OUT

- Vanessa Hudgens dating a guy from the Disney channel OUT ::: Vanessa Hudgens dating a guy from ABC Family IN (not being a beard, always IN.)

- Vampire movies OUT ::: Snow White movies IN

- Occupy Wall Street OUT ::: Occupy Soul Cycle IN

- Kim Jung-il OUTIE ::: Fat teenage power hungry pork dumplings IN

- Sew Psyched OUT ::: Power Clutch IN

kim jong un
- Psychotic rants about hating betches OUT ::: never caring IN

- Blacking out OUT ::: blacking out and whiting in IN

- Flirting via sending twitter follow request OUT ::: Flirting via sending Words With Friends request IN

- Having the flu OUT ::: Faking the flu to get out of work IN

- Single Ladies dance OUT ::: Robyn Call Your Girlfriend dance IN

- Spotting celebs at restaurants OUT ::: Becoming a fucking celeb IN

- Ombré hair OUT ::: Ombré mani IN

- Following the election OUT ::: Calling out Ron Paul for looking like the result if Mr Rogers impregnated George Bush and he couldn't find an abortion clinic because he made them illegal IN

- Fake smiling OUT ::: Not smiling IN

- Having a job where you do nothing as a DJ OUT ::: having a job where you do nothing as a blogger or jewelry maker IN

- Missoni for Target OUT ::: Missoni IN

- Oprah OUT ::: Andy Cohen IN

- J-Lo married to an old Hispanic fuck OUT ::: J-Lo fucking a friendly ghost IN

24 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Lauren says:

    The last one about J.Lo made my freaking day! Love it GIRL!

    Posted on Reply
  2. Anonymous says:

    - 50 albums of you and your boyfriend kissing each other on vacation OUT ::: Killing yourself IN


    Posted on Reply
  3. Newport Betch says:

    Stop trying to make fook happen. It’s not going to happen.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Anonymous says:

    fook is already happening. can’t stop the fook. fook you

    Posted on Reply
  5. Clique says:

    Copying the preteen “Clique” books OUT ::: Originality IN?

    Posted on Reply
  6. idiot says:

    fook you newport b-i-t-c-h.

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    you read the preteen clique books…. girls who read and arent betches OUT girls who had no idea wtf you were talking about IN

    Posted on Reply
  8. xoxoemmiegurl says:

    Missoni for target was never fucking IN

    Posted on Reply
  9. ... says:

    yawn this was dumb.. don’t tell me what to do

    Posted on Reply
  10. doozyfab says:

    love all of these!!
    “Having a job where you do nothing as a DJ OUT ::: having a job where you do nothing as a blogger or jewelry maker IN “

    Being a dj is so 2011…..

    Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    laughing with this site OUT:::laughing at this site IN

    Posted on Reply
  12. headbetch says:

    if following the election is out, then how do you know who the fuck ron paul is?

    Posted on Reply
  13. Waitttt says:

    Hold up- eluding to whiting in after blacking out with a reference to “cutting lines”... is that what I think it is?
    If so- thats epic.

    Posted on Reply
  14. OkBye says:

    a) Can’t wait for Brandy’s relapse b) Ombre nails are hideous c) Get it J

    Posted on Reply
  15. Btw says:

    Its Ombré.

    Posted on Reply
  16. OkBye says:


    Posted on Reply
  17. bitch says:

    fook is disgusting.

    Posted on Reply
  18. whatev says:

    love this swedish betch and her haus moves

    Posted on Reply
  19. Anonymous says:

    Please bitch every 13 year old pre-teen betch read those books and they were fucking fabulous so sit the hell down.

    Posted on Reply
  20. vote_betch says:

    couldn’t agree more

    Posted on Reply
  21. Anonymous says:

    ron paul has been running for prez since the 80s

    Posted on Reply
  22. Trip McNeely says:

    The Ron Paul comparison is pretty on point; but he somewhat looks like and really sounds like Timothy Leary (if he had an annoying twangy accent).

    Posted on Reply
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